If caterpillars are able to sleep for a long time and come out prettier, why cant I?

Someone from 🇸🇲 has bookmarked:

Replying to all emails with “ya think?”.

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My therapist is fluffy and walks on four paws.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has shared:

I would rather lose you than the argument.

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Time is precious, waste it wisely.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has shared:

I’m sorry I roasted you, I was trying to flirt.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has shared:

Current relationship status: sleeping diagonally across the bed.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has downloaded:

Everytime I spend $20 I think this is fine because I won’t do it again. And then would you believe.

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I find it hard to believe I used to just answer my phone when it rang. No caller ID. No idea who was calling. Just picked it up and said “hello” like a goddam daredevil.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has downloaded:

I can’t go to war, I have to water my plants.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has downloaded:

It’s almost bed time, so I’ll just check my e-mail, Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, and watch a season of my favorite show on Netflix real quick.