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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇯 has copied:

The most embarrassing thing in the world is when you make a fool of yourself in front of a baby and it doesn’t laugh.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has downloaded:

You can never really “own” earbuds. You just have to appreciate the time you had together.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has viewed:

Justice is a dish best served cold. If it were served warm, it would be just water.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has copied:

I might be annoying, but at least my lock screen isn’t a selfie.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has shared:

Why would I want a memory pillow? Sleep is where I go to forget.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has shared:

The first pyramid scheme was when the Egyptians took credit for the pyramids that were clearly built by aliens.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has viewed:

No more relationships for me; the last one was an embarrassment to my gangsta.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has bookmarked:

Roses are red. Blue got me thinking. I reckon it’s time for some excessive day drinking…

Someone from 🇵🇾 has shared:

Sarah Connor would be awfully disappointed in us all, letting this Grok into our lives.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has downloaded:

I told my psychiatrist I’ve been hearing voices lately. He told me I don’t have a psychiatrist.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2251 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,413

Funny Quotes Topics

15,120

Funny Quotes Images

12,413

18 minutes ago

3,430

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Discord:

My credit score is a family of raccoons hissing over a McRib.

Shared recently on Telegram:

What a bleak life it must be if you’ve never had a drink shoot through your nose when you laugh.

Making waves on Discord:

There could be a ghost aggressively breakdancing beside you right now and you’d have no idea.

Spotted on Threads:

Well, maybe grass should touch me for once. How about that?

Going viral on YouTube:

She took all my money, called me fat, AND stabbed me in the arm. I hate doctor appointments.

Going viral on Instagram:

Replying to all emails with “ya think?”.

Reported on Slack:

Crying at my desk while also finding time to cry in the shower makes for a healthy work-life balance.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Embattled politicians resign saying they want to spend more time with their families. Do their families get a say in this?

Making waves on Snapchat:

I did not attend his funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

If you see this, straighten your back, you banana-shaped mess.

I’m now at the age where sitting cross-legged on the floor is punishable by about three days of full-body paralysis.

6 months ago

I’m now at the age where sitting cross-legged on the floor is punishable by about three days of full-body paralysis.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Oh, the joys of aging! 🧓 That moment when sitting cross-legged feels more like a risky yoga pose than a casual seating choice. 🧘‍♂️ The floor suddenly seems to have turned into a secret trap of full-body paralysis waiting to strike! Better grab a chair and some ice packs just in case. ❄️😆

age, cross-legged, days, floor, full-body, getting, getting older, humor, limitations, older, paralysis, physical, physical limitations, sitting, where

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

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Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2251 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,413

Funny Quotes Topics

15,120

Funny Quotes Images

12,413

18 minutes ago

3,436

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇷 has downloaded:

How much chocolate is too much chocolate before it is technically no longer a salad?

Someone from 🇫🇷 has copied:

I’m not sure how long my body can handle this “getting out of bed early in the morning” nonsense.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has bookmarked:

Now that I’m in my mid-forties, I think I’ll take up parkour.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has shared:

People who don’t admit their mistakes disgust me. I would absolutely admit to a mistake if I had ever made one.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has bookmarked:

Moment of silence for those who received mugs that aren’t microwave- and dishwasher-safe.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has copied:

In the 80s, if you woke up feeling thirsty, you could drink some of your waterbed.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has downloaded:

If you tell me to watch until the end, the end better be in five seconds.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has downloaded:

God invented war so that Americans can learn geography.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has bookmarked:

It’s beginning to cost a lot like Christmas.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has viewed:

If you’re cheering for the stormtroopers, we cannot be friends.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Reddit:

What we need is more companies making hot sauce. I need 900 more ways to taste a thing that tastes exactly like all the other ones.

Shared recently on Instagram:

This tape doesn’t even taste like scotch.

Shared recently on Discord:

Those astronauts that just landed? They should be greeted by chimpanzees on horses.

Shared recently on TikTok:

“What’s love?” Grandma sliding money into my hand like a drug dealer. Yeah, man, that’s love.

Spotted on Facebook:

Not wearing glasses anymore, I’ve seen enough.

Reported on Reddit:

After weeks of using an anti aging cream, I can now proudly say: I now have very well-maintained wrinkles.

Just landed via WeChat:

Every day is leg day when you’re running from your problems.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

I have been nothing but creepy and aggressive to you. Please respond.

Spotted on TikTok:

And no thanking Jesus unless he actually shows up at the ceremony.

Shared recently on Instagram:

After a vacation, I usually return to work with a fresh, reenergized hatred for my job.

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