If Dracula had a cat, she’d be the one sleeping in the coffin.

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Vatican City should be called Popenhagen.

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Why is everyone against sugar? Who stood beside you when things went wrong and you were sad? It wasn’t lettuce, for sure.

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I haven’t had sex in so long, I forgot how to moan, what if I mess up and bark?

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Never trust people who smile constantly. They’re either selling something or not very bright.

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How I flirt? I look at an attractive person several times and hope that they are bolder than me.

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I’m not making any resolutions. I think it’s time for the years to be better, not me.

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The best way to contact me is to meet me in my dreams at 3 a.m.

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I respect perfume commercials being like we can’t show you a smell mind if we just go insane for 30 seconds.

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I am convinced that size matters, especially when it comes to the heart.

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If at first you don’t succeed, it’s only attempted murder.