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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇹 has viewed:

Unless I say otherwise, I am always tired.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has viewed:

I’m as single as a one Dollar bill, and I don’t need any change.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has bookmarked:

Back in the day, you used to have to listen to records backwards to discover conspiracy theories.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has shared:

Why is there so much day left at the end of my energy?

Someone from 🇷🇺 has downloaded:

Adulthood is basically just trying to fall asleep at night and stay awake during the day.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has downloaded:

Science can’t explain it, but some hairs can grow up to a quarter inch overnight. Never in a good spot though.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has viewed:

“Dairy Queen” is actually the perfect drag name.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has shared:

One thing I expect that we will learn from the vibe coding era is that most ‘idea guys’ don’t actually have very good ideas.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has copied:

I have been nothing but creepy and aggressive to you. Please respond.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has bookmarked:

Wanna know a real adult life hack? Don’t tell anyone when you have a day off. Absolutely no one.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,273

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on X:

Feel like if a bunch of gays were stranded on a desert island, they’d all drop that voice thing in, like, a day.

Trending via YouTube:

Why did they call it an AI-generated picture and not a ‘fauxtograph’?

Making waves on Twitch:

I’ve never been married, but I tell people I’m divorced so they won’t think something is wrong with me.

Trending via Pinterest:

I wish I had the confidence of someone who would let themselves be tattooed in a place they can’t see.

Going bananas on Discord:

Why are they called “grammar Nazis” and not “the Gestypo”?

Live now on YouTube:

I ordered a new umbrella on Amazon and had it delivered straight to the lost and found office to maximize efficiency.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

If a government has online beef with a pop star, it has already lost.

Freshly posted on X:

Calling a lobotomy a “lobobo” to fit in with Gen Z.

Going viral on Instagram:

Nobody will know you’re stoned if you’re always stoned.

Going viral on TikTok:

Stop avoiding your banking app. Go look at what you’ve done.

I’m beginning to think that for some of you, the wheels on the bus do not go round and round.

1 week ago

Playful quote suggesting some people might be missing the point about the bus's wheels.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Oh dear passengers, seems like some of you are riding the struggle bus instead of the one with wheels that actually go round and round! 🚌😂 Remember, it's all fun and games until someone tries to reinvent the wheel…literally! 🔄🤪 #LostInTransit

beginning, bus, humor, observation, perspective, round, think, wheels

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Social Media Stars ⭐

75 shares on X this month:

You know it’s cold outside when you go outside and it’s cold.

33 shares on YouTube this month:

Everyone wants the bagel to be everything, but no one asks if the bagel needs anything.

38 shares on X this month:

I hate being around people who mistake my childlike wonder as naivety or weakness. I am simply a war general who loves to giggle.

56 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Patience is for beginners. I’d rather freak out straight away!

50 shares on Pinterest this month:

My age no longer permits me to suffer for love, so if you see me sad, it’s due to lack of money.

58 shares on Snapchat this month:

Cheesecake dislikers are attention seekers.

80 shares on Instagram this month:

If you’re a guy and you’re struggling right now, just remember nobody cares, and it does get worse.

58 shares on X this month:

I’m at the age where I understand that paying a little extra for convenience and comfort is absolutely okay.

70 shares on Twitch this month:

I suspect that you don’t lose weight during sport because of the exercise, but because you can’t eat anything during this time.

68 shares on Discord this month:

That moment when you dip your cookie in milk for too long and it breaks off, then you wonder why bad things happen to good people.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I’d never pick the lesser of two evils because that means they’re not even good at being evil either.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve never been cut in half by a magician, but I have worn jeans on Thanksgiving. Same thing.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Why do I gotta dress for success? Maybe success could be the one who puts a little more into this relationship.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Don’t let the fact that I’m deeply unserious distract you from the fact that you’re in the presence of a genius.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

This is my phone. I text back when I want to.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

“Fries or salad?” sums up every adult decision you have to make.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

No, they’re not “symptoms of depressions.” They’re Blue’s Clues.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I exaggerated on my job application and said I wanted to work for a living.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

The cool thing about being a procrastinator is, really bad ideas also don’t ever make it off the ground.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Online shopping gives me a reason to live for another 3-5 business days.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,584

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇪 has copied:

I’ve had 50 birthdays in a row without being arrested, which I’d say is an impressive streak!

Someone from 🇦🇬 has downloaded:

I just can’t watch football, there’s too much “penetration in the backfield” for me to not giggle like an immature maniac.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has downloaded:

Thank you all for attending my final rose ceremony. There will be no roses.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has shared:

Ugh, he wants to go hiking as a first date, just like Hitler.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has shared:

My guardian angel is probably preoccupied with sports betting apps and generative AI, that’s why she’s letting all these bad things happen to me.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has viewed:

If it’s a ghost ship, why does it have to be on water?

Someone from 🇫🇷 has copied:

“Are you single?” No, I’m in a hallucinationship.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has downloaded:

Cinderella was a mess. I mean, I have bad taste in men, but at least I never settled for a guy who couldn’t remember what my face looked like.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has bookmarked:

Walking up to any crime scene and whispering within the crowd, “It’s started again, hasn’t it?” then leaving.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has bookmarked:

I’ve heard that some people have kids who sleep through the night and I’d like to know if they use tranquilizers or chloroform.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

I’ve asked so many people what LGBTQ stands for. So far no one has given me a straight answer.

Shared recently on Discord:

I’m the kind of introvert who dodges phone calls but sends paragraphs in texts.

Going viral on YouTube:

I hate when I have dreams about work. I’m not getting paid to interact with these people on my time off!

Going bananas on Twitch:

Stay humble and play dumb. People reveal who they truly are when they think they are smarter than you.

Just shared via Reddit:

Why is smoking the only addiction jobs give you breaks to do? I should get 15 minutes every hour to cook up some parlays.

Breaking via X:

If sex was strictly meant for procreation, why did God make it feel so good?

Making waves on WeChat:

Ending my thesis paper with “but who cares what I think?”

Going bananas on Threads:

If I’m gonna jingle your bells, I’m definitely gonna jingle them all the way.

Just shared via YouTube:

You should be allowed to speed if good music is playing.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Idea: An app that tells you where that bruise came from.

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