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"Ah, the perks of first class! From legroom to leadership, you never know what upgrade might be coming your way ✈️👨‍✈️ Fly high and aim for the cockpit, folks! #FirstClassGoals"

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Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Rock bottom should give me free sandwich and coffee for how often I hit it.

1 month ago
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Dear algorithm, please show this post only to people who have innate psionic abilities and would use their abilities for the betterment of humanity if given a chance.

1 month ago
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My body’s check engine light has been on for years.

1 month ago
age, body, check, check engine light, engine, health, humor, light, maintenance, self-deprecation, year’s
Ironically, the Internet was invented to save time.

1 month ago
humor, internet, invention, irony, save, technology, time
Why fall in love when you can fall asleep?

1 month ago
asleep, fall, humor, love, relationship, rest, sleep, why
They should invent a political party that doesn’t suck.

1 month ago
governance, humor, invent, party, political, political party, politics, satire, should, suck

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Someone from 🇵🇰 has copied:

I was dropped as an adult.

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It’s almost time to pack away the black summer clothes and unpack the black winter clothes.

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Girl math is ten thousand spoons when all you need is a knife.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has downloaded:

If adulting had a return policy, I’d use it immediately.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has viewed:

Can I be speaker? I’m pretty good at saying a lot without saying anything at all.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has copied:

Microdosing bungee jumping by bending over to pick up a hair tie.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has copied:

I miss when The Weeknd was making sex-addict-on-drugs music.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Fellas, if your lady is mad, ask her if it’s because she’s put on some weight. That’ll calm her down.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Coworkers are funny. You could see a guy every day for 5 years then he quits and you never see or even think about him again.

Going viral on Twitch:

Acceptance truly begins when you ask Alexa to play classic rock and she plays a song that came out when you were in high school.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

All of humanity’s problems stem from man’s inability to sit quietly in a room alone.

Seen just now on Messenger:

“It’s been a long week!” Me, on a Tuesday.

Spotted on Pinterest:

A gender-neutral equivalent of ‘sugar daddy’ is glucose guardian.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

I never met a problem I couldn’t make worse.

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If you’re in first class on a flight, sometimes they upgrade you to captain.

Rock bottom should give me free sandwich and coffee for how often I hit it.

Dear algorithm, please show this post only to people who have innate psionic abilities and would use their abilities for the betterment of humanity if given a chance.

My body’s check engine light has been on for years.

Ironically, the Internet was invented to save time.

Why fall in love when you can fall asleep?

They should invent a political party that doesn’t suck.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

This alien invasion could have been an email.

Does anyone have the number of the witch from Snow White? I need a few apples.

In the 80s, you could literally shrink your kids with a shrink-ray, and your wife wouldn’t divorce you. I’m pretty sure I saw a documentary film about it.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

When I was a kid, they played lame music for middle-aged people in the supermarket, but this morning at Whole Foods, it’s now all amazing bangers from my youth.

I’m so loyal to my music, I’ll hunt down a song I used to love five years back.

Never underestimate the healing power of a cheeseburger.

Your honor, I was under the impression it was hammer time.

She was unique, like a millennial that could drive a stick shift.

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Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

I hate when teachers put “?” on my work, like I don’t know either.

Relationship status: he escaped.

It’s always “you’re so cute when you’re mad,” until the house is on fire.

I’ll be home for Christmas, because that’s where I live.

It’s like my wish isn’t even your command anymore…

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

My husband loves it when he orders fries, I say I don’t want any, and then I swoop in on his like a seagull at the beach.

I handed in my exam blank so that the teacher has more time to celebrate Christmas with her family.

Babe, are you OK? You’ve barely fulfilled the prophecy.

You can have kids or you can always know where your scissors are. You can’t have both.

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If you’re in first class on a flight, sometimes they upgrade you to captain.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Rock bottom should give me free sandwich and coffee for how often I hit it.

Dear algorithm, please show this post only to people who have innate psionic abilities and would use their abilities for the betterment of humanity if given a chance.

My body’s check engine light has been on for years.

Ironically, the Internet was invented to save time.

Why fall in love when you can fall asleep?

They should invent a political party that doesn’t suck.

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