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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇹 has downloaded:

I’m going to sleep. Anyone want anything?

Someone from 🇫🇯 has bookmarked:

Egyptians did pretty well for a civilization that wrote entirely in emoji.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has downloaded:

Having a kid is so fun when you’re childish, like yeah, it’s my turn with the slime, boo.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has shared:

A fitness trainer showed me the proper way to inhale and exhale and then got pissed when I told her she had nice breaths.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has viewed:

Babe, is everything OK? You’ve barely accomplished anything at all in your entire life.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has bookmarked:

They’re making me do work at work.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has shared:

My superpower is keeping this couch cushion warm.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has copied:

“Mom, how did we get so rich?” your father said, “Thanks, nothing from my end,” on thousands of important Zoom meetings.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has bookmarked:

Unfortunately, I wasn’t built for casual dating, I’m only built for intense soul crushing love at first sight.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has shared:

An introvert walked into a bar. Just kidding. The introvert stayed home.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

300 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,569

Funny Quotes Topics

17,627

Funny Quotes Images

15,569

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,437

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Slack:

I hate when I forget to say something during an argument. Like, hey, let’s argue again, I got better material now.

Trending via Twitch:

Monday? But, I wasn’t even finished with Saturday yet.

Making waves on Slack:

Your child learning to say mommy is when your life begins and ends.

Making waves on Reddit:

I remember owning a mobile device as a kid, it was called my bike.

Just landed via Twitch:

Potato chips ARE vegetables! I exclaim as I tear open the third bag.

Shared recently on TikTok:

My love language is caffeine and being left alone until I’m kind again.

Making waves on Slack:

Unfortunately, you have to almost worship the ground I walk on for me to believe you’re into me.

Trending via Telegram:

By the power vested in me by Facebook, I now pronounce you unfriended and restricted. You may now kiss my butt.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Kinda sucks that the prize for washing your laundry is getting to fold your laundry.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

That bourbon chicken from the mall only tastes good on that toothpick. You order it, and it’s not the same, I swear.

In an effort to demonstrate how pointless internet debates are, please prove to me that snow is real.

In an effort to demonstrate how pointless internet debates are, please prove to me that snow is real.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
Well, trying to convince someone that snow is real in an internet debate is like trying to convince a cat that it should enjoy taking baths – it's a slippery slope filled with icy stares and frosty rebuttals. So, let's save our energy for more productive discussions, like whether pineapple belongs on pizza or not!

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

86 shares on Pinterest this month:

I only look up to people that are taller than me and really that’s about the extent of it.

66 shares on Twitch this month:

I still make time for all my favorite hobbies, like drinking, swearing, and making people feel uncomfortable.

31 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I don’t need to bring anything to a knife fight, because I don’t go to knife fights.

29 shares on Twitch this month:

The Velvet Underground probably wouldn’t have been so influential if I was at their shows with a giant magnet and pulled their guitars out of their hands.

38 shares on Twitch this month:

My life advice is always the same. Wait for karma, but take up kickboxing, just in case.

38 shares on Twitch this month:

Money can’t buy happiness, until you’re on vacation and then you realize it definitely can.

35 shares on Telegram this month:

Only a couple more days until I come home and pretend I forgot about Valentine’s Day.

17 shares on WeChat this month:

Obituaries should have clickbait titles.

62 shares on Instagram this month:

When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them.

100 shares on Snapchat this month:

Amazing how fast my addiction to my phone is cured the moment I get a phone call.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Santa Claus isn’t real. Ain’t no man checking a list twice.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Somewhere on our planet, there is someone who doesn’t care about you at this moment. It could be billions.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Trying is the first step toward failure.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

You know the trouble with real life? There’s no danger music.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Getting a girlfriend is actually very easy, you just have to spin a basketball on your finger.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

My five-year plan only requires a few acts of God.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

People who wear jeans for fun around their house have bodies buried in their backyard.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I think during winter we should also get to work less hours in a day, just like the sun.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m professionally employed and personally unhinged. Balance.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

When I like a song, I repeat it until the artist comes out and ask for water.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

300 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,569

Funny Quotes Topics

17,627

Funny Quotes Images

15,569

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,402

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇩 has viewed:

Insurance is cool because even if you have it, it still kinda feels like you don’t.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has shared:

Ten million people accused me of exaggerating today.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has downloaded:

They should invent a brain that doesn’t whisper bad things to you.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has copied:

Cleaning a house with children in it is like shoveling snow on the North Pole.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has shared:

They should invent a way to delete other people’s posts.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has copied:

One of the kids said, “Camping looks fun,” so tonight we’re watching The Revenant.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has downloaded:

If you’re bored when you’re alone, obviously you’re in bad company.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has bookmarked:

Blocking someone isn’t enough, I want them to get lice.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has copied:

That thing in video games where you have a great item so you hold onto it but never end up using it? Thats me with fruit.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has bookmarked:

A two-step guide to warning someone not to hit their head: 1. Wait until they’ve hit their head. 2. Say “Ooh, mind your head!”

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Pinterest:

The amount of inappropriate thoughts I have is a little concerning.

Spotted on Instagram:

Whoops, lost myself for about eight years there.

Shared recently on Threads:

It scares me when you stay up late, like 3 a.m., and you hear a car go down the road, like, where are you going?

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

My phone screen is brighter than my future.

Just shared via Facebook:

Gonna finish eating all these Christmas cookies so I’m no longer tempted to eat them.

Spotted on X:

Just the owls and I out here enjoying the breeze amongst the trees.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Sometimes when I get negative feedback I’m like “Hey, only I get to talk to myself that way”.

Just landed via Pinterest:

There’s not gonna be a civil war. None of us can afford to take that much time off work.

Trending via LinkedIn:

Good luck sending me mixed signals. Most the time I can’t even understand the direct ones.

Going viral on Facebook:

Not to brag, but I’m on hold and my call is important to them.

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