Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Looks like someone's not ready to face the future! 🙈 Who knew Mondays could be so intimidating, am I right? 😂 Maybe we should just hit the snooze button on tomorrow, and skip straight to the weekend! 🛌💤"

frustration, humor, procrastination, sick, time, tomorrow

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I don’t believe the phrase “if they wanted to, they would,” because I want to, and I don’t.

0

6 months ago

attitude, believe, desire, honesty, humor, i, motivation, phrase, truth, want, wanted, willpower
I think this man might be the one, I say right before he dumps me and I never hear from him again.

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2 months ago

again, breakup, date, dating, disappointment, expectations, hear, humor, i, love, man, me, relationship, right, think
Better to be an overthinker than an overdrinker.

0

4 weeks ago

better, comparison, drinking, humor, overdrinker, overthinker, thinking, witty
It’s a good thing that not everyone has a smartphone. We also need people who honk when the lights turn green.

0

2 months ago

driving, everyone, good, green, honk, humor, lights, need, patience, people, smartphone, technology, thing, turn
I’ve been reading the room for 20 minutes. It’s not looking so good.

0

2 months ago

20, awkward, discomfort, good, humor, joke, looking, minutes, observation, reading, room, social
Current state of politics: The circus is on fire but the monkey is fine.

0

2 months ago

chaos, circus, current, entertainment, fine, fire, humor, monkey, politics, satire, state

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

80 shares on Slack this month:

Bought a house plant so I wouldn’t be the only one dying of dehydration around here.

73 shares on Twitch this month:

Please pray for my daughter, who had to empty the dishwasher when she “just did this yesterday and she’s tired.”

38 shares on Slack this month:

I love when my Uber driver and I both shut the hell up for a full ride.

72 shares on Pinterest this month:

I would go out of my mind, but I can’t find the exit.

79 shares on Threads this month:

I’m writing a parenting book called ‘Kids won’t listen until you scream like your mother did’.

31 shares on Reddit this month:

You can add tears while cooking if you don’t have salt.

64 shares on Pinterest this month:

It’s getting very expensive to be alive.

71 shares on Slack this month:

My favorite recipe is the one where I pick up the phone and order food.

63 shares on Facebook this month:

Girls will be like “it’s fine” then start drawing a pentagram in blood on their floorboards.

82 shares on TikTok this month:

I lied, there’s no sex. Can you tell me a bedtime story?

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇿🇲 has bookmarked:

I was gonna kiss you under the blood moon eclipse, but whatever, bro.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has downloaded:

Unfollowing girls on Instagram as soon as they get a boyfriend is something I’ll never stop doing.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has downloaded:

How was the word “Wife” invented? They took the first two and last two letters of wildlife.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has shared:

It’s crazy that you don’t really argue with a baby for the first year of its life and then you have to argue with the baby every day.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has viewed:

Female dragonflies will fake their own deaths to avoid mating with unwanted males. They are like, “Ugh, here comes Carl again. Play dead, girl!“

Someone from 🇵🇰 has downloaded:

I don’t know what i’m going to be for Halloween, so I’m probably just going to put in a tampon and go as a sexy kite.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has shared:

Congress taking an entire month off in a country where most people don’t get more than 2 weeks’ vacation is awesome.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has copied:

Lady on the streets, Cheeto crumbs in my sheets.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has downloaded:

Every grocery store becomes an escape room if you see someone you know.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has downloaded:

I just sneezed next to my computer and the anti-virus popped up.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Telegram:

Using Indeed feels like being an ugly guy on a dating app.

Just shared via Facebook:

I have to pee. Story of my life.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Coffee doesn’t even make me feel energized, I just drink it for the love of the game.

Shared recently on WeChat:

The question of whether an employer values its employees is sometimes answered by the toilet paper.

Just shared via Slack:

A web developer and an SEO expert walk into a bar, bars, nightclub, pubs, tavern, beer, alcohol, drinks, alcoholic beverages, bars in my area, places to drink.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Blocking someone isn’t enough; I need their PornHub videos to always buffer, just as they’re about to climax.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

I’ve been ghosted enough to add paranormal investigator to my resume.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Soon as vampires become real, I’m first in line for my bite.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

I’ve started eating healthier and exercising if you’re wondering why I’m in such a crappy mood all of a sudden.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I’m already sick of tomorrow.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I don’t believe the phrase “if they wanted to, they would,” because I want to, and I don’t.

I think this man might be the one, I say right before he dumps me and I never hear from him again.

Better to be an overthinker than an overdrinker.

It’s a good thing that not everyone has a smartphone. We also need people who honk when the lights turn green.

I’ve been reading the room for 20 minutes. It’s not looking so good.

Current state of politics: The circus is on fire but the monkey is fine.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨