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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇳 has downloaded:

Super excited about a brand new week of self-sabotage.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has shared:

When they ask “how was your weekend?” answer “better than yours” and maintain eye contact.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has bookmarked:

It’s crazy windy today. Trash is blowing everywhere, so watch out for your ex.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has downloaded:

The only ‘survival horror’ game I play is called ‘getting up every day and leaving the house.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has shared:

After having received my free sample of winter, I would like to cancel my subscription please.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has bookmarked:

My daughter’s new Bluetooth karaoke mic has suddenly and mysteriously disappeared, and we are all just so, so sad that we can’t find it.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has viewed:

Imagine hating on me and I’m just in my room also hating on me.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has shared:

Prepare your kids for social media by putting their artwork on the fridge and writing a bunch of mean comments under it.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has viewed:

“Are you single?” No, I’m in a hallucinationship.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has downloaded:

“Stop overthinking.” Oh, wow. Hadn’t considered that. Solved.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,582

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Instagram:

You never know how strong you are until someone’s story runs more than 5 minutes long.

Just shared via Discord:

According to this box of macaroni and cheese, I am an entire family.

Making waves on WeChat:

My doubters will become my grouters when I remodel the bathroom of success.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

That beeping of the parking assistant when you get too close to other cars. I’d like that for people.

Just landed via Slack:

First date idea: we deactivate your Instagram.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Sunday night: Super Bowl party! Monday morning: Toilet Bowl party!

Seen just now on Telegram:

About to watch Tenet for the first time and I enjoyed it.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Please go out, have fun, have friends, make connections. That mysterious lifestyle won’t save you.

Trending via Facebook:

April Fool’s next week and still no one has asked me to be their fool.

Freshly posted on Slack:

I don’t want to do exercise, but I want to have done exercise.

I’m surviving motherhood, one teenage meltdown at a time.

Humorous quote about navigating motherhood through teenage tantrums with resilience.
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Commentary:
Sounds like you're earning a PhD in Teenage Drama Survival 😂🏆 #SurvivalSkills #MomLife

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Keep the laugh going 😂

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

96 shares on Snapchat this month:

Even my imaginary friend got bored and left me a note saying ‘we should see other people’

42 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Sorry I’m late, my song came on at the grocery store.

35 shares on Slack this month:

She’s probably just not using her phone right now for the first time ever in her whole life.

31 shares on TikTok this month:

One of the great things about being a dad is how easy it is to launder my own desire for ice cream through my children.

95 shares on TikTok this month:

People with ADHD be like “I can’t fry an egg, I got too much going on”.

44 shares on Pinterest this month:

Gravity, at all times, is trying to pull your pants down.

43 shares on Reddit this month:

I miss my kids the most when they go to bed and the mosquitoes go after me because they have no other options.

89 shares on WhatsApp this month:

It’s a shame that the know-it-alls know everything better but don’t do anything better.

95 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Therapists are like, “You don’t owe anyone anything. Except me. You owe me 250 dollars for this session.”

43 shares on WhatsApp this month:

October is the situationship of months. So briefly beautiful, but you know the horrors are imminent.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I got called “pretty” today! Well, the full sentence was “You’re pretty annoying,” but I only focus on the positive things.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

This going into the office stuff blows. Like, I seriously have to wear clothes now.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I had a dream about you. You were stupid there, too.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m either at work, going to work, coming home from work, sleeping for work, getting ready for work, or thinking about work.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Stop hating yourself for everything. Be specific.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Why can’t my career pursue me instead?

7 folks are currently checking 👀

God: “You’re all really bad at this.”

16 folks are currently checking 👀

The only sunscreen that’s 100% effective is abstinence.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Whenever you are feeling down, remember you’re the sperm that won.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

My card declined at Subway and they started eating the sandwich in front of me.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,708

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇲 has bookmarked:

I get it, drug commercials. I too like to dance while I describe all my side effects.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has downloaded:

Hey babe, wanna come over and fold me like a fitted sheet?

Someone from 🇸🇬 has bookmarked:

Vegan zombies be like: GRAINS!

Someone from 🇬🇼 has bookmarked:

I am like a wildflower, a quiet rebellion blooming through ruins and dust.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has bookmarked:

Having a nicotine addiction is basically just adding a new base layer to Maslow’s hierarchy for no reason.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has viewed:

Many fruits can be great names… but the real challenge is naming a child after a vegetable….

Someone from 🇳🇷 has downloaded:

Peeling a sweaty sports bra off counts as aerobic exercise, right?

Someone from 🇬🇳 has downloaded:

On the surface: cool as a cucumber. On the inside: squirrel in traffic.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has bookmarked:

They should invent going outside without people looking at you.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has viewed:

If I worked construction, I would always say, “It’s hammer time,” when I left for work.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Twitch:

I like listening to true crime podcasts while I clean my bathroom because I can pretend I’m destroying evidence.

Just shared via WeChat:

Don’t suffer in silence. Make it everyone’s problem.

Just shared via Messenger:

(guy who’s not even that into you) I love you.

Making waves on Telegram:

Nobody told me that when you get a husband the ears are sold separately.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

You can tell they named the aardvark early in the week and the anteater on a Friday.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Letting the sun have its way with my freckles today.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Somewhere there’s a girl ignoring 15 guys for a guy who gives her no attention.

Making waves on Slack:

Actually, you’re having a conversation with yourself. I’m just here so you don’t appear totally insane.

Just landed via Snapchat:

I don’t always seize the day. Sometimes I poke the day with my index finger and go, ew, ew, ew, ew.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

In filling out an application, where it says, “In case of emergency notify”, I put “Doctor.”

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