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Ah, the good old days of manual blocking! Back in my day, no need for fancy buttons or technology, just good ol' elbow grease and determination! 💪🤣 #VintageBlockingTechniques

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Trending Funny Quotes 👇

They’re putting me through the penny flattening machine at the zoo.

1 month ago
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You ask for a Swedish massage and then get mad when I roll meatballs on your back.

1 month ago
ask, back, expectation, funny situation, humor, i, joke, mad, massage, meatball, roll, situation, surprise, Swedish, Swedish massage
Life hack: Confuse your doctor by putting on gloves at the same time he does.

1 month ago
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I might look calm, but in my head I’ve punched you in the face three times.

2 months ago
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Never make a promise you can’t keep rescheduling.

1 month ago
commitment, expectations, humor, keep, never, planning, procrastination, promise, rescheduling
This is a horrible time in history to be a decent human being.

1 month ago
being, commentary, decent, decent human, existential, existential humor, history, horrible, horrible time, human, humor, irony, social, social commentary, time

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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Someone from 🇲🇰 has bookmarked:

There are people that make their bed every morning and people who think it’s a waste of time, and then they marry each other.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has copied:

It’s cool that women want me, but it makes me sad that fish fear me.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has bookmarked:

Normalize talking to people in the gym who have earbuds in, they love that.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has copied:

I used to be cool, but now I just can’t wait to get on the couch by 7 p.m., in my pajamas, with a quilted blanket.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has shared:

I’m not feeling very worky today.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has viewed:

Decorated the house across the street so I can look out the window and enjoy my handiwork.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has copied:

Stop blaming everyone for all your problems. Pick one person you hate and blame them for everything.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Facebook:

You don’t scare me, you’re not my ID photo.

Just shared via Discord:

I wanna marry someone funnier than me, but sadly, I am the funniest.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Men invented pool tables so they could watch each other bend over.

Going viral on TikTok:

What a lot of people don’t understand about mountain climbing is: don’t do that!

Seen just now on Reddit:

If anything goes wrong today, just dramatically whisper, “The prophecy has been fulfilled,” and walk away.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

It’s been so long since I had sex last, went jogging in flip flops just to remember the sound.

Shared recently on Facebook:

It’s so hot out here, I saw a bird blowing on a worm before he ate it.

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Activity Log ✨

I’m so old, I used to block people by simply holding the door shut.

They’re putting me through the penny flattening machine at the zoo.

You ask for a Swedish massage and then get mad when I roll meatballs on your back.

Life hack: Confuse your doctor by putting on gloves at the same time he does.

I might look calm, but in my head I’ve punched you in the face three times.

Never make a promise you can’t keep rescheduling.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

I don’t get involved in anyone’s business, let alone their drama. You should try it.

Using my one phone call to call Santa.

I can handle most things in life, but hearing people chew isn’t one of them.

Journaling was the most useless thing l ever attempted. Not only am I still suffering but now there’s evidence.

Weekends are getting shorter and shorter. You blink and it’s already Sunday 5pm.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

I avoid those club cameras like my life depends on it.

Oh, to be a rich, beautiful woman in her big car, driving to buy overpriced groceries to stock up her breathtaking kitchen in her gorgeous house.

Men, why do you still have the boxes your electronics came in?

Not right now. I’m manifesting.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

When I like a woman, I start to gather gifts for her like a squirrel hoarding nuts.

A good substitute for love and and personal fulfillment is a big bowl of fries.

Even wild things have slow mornings.

Not to brag but this cashier is checking me out.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

“You never text back.” No, I be reading texts from the notification bar, then forget to text back.

I don’t think inside the box and I don’t think outside the box. I don’t even know where the box is.

What archaeologists are really looking for is a hand digging back.

They should invent a day where I don’t wonder why.

Women’s skincare is so confusing. Am I supposed to look shiny and sweaty, or matte like cement?

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I’m so old, I used to block people by simply holding the door shut.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

They’re putting me through the penny flattening machine at the zoo.

You ask for a Swedish massage and then get mad when I roll meatballs on your back.

Life hack: Confuse your doctor by putting on gloves at the same time he does.

I might look calm, but in my head I’ve punched you in the face three times.

Never make a promise you can’t keep rescheduling.

This is a horrible time in history to be a decent human being.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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