If they don’t look at you like you’re magic, disappear like Houdini.

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Get married and have kids so that you can Google things like “How to teach your kid to not bite”.

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Does everyone have that one colleague at work who puts you in a bad mood just by looking at them?

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Any time I have ever uttered the phrase “no worries” I have been lying. There are many worries.

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I love when toddlers passionately talk to you about absolutely nothing.

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Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.

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Why socialize when you could party inside your room with your 10+ personalities?

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People always love to claim that a celebrity’s death is “unexpected”, but they never actually release the data on which celebrities they expected to die that day.

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More dangerous than a lion that roars is a woman gone silent.

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I should’ve gotten my affairs in order before I decided to bite into this hot pepper.

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People will make you sad but cheese will always make you happy. The choice is simple.