Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇱 has bookmarked:

You can’t convince me that 2020 didn’t open a portal to hell that we’re still living in.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has bookmarked:

I can’t take people who pronounce “gnocchi” correctly seriously.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has shared:

I’m not a perfectionist. I’m more of a good-enoughist.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has viewed:

Being the introverted hopeless romantic with a high sex drive is a curse.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has copied:

I highly recommend having hobbies, it distracts you from falling in love unnecessarily.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has shared:

To whoever stole my oversized clock, you owe me big time.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has shared:

They should invent a day where I don’t think.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has copied:

It’s weird how the UFO’s always seem to crash in places that only the government and military have access to.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has downloaded:

Twitter can teach you a lot of lessons. Grammar is not one of them.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has bookmarked:

When you have intense chemistry with someone, everyone else feels so bleh.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,320

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on YouTube:

Sex is cool but have you ever had a king size bed all to yourself.

Trending via YouTube:

Snaccident: eating a whole bag of Doritos in one sitting.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Super excited about a brand new week of hanging on by a thread.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

I brake for no one, except squirrels.

Just landed via WeChat:

Literally no one understands something more completely than a woman in a meeting who starts a question with “Just so I understand …”

Making waves on Discord:

I am not responsible for what my face does when you talk.

Just shared via Twitch:

When I retire, I’m going to run for office.

Just shared via WeChat:

I don’t have a favorite vampire. If you ask me, they all suck.

Going bananas on Slack:

I never argue, I just explain why I’m right.

Just landed via Reddit:

I’ve just told my doctor I have all the Monkey Pox symptoms. He asked me to swing by tomorrow.

I’m quitting my job to do topless tarot readings on the beach.

5 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Wishing you sunny forecasts and sand-free cards! 🌞🔮🏖️

beach, career, career change, change, humor, job, quitting, quitting job, reading, tarot, tarot reading, topless

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Y’all screenshot payment confirmations to make sure they don’t play with y’all too?

0

4 months ago

confirmation, digital, digital transaction, funny question, media, money, payment, payment confirmation, play, question, screenshot, social, social media, sure, too, transaction, trust
Piñatas are a fun way to intentionally maim the guests at your party.

0

2 months ago

activity, celebration, fun, guests, humor, maim, party, piñata
You ever get into such a weird mood you have to put yourself on house arrest for a couple days?

0

2 months ago

arrest, couple, couple days, days, ever, house, house arrest, humor, isolation, mood, put, self-imposed, weird, weird mood, yourself
Imagine if spiders giggled when they ran away from us.

0

2 months ago

anxiety, away, creature, fear, giggle, humor, imagine, ran, run, spider, us
I’ve learned the best way to find something that I’ve lost is to buy a replacement one, to make the lost one spontaneously appear.

0

2 weeks ago

appear, best, buy, finding, humor, irony, item, learned, lesson, life, life lesson, lost, lost item, problem, problem-solving, replacement, solving, something, spontaneous
At the airport, and a wife asked her husband, “Where are our seats?” and he responds, “In the airplane.”

0

3 months ago

airplane, airport, asked, humor, husband, misunderstanding, seat, seats, travel, where, wife

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

46 shares on Facebook this month:

Even my imaginary friend got bored and left me a note saying ‘we should see other people’

18 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Did you guys hear about the “internet”? Apparently, you can say literally anything there.

47 shares on YouTube this month:

I’m naturally funny cause my whole life is a joke.

11 shares on YouTube this month:

I’m experimenting with how many apples I need to eat a day to keep everyone away, whatever their profession.

17 shares on Telegram this month:

I have no issue with people talking in the morning. But not with me, please!

29 shares on Reddit this month:

Asking the waiter for her phone number and then texting her “can I have more coffee?” two minutes later.

28 shares on Telegram this month:

“Have you asked Chat GPT?” Have you lost your mind?

72 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Your Honor, that doesn’t sound like me.

42 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I like you because we hate the same people.

90 shares on WhatsApp this month:

We should put a tariff on being mean to me.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇭 has shared:

Honestly, how women are drawn in a manga is typically (though not always) a good clue for what demographic a manga series is.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has bookmarked:

Bought an eggplant, imma grow my own eggs.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has shared:

“I have a date with destiny.” Yeah well, I’m in a long-term relationship with the consequences of my actions.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has downloaded:

My childhood led me to believe that as an adult I’d have to contend with truth serum, lava, quicksand, trap doors, and secret passageways. So far it’s mostly been weight gain and existential dread.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has viewed:

Just found out that rock bottom has a basement.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has shared:

AI could never steal company time the way I do.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has downloaded:

I never wanted to become one of those adults who just find the music of the younger generation annoying. Nobody could have guessed that the music was just annoying.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has bookmarked:

“You’re always sleeping,” God forbid a woman wants to be unconscious.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has shared:

Uber sends notifications like “Hey, want to take an Uber right now?” No thanks, buddy. It’s more for when I need to go somewhere.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has viewed:

If you stand too close to me in the check out line, you may as well pay for my stuff while you’re breathing down my neck.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Imagine the carnage at an IKEA team building event.

Trending via Telegram:

Went to bed with wet hair and woke up looking like I might know a lot about astrophysics.

Spotted on WeChat:

There is nothing like a little tomato soup to soothe the soul, even if it’s cold, over ice, with a celery stalk and vodka.

Making waves on Reddit:

When life closes a door, just open it again. It’s a door, that’s how they work.

Spotted on TikTok:

Pouring rain, football on TV, empty house; the stuff dreams are made of.

Seen just now on WeChat:

I knew school was a scam when my business teacher didn’t own a business, and my PE teacher was fat.

Trending via Instagram:

You’ll never realize how crazy you really are until you fall in love.

Spotted on WeChat:

I am writing a book about reverse psychology. Please don’t buy it.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Sorry, I’m late. Time isn’t real, and I’m not convinced I am either.

Breaking via WeChat:

Just got my steps in by avoiding someone I know.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I’m quitting my job to do topless tarot readings on the beach.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Y’all screenshot payment confirmations to make sure they don’t play with y’all too?

Piñatas are a fun way to intentionally maim the guests at your party.

You ever get into such a weird mood you have to put yourself on house arrest for a couple days?

Imagine if spiders giggled when they ran away from us.

I’ve learned the best way to find something that I’ve lost is to buy a replacement one, to make the lost one spontaneously appear.

At the airport, and a wife asked her husband, “Where are our seats?” and he responds, “In the airplane.”

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨