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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇺 has copied:

I wanna be crazy rich. I’m already crazy, so I’m half way there.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has viewed:

I can now see how sitting on a porch could fill an entire life.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has copied:

Dear Santa, Money!

Someone from 🇦🇹 has shared:

I have a date and nothing to wear. Or as Nietzsche said: If you stare into a closet long enough, the closet stares back at you.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has bookmarked:

Drink coffee, avoid idiots, read books and repeat.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has downloaded:

Being sober would be a lot easier if I liked myself.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has shared:

“You’re so quick to cut someone off!” God forbid a girl actually has self-respect.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has downloaded:

Y’all are single because y’all are looking for 90’s love in this sick generation.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has downloaded:

The divorce rate among my socks is astonishing.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has copied:

Fleetwood Mac said that I could go my own way, your honor.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

643 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,236

Funny Quotes Topics

17,359

Funny Quotes Images

15,236

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

3,980

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Slack:

Ladies, don’t date hungry guys. They’re just trying to get into your pantries.

Trending via WeChat:

I am simply too intelligent to be happy.

Making waves on X:

Messages are way funnier when you know how that person talks.

Seen just now on Twitch:

I’m not afraid of ghosts because everyone who’s mad at me is still alive.

Just shared via WeChat:

Are you gonna confess your undying love for me or what, bro?

Seen just now on WeChat:

Adult friendships are like, “hey girl, let’s keep rescheduling to hangout until one of us dies.”

Broadcasted on Facebook:

Every time I get the urge to clean, I watch Hoarders and I decide my house isn’t that dirty after all.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Just because you can connect to your neighbor’s bluetooth speaker and play ghost noises doesn’t mean you should.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Heard a recording of my own voice, and now I can never speak again.

Just landed via WeChat:

A little sign under the doorbell that says, “think twice, adventurer.”

If I had today’s mind, I wouldn’t have made yesterday’s mistake. But if I hadn’t made yesterday’s mistake, I wouldn’t have today’s mind.

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If I had today’s mind, I wouldn’t have made yesterday’s mistake. But if I hadn’t made yesterday’s mistake, I wouldn’t have today’s mind.
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Commentary:
Ah, the great paradox of life – we learn from our mistakes, yet sometimes wish we had learned without making them in the first place! 🤔💡 It's like saying, "If only I could time-travel and give my past self a heads-up!" 😅🕰️ Embrace the journey of growth and introspection, even if it involves some hilarious hindsight shenanigans! 🌟🤣

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

54 shares on Twitch this month:

Burger King implies the existence of an entire burger based feudal system.

59 shares on Threads this month:

I think something is so beautifully wrong with you.

71 shares on Slack this month:

I don’t understand how spending more money than I earn is irresponsible. I’m giving more than I take. I’m generous.

36 shares on Discord this month:

I am just a man, a man who told a woman to calm down, so I guess this is goodbye.

93 shares on Instagram this month:

Tomorrow isn’t promised, so eat that cake today.

43 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Pasta is something I don’t think I’ll ever get tired of.

99 shares on Pinterest this month:

I think I could actually generate electricity with how irritated I get sometimes.

27 shares on Slack this month:

I am MTV, still played music videos, years old.

17 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I only use ‘sir’ disrespectfully.

18 shares on Pinterest this month:

I overthink, therefore I am.

Trending Topics 📁

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Hot Jokes 💥

8 folks are currently checking 👀

“Bluetooth or Insane?” is a fun game we all play when we see a lone person speaking out loud in public.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

When I eat rotisserie chicken, I like to pretend that I’m performing an autopsy.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t know why “you made your bed now lie in it” is a bad thing. It sounds great! I’ll even lie in a bed I didn’t make.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

The most unrealistic part of cooking shows is when they have enough room in their fridge to fit an entire baking sheet.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

A DM? Flirt on the timeline like a real man.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Some people can start a task and then just finish it instead of trying to do a hundred things at once, like a squirrel on crack.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Old enough to know better. Young enough to do it anyway.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Does everyone in the world want to come to my house tomorrow?

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Anyone who doesn’t like me snoring, doesn’t deserve me moaning either.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Stereotypes are like mass graves. They’re both offensive ways to lump groups of people together.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

643 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,236

Funny Quotes Topics

17,359

Funny Quotes Images

15,236

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

3,704

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇿 has viewed:

It’s a beautiful morning. Lots of people out walking their phones.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has shared:

80 years ago we would have all been institutionalized and I think that’s beautiful.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has bookmarked:

The Christmas tree I’ve had up all year makes a lot more sense now.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has copied:

They should invent a type of sleeping where you wake up feeling rested.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has copied:

My transformation into a bitter, angry old woman is almost complete.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has copied:

Well, well, well, if it isn’t that thing I’ve been ignoring until it became a giant problem.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has shared:

Running feels great until you compare it to not running.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has downloaded:

Finally gathered all my thoughts and now they’re jumping me.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has downloaded:

Gonorrhea would’ve been a great name for diarrhea medicine.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has viewed:

My computer: Consider changing your password. Me: Consider fighting me in the streets.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Telegram:

Once I started spending my own money, I realized my mom was right. We do have food at home.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Do you ever hang out with someone else’s family, and you’re like, ooooh, so this is what it’s supposed to be like?

Seen just now on Slack:

If you scroll Twitter long enough, you too can burn calories by shaking your head.

Just shared via Threads:

The idea that wisdom teeth are just some random glitch that God forgot to patch, so now we have to pull them out with modern technology, is retarded.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

The best part of Thanksgiving is being with family and friends, and a vast array of pies.

Just shared via YouTube:

“You look tired.” Yes, bro, I stayed up all night obsessing over things I have no control over.

Making waves on Slack:

My future wife is probably fake laughing at her boyfriend’s lame jokes right now. Be patient, Queen, a true clown is on the way.

Shared recently on WeChat:

I hate when the iPhone corrects ‘Omw’ to ‘On my way!’. Man, I am not that excited.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Asian girl at tech company: Wow, everyone here is so friendly.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

A clever man fills his wife’s closet with so many clothes that no other man can fit in.

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