Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇯 has shared:

I think adults need summer vacation. Like, let’s just close down all our jobs for three months and play outside. Please. I’m so tired.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has viewed:

I swear the air gets heavier around 6 p.m. on Sundays. You can feel the Microsoft Teams energy approaching.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has downloaded:

I’m at the stage in life where I stay out of arguments. Even if you say 1+1=5, you’re right. Have fun.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has copied:

Look away from your laptop for 1 second, and MS Teams will say you left the country.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has bookmarked:

“Nobody wants to work anymore!” Personally, I have never wanted to work.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has shared:

Just drafted the drunk text I’m going to send after one drink this weekend.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has copied:

Handing the bus driver a $50 bill and telling him “Just drive”.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has shared:

I like it when you’re reading a comic and you can tell the writer is pissed about what the last writer did to the character.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has copied:

My favorite part of fall is when the mosquitoes go back to hell.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has bookmarked:

If there is a God and He “loves” us, then explain snakes.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

298 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,567

Funny Quotes Topics

17,623

Funny Quotes Images

15,567

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,638

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on X:

I regret to inform you all that I just plan on getting hotter and weirder.

Spotted on YouTube:

My problem is I buy outfits I don’t have shoes for and shoes I don’t have outfits for.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Valentine’s Day this week. If you have a crush on me we still have time to get cards and shave.

Just landed via Instagram:

My body is in shock this morning from having to wake up early and wear hard pants.

Breaking via Instagram:

My wife is refusing to bring me a beer. That’s it, gonna text her and say “I cannot believe how lazy you are”.

Making waves on WeChat:

I stopped experimenting in bed after the great honey disaster of 2015.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Quitting my job to focus on decorating the tree.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

If you say my name three times in the mirror, I show up and kiss you on the forehead.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

That beeping of the parking assistant when you get too close to other cars. I’d like that for people.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Tinder, but for nearby people that have a printer you can use.

I’m in my 20s, but somehow I’m 16 and also 55 at the same time.

1 month ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Trying to decide between teenage angst and early bird specials! 😅🕒👟

16, 20s, 55, age, age confusion, age paradox, confusion, feeling, feeling old, feeling young, old, paradox, same, time, young

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

People tell me to just be myself like that would be a good thing.

2 months ago

advice, be myself, good, good thing, growth, humor, just, me, myself, people, personal, personal growth, sarcasm, self-identity, tell, thing
My favorite body lotion is Voltaren.

2 months ago

body, body lotion, comedy, favorite, health, humor, joke, lotion, medicine, medicine joke, pain, pain relief, relief, Voltaren
My skin is so dry it’s doing a PowerPoint presentation.

2 months ago

comedy, doing, dry, humor, joke, PowerPoint, presentation, skin
The problem with relationships these days is you don’t know if you’re the one being cheated on, or cheated with.

4 weeks ago

being, cheating, dating, days, humor, infidelity, know, problem, relationship, relationships, trust
Eat like your treadmill is watching.

2 months ago

dieting, eat, exercise, fitness, health, humor, motivation, motivation humor, treadmill, watching
All my life lessons were learned by watching people who took my advice.

2 months ago

advice, humor, irony, learned, learning, lesson, lessons, life, life lesson, observation, people, self-reflection, watching

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

74 shares on Twitch this month:

In the 80s, you could literally shrink your kids with a shrink-ray, and your wife wouldn’t divorce you. I’m pretty sure I saw a documentary film about it.

29 shares on Twitch this month:

I refuse to listen to anyone give commentary on the state of society unless it’s in a TikTok video filmed inside their car.

51 shares on WhatsApp this month:

If I was a weather man, I’d leak the weather early to pretty women.

28 shares on WeChat this month:

Sometimes being on your phone all day is your destiny.

76 shares on WeChat this month:

I want to be a garbage man, so I only have to work one day a week.

48 shares on Discord this month:

Every citizen over 18 should be eligible to be drafted into the Postal Service.

17 shares on Snapchat this month:

Enjoy it now because you’re only going to get older and fatter.

72 shares on Twitch this month:

Today, I used a wire I’ve kept in my box of cables since 2011. Please applaud.

87 shares on Pinterest this month:

Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here making love.

95 shares on WeChat this month:

If I win the lottery, no one around me will be broke, and I truly mean that. I will move to a wealthy neighborhood.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇪 has copied:

Forgetting how to clean the dishes and shooting them with a gun.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has downloaded:

I wish there were an option to turn off the Wi-Fi connection for WhatsApp only.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has viewed:

I don’t run from my problems. I sit on my couch, play on my phone, and ignore them like all other adults.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has bookmarked:

After 30, an all-nighter is not getting up to pee.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has copied:

I was guest-starring on The Love Boat when you woke me up. You’re dead to me.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has downloaded:

There should be a three-day weekend: one day to do nothing, one day to do something, and one day to do laundry.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has viewed:

In your twenties, there may be love. It’s very important to ignore this love and pursue a master’s instead.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has shared:

Glasses don’t make you look smart, everyone knows you had to fail a test to get them.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has downloaded:

Therapy is basically me saying, “I did a thing,” and my therapist saying, “Yay, good job!”

Someone from 🇩🇰 has viewed:

I’d like to place an order for a large kiss and an extra-long hug.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Slack:

I think it’s time I find myself a new inspiration, asking myself “what would Batman do?” gets me in too much trouble.

Seen just now on Twitch:

I like my Jims slim and my chances fat.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

The feminine urge to open a coffee shop that’s also a library, a bakery, and a flower shop.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

I accidentally hit a parked car, so I left them a note that said “next time it will be you”.

Trending via Slack:

Friends with consequences.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

The sexual tension between me and the alternate reality I daydream about.

Seen just now on Discord:

I can do anything, as long as there’s a looming deadline and serious consequences.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Don’t hate me, date me!

Making waves on LinkedIn:

If I ever find out who stole my identity, I’ll pay all their debts and ruin their credit score just for fun.

Seen just now on X:

Maybe coffee is addicted to me?

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I’m in my 20s, but somehow I’m 16 and also 55 at the same time.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

People tell me to just be myself like that would be a good thing.

My favorite body lotion is Voltaren.

My skin is so dry it’s doing a PowerPoint presentation.

The problem with relationships these days is you don’t know if you’re the one being cheated on, or cheated with.

Eat like your treadmill is watching.

All my life lessons were learned by watching people who took my advice.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨