Trendy Funny Quotes

  • I only accept apologies in cash.
  • Always remember, if you ever need me, I’m just several phone calls and unread texts away.
  • To anybody I hurt this year, I just wanna say you deserve it. Stop playing with me.
  • My hair would never allow me to commit a crime. I really do leave my DNA everywhere.
  • Diet tip: Your pants can’t get too tight if you never wear any.
  • In filling out an application, where it says, “In case of emergency notify”, I put “Doctor.”