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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇻 has viewed:

Someone from 🇪🇬 has bookmarked:

Asking my boyfriend if he would still date me if an alien had done experiments on me that killed me but, as a gesture of kindness, replaced me with a perfect replica, and he was the only one who knew.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has bookmarked:

I just want a bar where I can pour my own drink, have music at a normal volume, and there are no people, and it’s my house.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has downloaded:

Do the people who make chairs know what humans look like, or nah?

Someone from 🇭🇷 has downloaded:

Imagine falling in love with me then finding out I’m a slow walker.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has bookmarked:

The only talent I have is spending more than I bring in.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has bookmarked:

Don’t talk to me unless you are a ham sandwich.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has bookmarked:

Every time I have to leave the house and be around people I remember why I hate having to leave the house and be around people.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has bookmarked:

Once when I was exercising, I realized that I was allergic to it. I was out of breath, sweating and my heart was racing.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has shared:

I was having a great Friday until I found out it was Thursday.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

240 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,509

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,509

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,256

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via TikTok:

You never realize how long a minute is until you’re doing cardio.

Just shared via Instagram:

Before the internet, going viral meant your drawing made it to the fridge, and your sibling was furious.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

I’m the friend who shows up with a shovel and an alibi.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

If you love a friend, let them go. If they come back with coffee, it was meant to be.

Live now on Facebook:

I’m actually breaking generational curses by surviving my 20s without marrying a man who hates me.

Breaking via Threads:

I’m a red flag, but the material is quality.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

I remember when I was broke… I’m still broke, that’s why I remember so well.

Going viral on X:

Men be like, “I want you.” Yeah, to suffer.

Making waves on Threads:

Being a sleepy girl with a busy life is so hard.

Broadcasted on Threads:

The thing I hate most about my stationary bike is having to pick it up and turn it around for the return trip.

I’m now at the age where happy hour is a nap.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Who needs shots when you can have nap shots, am I right? 🍸💤 Age is just a number, but a good nap is pure happiness! 😄💤"

age, happy, happy hour, hour, humor, life, life stage, nap, relaxation, stage, where

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

In your 20s and 30s, you’ll start rediscovering the niche interests and hobbies you had as a kid. It’s very important you revisit them. Your younger self was actually on to something.

0

1 week ago

20s, 30s, actually, childhood, growth, hobby, important, interest, interests, kid, niche, niche interest, personal, personal growth, rediscovery, self, self-discovery, something, start, thirty, twenty, younger, younger self
Females be cheating in healthy relationships, but are faithful in toxic ones.

0

6 months ago

cheating, dating, faithfulness, female, fidelity, healthy, healthy relationship, humor, irony, ones, relationship, relationships, toxic, toxic relationship
I’m optimistic, in a pessimistic way.

0

2 months ago

humor, irony, mindset, optimistic, outlook, pessimistic
Adding geologist to my resume after hitting rock bottom.

0

2 months ago

after, bottom, career, geologist, hitting, humor, motivation, pun, resume, rock, rock bottom, self-improvement
First date idea: you bring me coffee in bed, and we snuggle all morning.

0

2 months ago

bed, bring, coffee, cozy, date, date idea, first date, idea, me, morning, romantic, snuggle
I’m gonna turn all this pain into something beautiful, like a poorly timed joke that makes everyone feel weird.

0

2 months ago

awkwardness, beautiful, creativity, emotion, everyone, feel, humor, joke, pain, poorly, something, transformation, turn, weird

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

81 shares on Facebook this month:

All my life lessons were learned by watching people who took my advice.

57 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Apparently you’re not supposed to announce that there’s been a death in the family every time you kill a houseplant.

92 shares on Reddit this month:

Today I started gardening. I planted myself in front of the TV and I sat there the entire day.

53 shares on Pinterest this month:

When I’m not posting or returning messages, just know that I’m probably out doing superhero shit.

43 shares on X this month:

Born to be a hater, forced to understand your perspective.

55 shares on Instagram this month:

I’m doing a terrific job of not getting anything done today.

63 shares on X this month:

Sometimes you just need a Saturday to sleep all day and do absolutely nothing.

74 shares on X this month:

When I tell a joke that doesn’t land, I follow up with a worse one to make my audience realize how good they had it with the first joke.

66 shares on Snapchat this month:

Coffee is better when you have no work.

66 shares on Threads this month:

Your honor, I was under the impression it was hammer time.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇹 has bookmarked:

There are people who leave comments on porn videos.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has bookmarked:

I hate it when people threaten to come over. Now I’ve got to do 2 years of housework in 30 minutes.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has viewed:

If you give a man a fish, that fish is basically gone. Way to lose your fish.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has downloaded:

I always do my best sleeping in the 10 minutes before my alarm goes off.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has bookmarked:

THRILLED to announce I did an Ironman this weekend! Attended 3 social gatherings in 3 days.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has shared:

The day I start waking up early it’s over for you all.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has shared:

I won’t rest until a cure for insomnia is found.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has downloaded:

New COVID variant tries to sell you an extended auto warranty.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has copied:

There is a giant spider on my dash so I’m going to have to buy a new car now.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has downloaded:

Amazing if accurate: bleeding money.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Instagram:

I might look like I have my life together, but that’s only because the mess is out of the camera frame.

Freshly posted on Discord:

If it’s one thing we’ve learned hiking, it’s the early bird that gets the face full of spiderwebs.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

With a lollipop in one hand and a dandelion in the other, concentration is very important, as every summer child knows.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Training a cat is very easy. After a few days, you do what she wants.

Going viral on Threads:

Revenge is a dish best served by cutting a sandwich horizontally instead of diagonally.

Just landed via TikTok:

Dog barking like an angry baby, baby crying like an angry dog.

Going bananas on Reddit:

Cheating before AI required a level of effort that you ended up learning something by default.

Just shared via TikTok:

I have no idea how people meet at the gym. I turn into a disgusting, angry swamp witch every time I exercise.

Going bananas on Slack:

(Most depressed guy you’ve ever met) I’m doing pretty good.

Just shared via Discord:

Want to lose weight for the summer? Don’t worry, just check in your luggage at the airport. You’ll never see those pounds again.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I’m now at the age where happy hour is a nap.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

In your 20s and 30s, you’ll start rediscovering the niche interests and hobbies you had as a kid. It’s very important you revisit them. Your younger self was actually on to something.

Females be cheating in healthy relationships, but are faithful in toxic ones.

I’m optimistic, in a pessimistic way.

Adding geologist to my resume after hitting rock bottom.

First date idea: you bring me coffee in bed, and we snuggle all morning.

I’m gonna turn all this pain into something beautiful, like a poorly timed joke that makes everyone feel weird.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨