Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇪 has bookmarked:

Someone from 🇵🇬 has shared:

Thinking of becoming the “where’s my hug” guy in prison.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has copied:

I need to know the brand of toothbrush my neighbor has. I hear it buzzing sometimes an hour at a time and she’s clearly enjoying it.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has shared:

It’s true that I’ve been through the desert on a horse with no name, but for my return trip, I rented a camel named Carl.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has viewed:

Lie during your job interview because they’re lying to you about their great work environment.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has bookmarked:

“Are you busy tomorrow?” My dear, that entirely depends on the rest of the information you’re about to give me.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has downloaded:

Y’all ever withheld good news so that it remains untouched by negativity?

Someone from 🇭🇺 has downloaded:

No place in this world is as dark as my archived chats on WhatsApp.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has copied:

An escape room, but it’s a bean bag chair in a hammock on a water bed in a bouncy house and you’re over 40. Good luck!

Someone from 🇸🇳 has bookmarked:

If you want to be sure that you never forget your wife’s birthday, just try forgetting it once.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,460

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on YouTube:

The 80s were wild, man. You had bands naming themselves after predatory cats with hearing problems.

Seen just now on TikTok:

I hate the saying: “Get up, the sun is shining!” What am I supposed to do? Photosynthesis?

Broadcasted on Threads:

You can eat cheesecake for breakfast if you want to. No one can stop you. The police can’t even stop you.

Trending via Threads:

Why does everyone force introverts to leave their comfort zone, but no one forces extroverts to shut up for a while?

Just landed via WeChat:

At the self-checkout, I make small talk with myself and I wish I would just shut up.

Seen just now on Messenger:

The walk of shame, except it’s me at a bowling alley walking back to sit down after I knock down zero pins with bumpers.

Going viral on Discord:

Maybe I died of Covid in 2020, and this is hell.

Freshly posted on Slack:

“It could be drugs,” I tell myself as I buy more books.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

The way Adele works for 6 months and then disappears for 7 years is very much the work-life balance I’m all about.

Broadcasted on Threads:

There are beautiful horny women (me) being forced into celibacy due to the utter lack of worthy men in existence. This is the world we are living in now.

I’m starting to understand the distant uncle.

2 hours ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When you realize you're just one family reunion away from becoming an enigma wrapped in a mystery 😅🤔🕵️‍♂️

distant, family, humor, relationship, starting, uncle, understand, understanding

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

You know you’re getting old when you have to watch shows that are in English with subtitles.

0

2 months ago

English, getting, know, old, shows, watch
The people who upload old movies to the internet are holding society together.

0

5 months ago

culture, holding, internet, movie, old, old movie, people, preservation, society, together, upload
Is ice cream for dinner a thing, because ice cream for dinner should be be a thing.

0

2 months ago

craving, cream, dessert, dinner, food, humor, ice, ice cream, idea, indulgence, meal, meal idea, should, thing
Marry the man who treats your dumb questions like they’re NASA-level problems.

0

2 months ago

communication, dumb, humor, humor in love, love, man, marriage, marry, partner, patience, problems, questions, relationships, supportive, supportive partner, understanding
Horror movies should add bloopers, so after watching the main film, you’ll be able to sleep.

0

5 months ago

able, add, after, blooper, bloopers, comedy, film, horror, horror movie, joke, main, movie, scare, should, sleep, watching
The government always waits until the last minute to prevent a shutdown, much like my approach to paying taxes.

0

2 months ago

always, approach, finance, government, humor, last, last minute, minute, much, procrastination, shutdown, ta

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

84 shares on WeChat this month:

Nothing fixes your life the way deactivating Instagram does.

78 shares on Pinterest this month:

Fun fact: The US was originally not meant to be a reality TV show.

94 shares on Pinterest this month:

Shout out to all the experts on the web who know everything there is to know about absolutely everything.

94 shares on Reddit this month:

Loving her was my second biggest mistake. Not buying Bitcoins in 2010 still remains the first.

73 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Went on a date with a guy who didn’t ask me any questions about myself, so it’s on him when he finds out about my husband.

23 shares on Telegram this month:

Tolerate the lactose already, you heathen.

58 shares on Instagram this month:

I’m at the age where any time my mom asks if I remember so-and-so from high school, the news is never good.

63 shares on WeChat this month:

You can fake a smile, but you can’t fake jazz hands.

42 shares on X this month:

I try not to post too much, to give everyone else a better chance at being seen.

60 shares on Discord this month:

Every time I blink, it’s Monday again. I can’t live like this.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇾 has viewed:

I don’t understand the phrase “You can’t have your cake and eat it” because if I have cake, what the hell else am I supposed to do with it.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has downloaded:

You didn’t lock in hard enough if you’re not feeling asexual.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has copied:

There’ll be a time someone will convince you to watch Game of Thrones. It is very important that you listen to them and watch.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has viewed:

Too shy for influencing. Too dumb for crypto. Too honest for a scam. Too lazy for 9-5. How can I make money?

Someone from 🇱🇾 has bookmarked:

Girls really only want one simple thing; and that one thing is all of your attention.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has bookmarked:

Everyone wants a goth girlfriend until she starts doing goth things.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has shared:

My muffin top has become a full blown birthday cake.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has copied:

The great thing about playing the trombone is no one knows if you’re good at it or not.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has bookmarked:

I’m the kind of crazy you weren’t warned about because no one knew this level existed.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has bookmarked:

Bro, you gotta try this high-protein Caesar salad, cold brew, air fryer, overnight oats recipe I found on Instagram.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Reddit:

Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.

Shared recently on Facebook:

I have no issue with people talking in the morning. But not with me, please!

Broadcasted on Twitch:

Messed up and threw a surprise party for my minimalist friend. Now 25 of us are hiding behind the granite orb.

Live now on TikTok:

My doctor no longer prescribes me Viagra. He just left me hanging.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

Sisters are so important. How else would my mom find out all the stuff I didn’t want her to know.

Making waves on Facebook:

Stop making eye contact with me, I can’t afford a wedding right now.

Breaking via Pinterest:

Aging isn’t even 1% as scary as whatever is going on with the people trying not to.

Trending via WhatsApp:

My favorite thing to do at the gym is stay home and eat a piece of cake.

Just landed via WeChat:

I wonder if people that fall asleep right away know that we hate them.

Just shared via Reddit:

Zombies only eat brains, so you are safe.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I’m starting to understand the distant uncle.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

You know you’re getting old when you have to watch shows that are in English with subtitles.

The people who upload old movies to the internet are holding society together.

Is ice cream for dinner a thing, because ice cream for dinner should be be a thing.

Marry the man who treats your dumb questions like they’re NASA-level problems.

Horror movies should add bloopers, so after watching the main film, you’ll be able to sleep.

The government always waits until the last minute to prevent a shutdown, much like my approach to paying taxes.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨