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Commentary:
"If the price is right, I might consider auctioning off my integrity on eBay 🤑 But hey, at least I'm being upfront about it! 💁‍♂️ #IntegrityForSale"

am, compromise, humor, i, integrity, offer, principle, sell, sell out, value

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

At some point in life, you graduate from Family Guy to American Dad.

0

2 months ago

adult, adult humor, American, American Dad, animation, cartoon, comedy, dad, family, Family Guy, graduate, guy, humor, life, life stage, point, show, stage, TV, TV Show
Prior to the arrival of Paper and Scissors, Rock faced no competition.

0

5 months ago

arrival, competition, game, humor, paper, rock, scissors
Flour company: What if we sell it in a paper bag that’s not fully sealed at the bottom?

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2 months ago

bag, bottom, company, design, flaw, flour, humor, packaging, paper, paper bag, product, product flaw, seal, sell
When waiting for a flight, there’s always one guy at the gate that makes you think, “As long as I’m not sitting next to him, I’ll be fine.”

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2 months ago

airport, always, fine, flight, gate, guy, humor, next, sitting, think, travel, waiting
“You look happy.” Thanks, I stopped dating.

0

2 months ago

dating, funniness, happiness, happy, humor, i, relationship, sarcasm, stopped, thanks
The older I get, the easier it is for me to look at a situation and say: “Yeahhh, I’m out.”

0

5 months ago

aging, attitude, decision, easier, exit, exit strategy, humor, i, maturity, me, older, say, situation, strategy

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

41 shares on WeChat this month:

That uncontrollable urge to hurt myself and others when a film’s subtitles are slightly out of sync.

44 shares on Snapchat this month:

I’m equally comfortable holding a guitar as I am holding a baby, I just hold them both by the neck.

10 shares on Reddit this month:

Just because I’m friendly doesn’t mean I like you. It just means that I’m not rude.

63 shares on Instagram this month:

Bro, did you really just mix up e.g. and i.e. in front of the hoes?

78 shares on Threads this month:

Me (seductively looking at a potato): would mash.

24 shares on X this month:

I wish more dumb people were shy.

18 shares on TikTok this month:

Political ads be like: send us money so we can send you more ads.

46 shares on Telegram this month:

Do animals have celebrities? Like, do birds all recognize that one bird who sings really well?

94 shares on Instagram this month:

Not to sound like a potted plant, but sunlight and fresh air really make a difference.

42 shares on Snapchat this month:

I stop myself at least twice a day from posting a status that would make everyone grab popcorn.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇱 has downloaded:

Twitter is a weapon of mass distraction.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has shared:

Life tip: If all of your bathrooms are full and you’re waiting for someone to finish, just turn off the WiFi in the house.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has downloaded:

Haggis – the meal you have to stomach twice.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has shared:

That awkward moment you can’t understand what somebody is saying after they have repeated it about five times.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has viewed:

11:00 am – Anything is possible. 3:00 pm – But not today.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has downloaded:

The reward for doing really good work is more work.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has viewed:

There’s really nothing as pathetic as watching a sad little man argue with Grok in hopes of manipulating the conversation to get an answer he wants.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has copied:

No, you tell me what YOU were doing during that gap in my resume.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has viewed:

Hey, people, my age. Remember going into the computer lab at school?

Someone from 🇬🇼 has viewed:

If you’re the type of person who likes to be left alone, I’m with you. Better yet, I’m not with you.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Pinterest:

When I was a kid, there were two ways to die, natural causes and talking back to your parents.

Spotted on TikTok:

I’m the type of person to go back to sleep and try to finish a dream.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Piñatas are a fun way to intentionally maim the guests at your party.

Just shared via Reddit:

Shoutout to the friends that still like me. All two of you.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

I no longer dislike Mondays, I’m mature now… I dislike the whole week.

Live now on Snapchat:

God, never seen San Francisco this bad. Spiderwebs completely covering entire business, skeletons just strewn about sidewalks in every neighborhood. Things have got to change!

Trending via Slack:

My mind is like someone dumped the entire junk drawer on a trampoline.

Making waves on YouTube:

I’m sorry to break it to you, but you need a soul to have a soulmate.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

My husband said I use a lot of makeup, so I showed him some makeup tutorials on TikTok and I don’t think he’ll be making that mistake again.

Seen just now on Discord:

Going to the gym to exercise my demons.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I will never sell out my integrity unless I am offered something for it.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

At some point in life, you graduate from Family Guy to American Dad.

Prior to the arrival of Paper and Scissors, Rock faced no competition.

Flour company: What if we sell it in a paper bag that’s not fully sealed at the bottom?

When waiting for a flight, there’s always one guy at the gate that makes you think, “As long as I’m not sitting next to him, I’ll be fine.”

“You look happy.” Thanks, I stopped dating.

The older I get, the easier it is for me to look at a situation and say: “Yeahhh, I’m out.”

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨