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Commentary:
"Next time someone asks why you're single, just hit 'em with the classic response: 'Got lucky. 🍀💔' Who needs a relationship drama when you've got all the free time and sleep to yourself, am I right? 😄 #LivingMyBestSingleLife"

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Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I love that the entire economy is just different types of scams now.

2 weeks ago

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When I’m president, everyone who listens to techno, house or rap will be allowed to drive a little faster than others.

1 month ago

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Pet owners be like “this is my pet Snoopy, but their nicknames are Booboo and Thicky Boy!”

1 month ago

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In the 80s, if you woke up feeling thirsty, you could drink some of your waterbed.

1 month ago

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My therapist should also do my nails while we’re talking.

4 weeks ago

care, humor, multitasking, nail, nail care, nails, self-care, session, should, talking, therapist, therapy, therapy session, while
It’s not jingling to you that I’m standing on Christmas.

5 months ago

Christmas, holiday, holiday humor, humor, jingle, pun, standing, wordplay

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇩 has downloaded:

I’ve had two glasses of wine and responded with “Omgggg congrats, sweet girl” on an engagement post of someone I haven’t spoken to in 5 years.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has viewed:

I can be social. Today I meowed at my cat and he meowed back.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has viewed:

The greatest trick ever was making people feel more connected, when they are actually more alone than ever.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has bookmarked:

Instead of studying, I like to stay on my phone and worry about how I’m going to pass.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has viewed:

Many people love saying, “Get these away from me,” after eating a few chips.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has shared:

Massage therapist asked how I felt about chiropractics and I told her the guy who invented it says he learned it from a ghost, and that shut the conversation down pretty quick.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has bookmarked:

My favorite thing to do on the weekend is not leave my house.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Slack:

I hate being responsible for my own meals because I’ll either spoil myself or starve for most of the day.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

FOMO is a summer thing. Winter is all about FOGO (fear of going out).

Making waves on Slack:

There is no bigger lie than “fun for the whole family”.

Broadcasted on X:

Probably always gonna be the weirdo that believes in magic.

Trending via Slack:

I’m a total go with the flow kinda person as long as the flow is meticulously scheduled well in advance and there are no mid-flow changes whatsoever.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Your posts make me wish I could forget how to read.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Everyone’s gangster until they need to pee.

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Activity Log ✨

If someone asks you why you’re single, just answer with: “Got lucky.”

I love that the entire economy is just different types of scams now.

When I’m president, everyone who listens to techno, house or rap will be allowed to drive a little faster than others.

Pet owners be like “this is my pet Snoopy, but their nicknames are Booboo and Thicky Boy!”

In the 80s, if you woke up feeling thirsty, you could drink some of your waterbed.

My therapist should also do my nails while we’re talking.

It’s not jingling to you that I’m standing on Christmas.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Human stupidity exists because if everyone were smart, we’d have no one to laugh at on the internet.

Men tell you “I know a place” and bring you to the brink of madness.

My guardian angel is taking the longest smoking break in recorded history.

Are you stupid, sand? You could just lay here forever on this beautiful beach, but no, you have to try with all you’ve got, to get into my shoes.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Thinking of you while I’m chopping onions.

My spirit animal is a sloth on its fourth nap of the day!

Flirting with submissives is actually really easy. All you gotta do is send a gif of a small animal and say, ‘This is so you.’

“You’re at the age where both 1990 and 2003 are flirting with you.”

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Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

In an alternate universe, the hard way is always learning me.

Picking up women at the bar and then gently setting them down.

A person’s character can be read quite reliably from the way he or she interacts with service personnel.

Sorry about my behavior as of late. I have plastic in my brain.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Guys only want one thing and it’s my grandmother’s meatball recipe.

It’s always “you’re so cute when you’re mad,” until the house is on fire.

Don’t compare yourself with others. Everyone is better than you.

If I ever go missing, check the snack aisle. I’m probably just deciding.

If I had a dollar for every time I didn’t know what was going on, I’d be like, why am I always getting all this money?

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If someone asks you why you’re single, just answer with: “Got lucky.”

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I love that the entire economy is just different types of scams now.

When I’m president, everyone who listens to techno, house or rap will be allowed to drive a little faster than others.

Pet owners be like “this is my pet Snoopy, but their nicknames are Booboo and Thicky Boy!”

In the 80s, if you woke up feeling thirsty, you could drink some of your waterbed.

My therapist should also do my nails while we’re talking.

It’s not jingling to you that I’m standing on Christmas.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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