I used to schedule naps, but now they’re little surprise parties my body throws at all hours of the day.

I used to schedule naps, but now they're little surprise parties my body throws at all hours of the day.

Commentary:
“Who needs a personal assistant when your body is the master party planner?! 🎉💤 Just when you thought you had your day all planned out, surprise nap party! Your body sure knows how to keep things interesting! 😂 #NapTimeFun”

Advertisement

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • The secret to a good marriage is that it’s all about give and take. Giving each other frequent back rubs and ordering lots of takeout.

    Commentary:
    “Who knew the key to a successful marriage was trading back rubs for takeout orders? 🍱💆‍♂️ Sounds like a deliciously relaxing union, don’t you think? Just remember, a happy belly equals a happy heart! ❤️ #MarriageGoals”

  • Twitter is fun. You kinda just talk to yourself and sometimes someone replies.

    Commentary:
    “Twitter: Where you can have deep conversations with yourself and occasionally get interrupted by strangers 🐦🗣️ #TalkingToMyself #TwitterLife”

  • As a retiree, I have two pairs of pajamas. Bedtime and daytime. Sometimes I get them confused.

    Commentary:
    Oh, the struggles of retirement – battling the eternal pajama confusion! 🛌🌞 Let’s hope you don’t accidentally wear your bedtime pajamas to the grocery store or your daytime ones to bed! 😂 #RetirementGoals #PajamaProblems

  • The difference between coffee and your opinion is that I asked for coffee.

    Commentary:
    Ah, the beautiful simplicity of asking for coffee and receiving coffee – no room for unwanted opinions to sneak in! ☕😄 Just remember, coffee is always welcomed, but opinions… not so much! 🤭☕

  • You don’t have to be crazy to be friends with me. I also train people.

    Commentary:
    “Who says you need to be crazy to be friends with me? 🤪 I mean, I also train people, so there’s that bonus skill set you get to enjoy! 💪😂”

  • Don’t donate your plasma. It’s a big scam and they’re just using it to make TVs.

    Commentary:
    Well, well, well… 📺 Plasma TVs might offer great picture quality, but who knew they were powered by human generosity and a little dash of skepticism! 😂 Don’t let your precious plasma end up being pixelated on the screen, folks! #PlasmaGate 🦠📡