Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • Sleeping in now means waking up without the alarm clock, but still at the same time.
  • Before I drink, I eat liver so the liquor won’t know which liver to attack.
  • Don’t tell me to trust my gut. Thats where I put my snacks. Clearly that’s where I’m the weakest.
  • Nobody will know you’re stoned if you’re always stoned.
  • I’m so sick of TV shows and movies where there are no likable characters. I don’t need to spend an hour with people I hate, I already have my life.
  • I don’t have a nervous system, I am a nervous system.