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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇪 has bookmarked:

I am crumbling under the tyranny of constantly needing to ‘Create an Account’.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has bookmarked:

I shouldn’t have to go to work if it’s rainy. I should get to stare out the window all day like a cat.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has copied:

Kids should get the last name of whichever parent has more followers.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has shared:

Only here for the honeymoon phase, don’t show me your true colors.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has bookmarked:

Gender is a just a scam made by big bathroom companies to sell more bathrooms.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has shared:

Tip on how best to start a conversation with me: Not at all.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has bookmarked:

Coworker: Hey, circling back on that thing we talked about in December. Me: Stop living in the past!

Someone from 🇯🇵 has bookmarked:

Made my last mortgage payment. Yay! I still owe a lot, I’m just not paying anymore.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has bookmarked:

I’m in my 20s, but somehow I’m 16 and also 55 at the same time.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has copied:

Maturing is when you’d rather drink your bourbon half-naked on the couch than go out.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

243 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,512

Funny Quotes Topics

17,578

Funny Quotes Images

15,512

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,356

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Telegram:

If you can’t look back at your younger self and realize that you were an idiot, you are probably still an idiot.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

Women are like apples; I like biting them.

Breaking via Reddit:

Having an international law degree in this day and age must be what it feels like losing chess to a dog and getting robbed of $90,000 afterward.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

Pizza rolls are comfort food because they look like little pillows.

Trending via Threads:

I’m basically the human version of tangled up Christmas lights.

Just shared via TikTok:

The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was making all of the food that is unhealthy for you taste so good.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

The first sin in the Bible was eating an apple. The second was murder. That escalated quickly.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Just heard my knee crack so loud I expected it to glow in the dark.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

White elephant: Nothing brings people together like fighting over absolute garbage.

Live now on Pinterest:

Me at war: You guys mind if I leave a bit early today?

I took a pole and found that 100% of people in the tent were angry.

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I took a pole and found that 100% of people in the tent were angry.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
Looks like someone pitched a tent in the middle of a storm of discontent! 🏕️😡 Talk about intense camping vibes! Maybe they should try a different campsite next time… or at least pack some marshmallows to sweeten things up! 🍡😆

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

67 shares on Instagram this month:

Honestly, I don’t even play an active role in my life any more. Things just happen and I’m like “I guess this is what we’re doing now.”

10 shares on X this month:

“I’m basically the human version of finding $20 in old jeans.”

86 shares on WhatsApp this month:

That’s kind of sexy of you to be a little weird.

59 shares on WeChat this month:

Sometimes, when I need a really good night’s sleep, I call my burrito guy to come over and tuck me in.

69 shares on YouTube this month:

I miss my kids the most when they go to bed and the mosquitoes go after me because they have no other options.

100 shares on Twitch this month:

They should make statues of regular people, like you’re walking through the park and there’s a statue of your friend Jeff.

98 shares on Messenger this month:

Just say, “My future husband would never do that,” and move on.

15 shares on Messenger this month:

Bitcoin is just Kohl’s Cash for boys.

47 shares on Telegram this month:

I told a joke during a Zoom meeting today. Nobody laughed. It turns out I’m not even remotely funny.

92 shares on Facebook this month:

If you like pointing out beautiful scenery to three people who are on their phones, a family road trip is for you.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

16 folks are currently checking 👀

My favorite machine at the gym is the one where you put change in, and snacks come out.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

The fact that I have a lot of wine in the house proves that I don’t drink much. Otherwise the wine would be gone.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

The older I get, the more I treat birthdays like one-night stands and just pretend they didn’t happen.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I bought a robot vacuum today. Named it “Dustbin Bieber”.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

My handwriting makes a pharmacist look like a calligrapher.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Having a girlfriend who doesn’t post herself on social media is an underrated blessing.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Your coworkers are your friends; stop working and hang out.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

To the tune of ‘Everybody Dance Now’: Himalayan Sea Salt

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Never say never. Unless someone asks you when you want to go camping. Then the right answer is always “Never.”

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Attention to detail is so sexy, study me, baby.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

243 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,512

Funny Quotes Topics

17,578

Funny Quotes Images

15,512

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,682

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇿🇦 has viewed:

If you ever need nothing, I’m here for you.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has shared:

Halloween is the only day you can ghost someone and blame it on being festive.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has viewed:

Bugs Bunny was my introduction to opera. Can’t say I’ve kept up with it much since.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has bookmarked:

I would like to thank my arms for always being by my side. My legs for always supporting me. And my fingers because I can always count on them.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has copied:

Everyone hates on Gollum but he had the right idea: become a hermit, collect jewels, swim naked in lakes and pools, occasionally hiss at people who try to make you go places.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has copied:

I feel like waking up early on the weekend is so disrespectful.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has bookmarked:

Funny that the Three Wise Men brought probably the three worst presents for a newborn baby.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has copied:

Did 900 crunches today. It was a bag of Cheetos, but still.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has viewed:

What are some beginner pieces of information for somebody just getting into knowledge?

Someone from 🇬🇷 has bookmarked:

If you’re not happy single you won’t be happy married. Happiness comes from eating food, not from relationships.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Threads:

I hate when I grab a live wire and everyone sees my damn skeleton.

Just shared via YouTube:

No thank you, I only like men who have no interest in me.

Trending via Pinterest:

Old enough to know better. Young enough to do it anyway.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Not a fan of frozen pizza. Too cold, in my opinion.

Seen just now on Twitch:

The human body is amazing. One half-open eye and the brain under emergency power are enough to make coffee.

Trending via WeChat:

If I say “with all due respect,” nothing respectful is about to come out of my mouth.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Spending money on disappointing food is a different type of pain.

Shared recently on Messenger:

So you like bad boys? Cause I’m bad at everything.

Just landed via X:

The spelling of “bourgeoisie” was intended as yet another means of oppression.

Just landed via Facebook:

My toxic trait is thinking I deserve a vacation… while still on vacation.

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