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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇵 has downloaded:

I enjoy long walks in the woods, but only because there’s a chance I’ll get eaten by a bear.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has viewed:

If only men knew the power “I made reservations, I’ll pick you up at 7” held instead of “I don’t know, whatever you wanna do.”

Someone from 🇱🇺 has bookmarked:

Sorry, can’t. The pears I bought a couple days ago have ripened.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has shared:

Sorry for bouncing my leg. I’m not allowed to bash my head into the walls anymore.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has downloaded:

A moment of silence for everything I have to do but am not doing.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has viewed:

You ran a half marathon? That’s really cool, I’ve almost finished a bunch of things, too.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has viewed:

Why does everyone always think that I know what I’m doing? Most of the time I watch myself in amazement and am curious to see what happens.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has copied:

At the dispensary asking which strain will stop the yearning.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has bookmarked:

My front facing camera got me looking like a failed science project.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has copied:

The human body is amazing. One half-open eye and the brain under emergency power are enough to make coffee.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

758 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,920

Funny Quotes Topics

13,890

Funny Quotes Images

10,920

55 minutes ago

3,438

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on X:

Unfortunately, you have to almost worship the ground I walk on for me to believe you’re into me.

Spotted on Messenger:

Why does tiredness on the couch not follow me to the bed?

Seen just now on Threads:

I prefer not to think before speaking. I like being as surprised as everyone else by what comes out of my mouth.

Just shared via Telegram:

“I could see myself living here,” I said, in a different city for more than 24 hours.

Live now on YouTube:

It’s that time of year again where I go to random restaurants to tell random women, “So this is why you cancelled our date?”, while they’re out with their significant others.

Going viral on Slack:

Tested positive for needing a kiss.

Just shared via Facebook:

Every Sunday is superbowel if you eat enough chili.

Seen just now on Reddit:

If I text you an accordion emoji, it means you better start acting accordingly.

Trending via WeChat:

Bob was hungry. He ripped open a new bag of tortillas only to discover a convenient, resealable opening on the other end.

Shared recently on Twitch:

You want me to attend a work meeting? The thing that killed Julius Caesar?

In an effort to demonstrate how pointless internet debates are, please prove to me that snow is real.

5 months ago

In an effort to demonstrate how pointless internet debates are, please prove to me that snow is real.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Well, trying to convince someone that snow is real in an internet debate is like trying to convince a cat that it should enjoy taking baths – it's a slippery slope filled with icy stares and frosty rebuttals. So, let's save our energy for more productive discussions, like whether pineapple belongs on pizza or not!

debate, effort, humor, internet, pointlessness, proof, real, reality, snow

Response

FuzzyNinja42

Feb 25, 2025

Well, I could send you a snowball by express delivery, but I’m a bit worried about it arriving as a water balloon, buddy! 😂💦❄ Better yet, let’s schedule a Zoom call next blizzard – you bring the hot chocolate and I’ll supply the chilly proof! ☃️☕

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

758 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,920

Funny Quotes Topics

13,890

Funny Quotes Images

10,920

55 minutes ago

3,424

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇧 has viewed:

If you love someone, let them go. If they come back with snacks, it was always meant to be.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has downloaded:

Can we start the weekend again? I wasn’t ready.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has bookmarked:

I’m at a place in my life when errands are starting to count as going out.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has bookmarked:

Just accidentally closed a tab I’ve had been meaning to read for the past 2 years.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has copied:

I used to look for monsters under the bed. Today I know they are behind some people’s fake smiles.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has downloaded:

Sometimes I want to sleep, but my brain decides to do a little tap dance through every mistake I’ve ever made, instead.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has downloaded:

Why can’t I cry money instead of tears?

Someone from 🇦🇱 has downloaded:

I’m sorry I roasted you, I was trying to flirt.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has bookmarked:

Don’t let the British accent fool you. I’m not saying anything smart.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has shared:

It’s so hot out here, I saw a bird blowing on a worm before he ate it.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Messenger:

My body is like my phone battery. Usually drained by 4pm.

Trending via Messenger:

Whenever you feel like the world is falling apart, take a deep breath and remember you’re right.

Trending via Slack:

A coffee the size of Manhattan please.

Spotted on Messenger:

My favorite military tradition is asking someone what an acronym means right after they use it, and they don’t know what it means.

Just shared via YouTube:

Being gracefully insane is the only way to survive life’s daily bullshit.

Making waves on Twitch:

Update on my fitness journey: My wife just handed me a bag of apples at the market and said, “careful, it’s heavy.”

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

Coffee: Because without it I would be a serious danger to society.

Live now on Pinterest:

The toughest part of a diet isn’t watching what you eat. It’s watching what other people eat.

Seen just now on Reddit:

If McDonald’s sold hot dogs, would you be able to, with a straight face, order a McWiener and tell them to supersize it?

Live now on Snapchat:

If you respond, “A reason for living,” when a store employee asks if they can help you find something, they will leave you alone.

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