Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"If they can't see your magic, it's time to pull a disappearing act like Houdini! ✨🎩✨ Remember, not everyone can handle your fabulousness!"

attention, disappear, Houdini, humor, magic, mystery, relationship, self-worth

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I wonder if this next thunderstorm is thinking of me, too.

2 months ago

humor, i, me, nature, next, personification, thinking, thunderstorm, too, weather, wonder
“I’m at that stage of Christmas shopping where I start buying myself presents.”

1 month ago

buying, Christmas, holiday, humor, i, myself, present, presents, procrastination, self-gift, shopping, stage, start, where
Oh, gross. I didn’t know there was protein in this powder. I was only drinking it for the lead.

3 months ago

drink, drinking, gross, humor, i, joke, know, lead, misunderstanding, oh, only, powder, protein
I’ve broken all my New Year’s Resolutions so now I’m moving on to laws of nature.

2 months ago

broken, humor, laws, moving, moving on, nature, new, new year, Resolutions, self-improvement, year
“I’m tired of being forced to eat microplastics. I’m ready for big plastics now.”

1 week ago

being, big, eat, environment, food, forced, humor, microplastic, microplastics, plastic, pollution, pollution problem, problem, ready, satire, tired
I’m always looking for new and exciting ways to give up.

2 months ago

always, exciting, give, give up, humor, looking, motivation, new, new ways, procrastination, self-improvement, ways

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

86 shares on X this month:

Unfortunately, I am literally obsessed with the woman I am when I get stuff done, so I’m just going to keep doing that.

21 shares on Snapchat this month:

The day your kids stop waking up early on the weekend is the same day your body stops letting you sleep in.

36 shares on TikTok this month:

Mixing 1% milk and 2% milk to create the forbidden 1.72% milk.

60 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Grocery shopping while hungry feels like online shopping while drunk.

69 shares on Snapchat this month:

Roses are red, violets are blue. Your parents are very disappointed in you.

83 shares on Slack this month:

The empty side of your bed is for books and chocolate, not for liars who snore.

57 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Ever think vampires just lied about hating garlic, now we’re just out here seasoning ourselves for them?

72 shares on Pinterest this month:

The opposite of “taking candy from a baby” is “putting sunscreen on a toddler.”

15 shares on YouTube this month:

When my nudes go to the cloud, I always hope God is impressed.

69 shares on Slack this month:

I never though I’d be the kind of person who wakes up early to exercise. I was right.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇷 has shared:

Technically I’m still young, but according to my back pain I’m actually 69.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has bookmarked:

Job interviewer: Where do you see yourself in 5 years? Me: I would say my biggest weakness is listening.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has viewed:

The class: “You want us to do what?” Super Mario: “Jump around, catch and eat the giant mushroom, bang your head against the crates and, if necessary, crush all the critters. It’sa easy!”

Someone from 🇮🇩 has bookmarked:

Due to not wanting to, I will not be.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has viewed:

Might start a YouTube channel “will it hurt if I drop it on my foot”.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has bookmarked:

Since there is only one of me, does that make me limited edition?

Someone from 🇲🇳 has downloaded:

How many calories do you burn waiting to hear back?

Someone from 🇪🇨 has copied:

My summer body has been pending for about ten years.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has shared:

“You’re in her DMs, my faint presence sits in her Spotify Wrapped through the music I introduced her to. We’re not the same.”

Someone from 🇲🇽 has downloaded:

Who called it a Cybertruck and not a Deplorean?

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Twitch:

Just landed via WhatsApp:

He doesn’t realize it yet, but this Saturday, I’ll be asking him to untangle 400 feet of Christmas lights.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Babe, you’re not acting according to my delusions right now.

Seen just now on Slack:

Look, ice cream has eggs in it, therefore it is a breakfast food.

Spotted on Slack:

I’m at the age where I have to warm up first before jumping to conclusions.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

I just tried to groom my dog myself, and I now fully understand why the dog groomer charges more for a haircut than my own stylist.

Shared recently on Threads:

It’s not fair when attractive people are also good at things.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Okay, this integrity isn’t going to compromise itself.

Spotted on TikTok:

RIP to everyone killed by the Gods for their hubris, but I’m different. And better. Maybe even better than the Gods.

Just landed via YouTube:

Some of you need to be visited by the ghost of ‘Quit emailing me so much before Christmas.’

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

If they don’t look at you like you’re magic, disappear like Houdini.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I wonder if this next thunderstorm is thinking of me, too.

“I’m at that stage of Christmas shopping where I start buying myself presents.”

Oh, gross. I didn’t know there was protein in this powder. I was only drinking it for the lead.

I’ve broken all my New Year’s Resolutions so now I’m moving on to laws of nature.

“I’m tired of being forced to eat microplastics. I’m ready for big plastics now.”

I’m always looking for new and exciting ways to give up.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨