Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇼 has downloaded:

Just googled “insanity” over and over but was expecting different results.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has viewed:

It’s not my job to police the internet, but I just saw someone post a recipe for cauliflower cookies and reported them for harmful content.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has shared:

My dating checklist is down to “not the Unabomber”.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has downloaded:

I just come here for the free life advice and inspirational quotes from people who’s lives are complete train wrecks.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has bookmarked:

I thrive in a waiting room. You need me to sit in a chair and look at my phone? No worries, love, I do this at home.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has bookmarked:

At the job interview with one AirPod in.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has shared:

Little kid on the plane to Boston says “do they speak English there?” and his mom says “kinda!”

Someone from 🇲🇨 has downloaded:

I’m not arguing, I’m just explaining why I’m right.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has copied:

I don’t understand how spending more money than I earn is irresponsible. I’m giving more than I take. I’m generous.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has viewed:

Everyone deserves a day to lie in bed naked and be anti-social. Just sayin’.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

676 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

4,026

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on WhatsApp:

If you haven’t felt old yet today, try explaining to a teenager how little kids used to sit on a phone book at dinner to be able to reach the table.

Shared recently on Slack:

Someone tongue kissed me recently in a way I can only describe as 5th base.

Seen just now on Discord:

Presumably, if you had a time machine, you could just kill young adult Hitler. The baby part seems gratuitous.

Going bananas on Twitch:

I told the trees what you did. Be wary when you enter the forest next.

Live now on WeChat:

Is anyone else really scared for how stupid and illiterate the next generations are gonna be?

Spotted on Messenger:

I really love how squirrels get extra chubby heading into winter mostly because it’s super relatable.

Trending via Telegram:

Why aren’t we using these t-shirt cannons for burritos?

Trending via Discord:

Someone has left me a voicemail. I don’t know what to do. Open the phone app? The contacts? Do I turn on the TV?

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Time to put the stressful screen away (phone) and switch to the comfort screen (Kindle).

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

Men tell you “I know a place” and bring you to the brink of madness.

I, unfortunately, was born without any interest in Avatar.

3 hours ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Sounds like you were on Pandora's "Do Not Disturb" list! 😄🚫🌌

Avatar, born, disappointment, fandom, humor, i, interest, unfortunately

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Establish dominance over your cat by suddenly bolting out of the room for no reason.

0

2 months ago

activity, behavior, cat, dominance, entertainment, funny activity, humor, mischievous, over, owner, pet, pet behavior, pet owner, playful, reason, room, unexpected
Getting out of a sports bra looks like it should be a professional women’s sport.

0

2 months ago

bra, daily, daily life, exercise, fashion, getting, health, humor, life, looks, professional, relatable, should, sport, sports, sports bra, women, women’s, women’s health
Almost fell asleep while putting on the sweater because it got dark for a moment. That’s all you need to know about my morning state.

0

2 months ago

asleep, dark, humor, know, moment, morning, need, sleep, state, sweater, tired
AirBnB is fun for when you want to be financially abused by a stranger with a binder filled with rules.

0

2 months ago

abuse, Airbnb, experience, filled, financial, financial abuse, fun, humor, lodging, rules, stranger, travel, want
Cynics are – beneath it all – only idealists with awkwardly high standards.

0

4 months ago

attitude, cynic, high, humor, idealist, only, personality, sarcasm, standard, standards
There should be a special rating system for movies that tells you how uncomfortable you’ll be if you watch them with your parents.

0

2 months ago

family, humor, movie, parents, rating, should, special, special system, system, uncomfortable, watch

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

49 shares on Threads this month:

Anyone know how to get an air guitar out of a vacuum?

81 shares on Discord this month:

Telling my guitar to “stay tuned”.

90 shares on Telegram this month:

Seven wives and no alcohol? No thanks, Mormons.

39 shares on LinkedIn this month:

OnlyFans, but it’s elderly women teaching you how to sew, knit, can food, quilt, and some solid recipes. OnlyGrans.

100 shares on Discord this month:

I’m not crazy, I’m just mentally spicy.

86 shares on X this month:

This year is starting to feel like it needs to be left outside until we see if it can act right.

39 shares on Reddit this month:

Did the people you had a crush on always like you back or are you funny?

63 shares on WhatsApp this month:

You want me to turn around? The thing that led to a total eclipse of the heart.

62 shares on Telegram this month:

The difference between the kids table and the adults table during holiday dinners is that there is much more screaming, crying, and arguing at the adults table.

40 shares on Slack this month:

Asking a film guy, “Who is that?” when Tom Cruise comes on screen just to feel something.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇲 has bookmarked:

Offering someone food, and secretly hoping, they don’t want it.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has downloaded:

In honor of Charles Dickens, I will also be poor this Christmas.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has bookmarked:

Later is the best time to do anything.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has shared:

There should be sympathy cards for having to go back to work after a vacation.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has bookmarked:

Sometimes there is no way to debug besides staring at the code until you become enlightened.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has copied:

I may forget what I opened the fridge for but I remember every time anyone has ever wronged me.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has shared:

I’m often mistaken for an adult because of my age.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has bookmarked:

Having an exorcism, but only because the demon requested it.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has bookmarked:

My employer is totally caring. They pay so poorly that I can’t afford to have an alcohol or drug problem.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has shared:

The part right before bench pressing when you’re laying down but not lifting is so good.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via WeChat:

Take my advice, I’m not using it.

Going viral on Reddit:

If you collect the crumbs from one Nature Valley granola bar, you can make three more granola bars.

Making waves on Slack:

Chasing after a ping pong ball is wildly dehumanizing.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Putting a blanket over my boss so he thinks it’s night time and goes to sleep.

Making waves on Threads:

Getting mad when an app updates and changes their format is the new “rearranged grocery store” for me.

Shared recently on WeChat:

How do I become a billionaire by 9 a.m. Monday? Please, it’s urgent.

Just shared via Pinterest:

People moaning and making noise over food makes me so livid I can’t keep it in.

Shared recently on Discord:

I think that police officers on foot should wear blue flashing sneakers.

Shared recently on Discord:

Meetings are a wonderful way to help your employees take a break from being productive.

Trending via YouTube:

Girls will be like “it’s fine” then start drawing a pentagram in blood on their floorboards.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I, unfortunately, was born without any interest in Avatar.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Establish dominance over your cat by suddenly bolting out of the room for no reason.

Getting out of a sports bra looks like it should be a professional women’s sport.

Almost fell asleep while putting on the sweater because it got dark for a moment. That’s all you need to know about my morning state.

AirBnB is fun for when you want to be financially abused by a stranger with a binder filled with rules.

Cynics are – beneath it all – only idealists with awkwardly high standards.

There should be a special rating system for movies that tells you how uncomfortable you’ll be if you watch them with your parents.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨