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Commentary:
Ah, the good old days of manual blocking! Back in my day, no need for fancy buttons or technology, just good ol' elbow grease and determination! 💪🤣 #VintageBlockingTechniques

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Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I briefly stepped away from social media to get an idea of what else is going on in the world. For instance, I didn’t realize I was still married.

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2 months ago

awareness, check, humor, idea, life, life update, marriage, married, media, reality, reality check, relationship, social, social media, surprise, update, world
Getting up early would be easier if we could keep our eyes closed.

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2 months ago

closed, early, easier, eyes, getting, humor, keep, sleep, struggle, waking
Forget the alarm clock. Just give me the smell of bacon and coffee.

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2 months ago

alarm, alarm clock, bacon, breakfast, clock, coffee, food, forget, give, just, me, morning, smell, wake, wake up
If Dracula had a cat, she’d be the one sleeping in the coffin.

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2 months ago

cat, coffin, Dracula, humor, pet, shed, sleep, sleeping, vampire
The only time anyone should watch the news is to study how psychological manipulation works on the general public.

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2 months ago

General, humor, manipulation, news, only, psychological, psychological manipulation, public, should, study, time, watch, works
Every morning I wake up and think I have a hangover, but then I realize I didn’t drink, and this is just how I feel now.

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2 months ago

drink, every, feel, feeling, hangover, humor, i, just, morning, realize, self-deprecating, think, wake, wake up

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

65 shares on Instagram this month:

Dear people, who drive without music playing, what do you do with your brain?

36 shares on TikTok this month:

“Nah.” – everyone with an office job, from the Monday after Thanksgiving until January 2nd.

40 shares on Pinterest this month:

I just learned the professional way to say “I told you so”: “This was identified early on as a likely outcome.”

61 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Odd—my boss told me to meet him at the abandoned quarry at midnight for my performance evaluation.

24 shares on Telegram this month:

Yeah, I work at the fart bar. Yup. I’m a fartender. Farts on me tonight!

80 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I love my new crockpot. Now we can wait longer to eat my horrible cooking.

14 shares on YouTube this month:

I shouldn’t have to go to work if it’s rainy. I should get to stare out the window all day like a cat.

42 shares on Pinterest this month:

I’m not addicted to Twitter. I’m just a really good listener so I want to know what everyone has to say.

31 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I want to be cuddled, but I also want to be left alone. Being crazy is hard.

40 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Yes, I was behind the DJ booth, but only as a cultural anthropologist.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇻 has bookmarked:

Jesus spent his time among the mentally ill, the poor and unemployed, the prostitutes. So, in a way, by being on Twitter, we’re like Jesus.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has copied:

I think Australians should have to go three rounds in the ring with a kangaroo before they eat him.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has shared:

Please hesitate to get in touch with me.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has viewed:

Studies show young people are having less sex than previous generations. I knew I was ahead of my time.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has bookmarked:

If I’m out drinking and “Push It” starts playing, take me home immediately.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has viewed:

The heart wants what it wants, but it’s not the only organ that has a vote.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has downloaded:

Everyone thinks they won’t be that couple that goes from ‘everything you do is a turn-on’ to ‘you’re breathing too loud,’ but they will be, oh, they will be.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has bookmarked:

Have you ever noticed that when you step on someone’s foot, they open their mouth? It’s like a folding trash can.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has shared:

Whoever came up with the name wallpaper really nailed it.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has viewed:

You know you’re getting old when you clean the house to the music you used to go out to.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Discord:

Did you guys know that you can actually do whatever you want all the time?

Trending via Slack:

When your children are teenagers, it’s important to have a dog so that someone in the house is happy to see you.

Going bananas on WeChat:

Accidentally manifested an emotionally intelligent man that is hot and can cook. We’re currently staring at each other.

Just landed via Instagram:

I’m so high at Home Depot right now, and I have to ask where the hose at. And I know I’mma laugh when I do.

Going viral on Threads:

Driving behind a salt truck on a snowy day is a Midwest police escort.

Trending via YouTube:

Feels like if cicadas are allowed to just sit in a tree and scream, I should also be.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

At what age do I delete Snapchat?

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Finally it’s Friday and I can go out. I’m putting the garbage out and I’ll be right back.

Breaking via Threads:

You can’t boss me around. You’re not my bladder.

Spotted on TikTok:

Marriage is where you gasp while your husband is driving, and he gets super annoyed over and over.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I’m so old, I used to block people by simply holding the door shut.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I briefly stepped away from social media to get an idea of what else is going on in the world. For instance, I didn’t realize I was still married.

Getting up early would be easier if we could keep our eyes closed.

Forget the alarm clock. Just give me the smell of bacon and coffee.

If Dracula had a cat, she’d be the one sleeping in the coffin.

The only time anyone should watch the news is to study how psychological manipulation works on the general public.

Every morning I wake up and think I have a hangover, but then I realize I didn’t drink, and this is just how I feel now.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨