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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇧 has downloaded:

The main cause of immigration is we’re still a country where people want to go, but we’re working on fixing that.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has shared:

If you’re curious what the priciest item in a store is just bring a kid along because they’ll definitely find then break it.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has viewed:

My cats won’t talk to me because I came home late from work.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has viewed:

Can everyone please turn their A/C off during the day, we need that power to generate images of people with eight fingers.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has shared:

Best tips for saving money: lay down and don’t move.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has bookmarked:

Changing my relationship status from “Single” to “I give up.”

Someone from 🇸🇳 has bookmarked:

Maybe if we all sit extremely still, Monday won’t be able to see us.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has viewed:

To accommodate the size of my wife’s new water bottle, we’ve replaced the passenger seat of her car with a cupholder.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has viewed:

She wanted me to impress her in the bedroom, so I showed her my organized sock drawer and my fresh matching bedding.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has viewed:

It’s not too early to go to sleep. Too early only applies to waking up.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

761 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,923

Funny Quotes Topics

13,892

Funny Quotes Images

10,923

49 minutes ago

3,434

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

That sound when you close the cupboard and hear something fall inside, that’s the sound of somebody else’s problem.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

People drive you insane and then say “see, I told you that you’re insane.”

Making waves on Threads:

In my experience, bowling and pancakes have the same energy. High hopes at the beginning, lowered self-esteem at the end.

Live now on Messenger:

I feel a deep connection to librarians because I also love telling people to shut up.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Donuts have holes in them, just like acoustic guitars, but that’s pretty much where the similarities end.

Breaking via Telegram:

I hate when I grab a live wire and everyone sees my damn skeleton.

Seen just now on Discord:

My signature move is to tell men that I can’t hear them because I have my headphones in when I quite visibly don’t have headphones in.

Just shared via YouTube:

Not arguing with a man that can cook. Whatever you say, handsome.

Just shared via Facebook:

Went to the grocery store hungry. I didn’t need to pay rent this month anyway.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

No place in this world is as dark as my archived chats on WhatsApp.

I talk to myself mostly because I am an excellent listener.

6 months ago

I talk to myself mostly because I am an excellent listener.

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Commentary:
Oh, look at you, a true master of self-care! 🤣🗣️👂 Talking to yourself to get expert advice? That's some next-level life hack right there! Who needs a therapist when you've got the best listener in town? 🤔🙌 Keep those conversations interesting, you never know what brilliant ideas might pop up! 💡😉

am, conversation, excellent, humor, i, listener, myself, self-talk, talk

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

6 months ago
Share → : Girls take a picture of their legs in a bubble bath and say “guess where I am”. The library?
6 months ago
Share → : Imagine the carnage at an IKEA team building event.
4 months ago
Share → : Never trust a wet fart.
4 days ago
Share → : You ever have one of those days that require the use of both of your middle fingers?
2 months ago
Share → : Starting drama with me the week before my period is an absolutely terrible idea – for you.
6 months ago
Share → : I went to a mind reader. She almost went mad.
1 month ago
Share → : Salt is just angry sugar.
6 months ago
Share → : Please stop calling 911 when you see me dancing. I’m fine!

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

761 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,923

Funny Quotes Topics

13,892

Funny Quotes Images

10,923

49 minutes ago

3,417

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇦 has viewed:

Employees should have to take their boss’s last name.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has copied:

We need to stop making more Christmas music. We have enough.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has bookmarked:

If you ever need me, I’m always just a couple missed calls and text messages away.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has shared:

My mind is like someone dumped the entire junk drawer on a trampoline.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has bookmarked:

“This too shall pass!” Okay, but like, when exactly?

Someone from 🇺🇾 has bookmarked:

When life gives you lemons, squirt someone in the eye.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has bookmarked:

It’s nice to have a moment to breathe before reality knocks the wind out of you again.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has downloaded:

There should be a three-day weekend: one day to do nothing, one day to do something, and one day to do laundry.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has shared:

Pretending you don’t notice people staring at you is a skill.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has shared:

Playing dumb for five minutes often saves a lot of work.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Pinterest:

My love language is being sent money.

Trending via Pinterest:

The length of a LinkedIn Post is directly proportional to the amount of bullshit in it.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Eat like your treadmill is watching.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

People who cook breakfast before going to work are too mature for me.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

It’s funny how when you’re at work, “Go to hell” comes out as “No problem.”

Just shared via Slack:

You know you don’t have to give your bathroom a beach theme, there’s no law.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Europeans read a lot because their television shows suck.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

My dad’s handwriting makes a pharmacist look like a calligrapher.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

I don’t understand how I can remember every word of a song from 1984, but I can’t remember why I walked into the kitchen.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

The problem with rich people is that I am not one.

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