Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"If they can't see your magic, it's time to pull a disappearing act like Houdini! ✨🎩✨ Remember, not everyone can handle your fabulousness!"

attention, disappear, Houdini, humor, magic, mystery, relationship, self-worth

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Women know the exact weight of their children and their age in days. Men just know that little people live with them.

2 months ago

age, children, days, humor, just, know, little, little people, live, men, parenting, people, weight, women
Stop expecting people to be as cool as you, it’s a recipe for disappointment.

6 months ago

advice, cool, disappointment, expectation, humor, interaction, people, personality, recipe, social, social interaction, stop
Called myself to see if I’d answer, sent me to voicemail. Twice.

2 months ago

answer, call, conversation, humor, ID, irony, joke, loneliness, me, myself, self, twice, voicemail
I thought being an adult meant cake for breakfast, not budgeting for therapy.

6 months ago

adult, adulting, being, breakfast, budgeting, cake, health, humor, i, irony, meant, mental, mental health, therapy, thought
I think my leftovers are old enough to throw themselves away.

3 months ago

away, food, humor, i, joke, leftover, old, think, throw, waste
My love language is being sent money.

2 months ago

affection, being, finance, gift, humor, language, love, love language, money, relationship

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

67 shares on Telegram this month:

“You live and you learn!” Bro, I don’t want to do either of those things.

24 shares on Snapchat this month:

Black Friday used to have heart. I wanna see someone get clocked for a Wii.

23 shares on Discord this month:

The feminine urge to open a coffee shop that’s also a library, a bakery, and a flower shop.

57 shares on TikTok this month:

The only thing that drains faster than my phone battery is my bank account.

12 shares on Discord this month:

Starting all my work emails today with, “to whom it’s about to concern”.

44 shares on Discord this month:

Vegans will look you dead in the eye and tell you cauliflower tastes like ribs.

47 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Middle-aged math is going out drinking and feeling half your age then waking up the next morning feeling twice your age.

51 shares on Twitch this month:

Wish I could just go back to eating cookies and not knowing what day it was.

91 shares on WeChat this month:

I had an irrational fear of bees until I saw My Girl and it became rational.

92 shares on Slack this month:

If you love someone, let them go. If they come back with snacks, it was always meant to be.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇿 has bookmarked:

“What’s your music taste?” Don’t know, man. If it sounds good, I’m adding it to the playlist.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has downloaded:

I hope you all get laid soon, for your own mental health.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has bookmarked:

I think it’s sad that getting married is one of the only ways to guarantee somebody will be forced to make a speech about how great you are.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has shared:

(Flirting) What’s every single thing you’ve ever thought?

Someone from 🇪🇹 has bookmarked:

I hate it when I gain 20 pounds for a role and then realize I’m not an actor.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has downloaded:

We’ve had far more storms since we started naming them. We’re giving them the attention they crave. Just call it needy wind.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has downloaded:

You unfollow me because you are afraid of falling in love with me. I know!

Someone from 🇮🇳 has copied:

Cicadas are all like, “Y’all mind if I scream?”

Someone from 🇸🇨 has viewed:

If you love someone, let them sleep.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has copied:

The ’90s were a time of blissful ignorance where we expected rock stars to sleep with groupies.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via X:

I don’t have a yoga mat, but I have a Twister mat, and it’s the same thing.

Going bananas on Threads:

Even wild things have slow mornings.

Going viral on Telegram:

Cinderella was a mess. I mean, I have bad taste in men, but at least I never settled for a guy who couldn’t remember what my face looked like.

Shared recently on Twitch:

They should invent a man who is being genuine when he says things to me.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

If they don’t look at you like you’re magic, disappear like Houdini.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Women know the exact weight of their children and their age in days. Men just know that little people live with them.

Stop expecting people to be as cool as you, it’s a recipe for disappointment.

Called myself to see if I’d answer, sent me to voicemail. Twice.

I thought being an adult meant cake for breakfast, not budgeting for therapy.

I think my leftovers are old enough to throw themselves away.

My love language is being sent money.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨