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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇪 has downloaded:

That uncle or aunt who kept their distance from the rest of the family will start making more sense as you get older.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has downloaded:

I’m at my most math when I solve a problem while creating three new ones.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has shared:

The only traditional costume people around me wear is sweatpants.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has downloaded:

If you’re a dude and you’re having a bad day, just remember, no one cares.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has shared:

You can never really “own” earbuds. You just have to appreciate the time you had together.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has bookmarked:

Paid my mortgage so don’t ask me to come out. I’m getting my money’s worth.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has viewed:

Guilty pleasure? Why would I ever feel guilty about pleasure.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has copied:

Making a record-breaking number of bad choices today, I’m really proud of myself.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has shared:

What does my tattoo mean? It means I couldn’t be trusted with $200 when I was 18.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has shared:

I always wonder who makes a more stupid face: women putting on make-up or men shaving?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,598

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on TikTok:

Grandmas be like: Imma stay for a few days and reset your children back to factory settings.

Going viral on Snapchat:

“I’m disgusted by how many of you still use Spotify. I use a fair trade, ethically conscientious mom-and-pop platform called Apple Music.”

Just shared via Telegram:

My passport probably thinks I’m in prison.

Seen just now on Instagram:

I was going to go for a run, then realized I could just run my mouth on here.

Going viral on X:

If you’re feeling a little uneasy about the state of global geopolitics, remember to spend as much time on your phone as possible. The more information you ingest as you scroll, the calmer you will become.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

I’m beginning to think that for some of you, the wheels on the bus do not go round and round.

Seen just now on Messenger:

The older I get, the more I start to understand the appeal of birdwatching as a hobby. I do find myself watching these little troublemakers quite often.

Spotted on TikTok:

“Devil’s advocate” implies the existence of heaven’s prosecutor.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

(guy who’s not even that into you) I love you.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

The two types of video games are kill everything that moves and Microsoft Excel.

I’m only staying up until midnight on New Year’s to watch that bloody year die.

Humorous text about staying up late to bid farewell to the passing year.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
Here's hoping the year trips on the way out! 🎉🥂😅

, , , , , , , , , , ,

Keep the laugh going 😂

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

62 shares on Threads this month:

Blowing over it is also dusting.

34 shares on TikTok this month:

Time is precious, waste it wisely.

36 shares on Messenger this month:

I’m so desperate for a vacation that at this point I’d spend an all inclusive week at Jurassic Park.

82 shares on YouTube this month:

Weekends now feel like short commercial breaks in a stressful movie.

39 shares on Instagram this month:

What career is most compatible with the unemployed lifestyle?

10 shares on Pinterest this month:

I’m disgusted by the amount of nudity on Netflix these days. There’s hardly any. What am I even paying for?

51 shares on Threads this month:

Inventor of pink lemonade: yes, exactly the same, but cute and for the girls.

99 shares on Reddit this month:

We all need to put the phone down, or it’s over for civilization.

29 shares on Facebook this month:

Caffeine isn’t cutting it anymore. I need to eat a gun.

82 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Never share a secret with a clock. Because time will tell.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Remember that your face is literally a combination of hundreds of generations of people who fell in love!

7 folks are currently checking 👀

99% of celebrating your birthday as an adult just consists of texting back “thanks so much”.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Never trust someone who can eat 24/7 but is still skinny.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve never met a garlic bread I didn’t get on with.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Did you ever buy a pack of underwear, take them out, and think, wow, these are huge… then try them on, and they fit perfectly?

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Leave me alone, man. I’m just living my life like a candle in the wind.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I lied, there is no sex. You’re helping me repot plants.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Can’t think of a single time the MGM lion advanced the plot of the movie in any way. Just needless jump scare.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s called the Summer Olympics so one of the events should be running in flip flops to catch the ice cream man.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Aliens probably lock their doors when they fly past Earth.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,289

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇬 has copied:

Grateful for independence mostly because British food is gross.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has viewed:

Them: You post a lot. What am I supposed to do here – fold laundry on the timeline?

Someone from 🇮🇹 has downloaded:

Perks of dating me: you will be the hot one.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has bookmarked:

Why do I have to take care of this idiot (me) every single day? Can’t she do anything on her own?

Someone from 🇧🇼 has copied:

The pointless tidy-up before a play date.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has viewed:

Having someone sing you to sleep is so comforting, until you realize you are the only one in the room.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has viewed:

My dad’s handwriting makes a pharmacist look like a calligrapher.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has copied:

This meeting could have been an oil painting.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has copied:

I’m just a Whole Foods girl on a Walmart budget.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has shared:

Avoid calls from pesky bill collectors by not paying your phone bill.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Snapchat:

First date idea: we deactivate your Instagram.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

If life was a video game, right now would be the time where I randomly press buttons because I don’t know what to do.

Just shared via Slack:

I’m not talking to my husband and I don’t think he even knows it.

Freshly posted on Threads:

I need a chiropractor for my brain.

Just landed via Instagram:

Gatekeeping how insanely handsome I am by looking like total shit all the time.

Shared recently on Instagram:

I’ve finally found out what chronology is. And it’s about time.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Gotta find someone you’re thermostatically compatible with. You can’t be a 74 dating a 62.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

I hate it when someone asks me what I did yesterday. I don’t know. Breathed a lot, probably got mad at something … sighed heavily. The list goes on.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

Labubu?! Sounds like a name picked mid-sneeze!

Just landed via Twitch:

Hawk o the mornin tuah

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