Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Ah, the eternal quest for that ideal 'before' picture! Just six more months of procrastination, snacks, and Netflix marathons. 🍕📺 You've got this! 💪😅"

anticipation, away, before, before picture, fitness, humor, i, loss, months, perfect, picture, self-deprecation, six, six months, think, weight, weight loss

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Welcome to your 50s, there’s a wrong way to stretch now.

0

4 months ago

50s, age, aging, fitness, humor, middle, middle age, stretch, stretching, welcome, wrong
I’m heading to the beach without a beach body.

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5 months ago

beach, body, casual, confidence, humor, self-deprecating, summer, vacation
Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here talking baby talk to my plants.

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1 month ago

baby, baby talk, hate, here, humor, imagine, just, me, over, plant, plants, talk, talking
Last time I laid on his chest, I heard girls in there laughing at me.

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2 months ago

awkward, awkward moment, chest, girl, girls, humor, i, laid, last, laugh, laughing, me, moment, relationship, time
Doing all of this just to die in the end! LMAO!

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2 months ago

death, die, doing, end, existential, humor, irony, joke, just, laughter, life, lmao, philosophy
Sometimes I think I’m too old to make a career change. But then I remember how Walter White went from high school teacher to drug kingpin. Anything is possible!

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2 months ago

age, career, career change, change, drug, drug kingpin, high, high school teacher, humor, i, inspiration, kingpin, old, possibility, remember, school, teacher, think, too, walter, Walter White, white

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

77 shares on X this month:

I’m either at work, going to work, coming home from work, getting ready for work, getting some sleep for work, or thinking about not wanting to go to work.

16 shares on Facebook this month:

If you ever go backpacking in the wilderness, be sure to wear corduroy pants, so you can start a fire if needed.

98 shares on Facebook this month:

Running feels great until you compare it to not running.

92 shares on Reddit this month:

Do you ever hang out with someone else’s family, and you’re like, ooooh, so this is what it’s supposed to be like?

82 shares on WeChat this month:

If I unsubscribe from your email list, I definitely do not need you to send a follow-up email to confirm.

29 shares on Twitch this month:

Netflix be like “we know exactly what movie you talkin’ ’bout but we ain’t got it lol”.

25 shares on Slack this month:

I listen to a lot of white noise, so I get really excited when it rains or someone turns on a fan. It’s like seeing my favorite band live.

35 shares on Messenger this month:

My burning question is who thought a two day weekend would suffice the human body.

58 shares on WhatsApp this month:

As a kid, I didn’t understand the subtext of ‘I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus’ at all. I thought Mommy was cheating.

91 shares on Discord this month:

One of the top features of squirrels, for me, has got to be that squirreliness.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇹 has downloaded:

Another fine day ruined by responsibilities.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has copied:

I am not in a good place, geographically.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has copied:

The best way to enjoy your tea while the world is falling apart around you is to remember that the world has always been falling apart around you.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has viewed:

I hurt my bottom after shaking it at the office party. It was a twerk-place injury.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has bookmarked:

Being an adult means your pain never goes away, it just migrates to a new location in your body.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has shared:

We like to vilify hot people, but it’s important to know that people who aren’t hot are also terrible.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has viewed:

Me liking your post is the equivalent of an angel kissing your forehead.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has viewed:

Sometimes I watch people do their jobs, and I’m like, damn, you might benefit from a little imposter syndrome, actually.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has copied:

I don’t get enough credit for acting far less crazy than I actually am.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has shared:

It sucks when you realize it’s only Thursday, until you realize it’s only Wednesday.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Twitch:

I wonder how many calories I can burn petting my cat.

Shared recently on WeChat:

You either die a people pleaser, or live long enough to start leaving texts on read.

Just landed via Instagram:

Your fingers have fingertips, but your toes don’t have toetips. Yet, you can tiptoe but not tipfinger.

Trending via Threads:

I know which nation I like best. Hibernation.

Making waves on Telegram:

I have a condition where if I don’t walk as fast as humanly possible wherever I go, I will die. I’m like the bus in Speed.

Just shared via Slack:

So far, every Miss Universe winner has been from Earth.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Spider-Man, but set in rural England so he just has to walk everywhere.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

Netflix has every movie except the one you want to watch.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

I’m sorry, I didn’t realize that you’re an expert on my life and how I should live it! Please continue while I take notes.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

I told my wife the laundry on the couch ain’t gonna fold itself, so if y’all don’t hear from me later, she probably folded me like an omelet.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I think I’m about six months away from the perfect ‘before’ picture.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Welcome to your 50s, there’s a wrong way to stretch now.

I’m heading to the beach without a beach body.

Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here talking baby talk to my plants.

Last time I laid on his chest, I heard girls in there laughing at me.

Doing all of this just to die in the end! LMAO!

Sometimes I think I’m too old to make a career change. But then I remember how Walter White went from high school teacher to drug kingpin. Anything is possible!

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨