Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇦 has viewed:

What many call beauty can just be wiped off 90% of the time.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has shared:

I want a president who promises no jobs. I don’t want to have a job.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has downloaded:

Some of us better hope Santa doesn’t check social media, because if he does, all we’re getting for Christmas is therapy.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has shared:

I hate when I’m trying to spell a word, and my phone can’t do it either.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has viewed:

Fall in love? I can barely fall asleep.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has downloaded:

I know sacrifice. I’m willing to pluck a few extra hairs to get to the white ones.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has copied:

I was not prepared for my knees to sound like someone is breaking spaghetti noodles in half every time I go up the stairs.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has downloaded:

“I asked ChatGPT,” “I asked Grok.” Well, I just made some shit up, and people believe me because I’m well read and use big words.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has viewed:

Every morning, the cat watches me make coffee and asks if we can go sit out on the balcony to watch the birds, and every morning I say, yes, of course, let’s.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has shared:

Dating for love isn’t working. Now I’m dating to conduct psychological experiments and collect data.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

296 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,565

Funny Quotes Topics

17,623

Funny Quotes Images

15,565

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,237

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Reddit:

Going out to eat and shopping by yourself is actually one of the most peaceful and therapeutic things ever.

Just shared via Instagram:

Yeah, sex is cool, but have you ever taken an afternoon nap on the couch?

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

After ejaculation, men automatically realize that everything is vanity upon vanity.

Spotted on Twitch:

I want to make fun of Kanye but I’m always losing my shit on the internet too.

Seen just now on Discord:

December. A desperate celebration of an end.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

People think I forgot the shit they said. Ain’t no expiration date on disrespect.

Making waves on Reddit:

Life is just a sequence of missed opportunities.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Signing all emails with BOOM SHAKALAKA today.

Making waves on Telegram:

I am awake and ready to be disappointed.

Going viral on Discord:

I cheat on my taxes by sleeping with other people’s taxes.

I’m an adult in the same way that Katy Perry is an astronaut.

3 weeks ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
I'm adulting on a whole new planet! 🚀👩‍🚀🎈

adult, astronaut, celebrity, comparison, humor, identity, katy, Katy Perry, perry, same, space

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Nobody defends billionaires better than dudes making $50,000 a year.

4 months ago

better, billionaire, defense, dude, humor, income, irony, making, money, nobody, salary, wealth, worker, year
And to think I survived a global pandemic for this.

2 weeks ago

event, global, global event, humor, i, irony, pandemic, survival, think
An app where you and your partner swipe left and right on restaurants until there’s a match. No talking, no negotiation. Who’s building this?

2 months ago

activity, app, building, date, fun, fun activity, left, match, negotiation, no talking, partner, restaurants, right, swipe, talking, where
No, no, I’m listening, it just takes me some time to process so much stupidity all at once.

2 months ago

humor, just, listening, me, process, stupidity, time, wit
Being a sleepy girl with a busy life is so hard.

2 months ago

busy, busy life, exhaustion, girl, hard, humor, life, sleepy, sleepy girl, struggle
I’m 45% coffee, 40% wine and 6% cheese.

2 months ago

40, 6, adulting, beverages, cheese, coffee, drinking, humor, percentages, wine

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

33 shares on Slack this month:

Traffic is the fault of the guy immediately in front of you.

30 shares on X this month:

Cheers to all who skipped that one dish at Thanksgiving because you just didn’t trust the person who brought it.

59 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I’m basically the human version of tangled up Christmas lights.

79 shares on X this month:

To everyone I’ve wronged this year. Next year same time, same place.

95 shares on Twitch this month:

Not to brag, but I just stood up without making a sound. Don’t be jealous.

82 shares on Reddit this month:

You don’t do laundry once a week. You do it constantly, endlessly, forever—until you die.

17 shares on TikTok this month:

Keep smiling, it makes people wonder what you’re up to.

16 shares on YouTube this month:

It takes so much energy to go inside a Walmart.

71 shares on Discord this month:

The sexual tension between me and the alternate reality I daydream about.

45 shares on Snapchat this month:

I should’ve been a crow. They get to fly around looking goth as hell and seeking retribution. Instead, I have to go to an office and work on my ‘people skills.’

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇳 has bookmarked:

I will not hesitate to use dark magic on you.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has copied:

I bet my calculator app wrapped would be pretty shameful.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has copied:

No one suddenly needs anything more than a kid whose mom has just sat down and gotten comfortable.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has viewed:

Y’all aren’t taking beautiful women to jazz clubs anymore, and that’s the problem.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has bookmarked:

It’s hard to sleep knowing that cake is in the fridge.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has shared:

Any jar is a swear jar when the lid won’t open.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has copied:

It may sound crazy but some of us are nice without hidden agendas.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has shared:

How to write complaints: “Dear customer service, first of all, you should know that I am typing this with my middle finger.”

Someone from 🇧🇭 has bookmarked:

In your 20s and 30s, you’ll start rediscovering the niche interests and hobbies you had as a kid. It’s very important you revisit them. Your younger self was actually on to something.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has bookmarked:

When gearing up for a mountain climbing adventure it is important to remember to no.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Welcome to Netflix. We have everything but what you want to watch.

Trending via WhatsApp:

I’ve been locked out of Tinder because of “unusual activity”. I must’ve got a match.

Freshly posted on X:

If bugs could talk, they would probably say things like, “What the bug?”

Spotted on Twitch:

Just found out my 84-year-old neighbour is on his own tomorrow, so I’ve just been over to collect his spare chairs to borrow.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Whoops, lost myself for about eight years there.

Just landed via X:

If I got possessed demonically, I wouldn’t even notice it. With everything else I’ve got going on.

Just shared via Facebook:

My daughter says I’m making it up! Do you remember having to carry a quarter for the payphone, just in case?

Shared recently on Pinterest:

I don’t have read receipts on my phone because why would I tell on myself like that?

Going viral on Twitch:

Why do birds love going apeshit first thing in the morning?

Making waves on Slack:

I can’t believe there was a time in my life when someone had to make me take a nap.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I’m an adult in the same way that Katy Perry is an astronaut.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Nobody defends billionaires better than dudes making $50,000 a year.

And to think I survived a global pandemic for this.

An app where you and your partner swipe left and right on restaurants until there’s a match. No talking, no negotiation. Who’s building this?

No, no, I’m listening, it just takes me some time to process so much stupidity all at once.

Being a sleepy girl with a busy life is so hard.

I’m 45% coffee, 40% wine and 6% cheese.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨