Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇳 has bookmarked:

I don’t do “casual.” I’m like an 18th-century vampire. When I fall in love, my devotion is boundless and eternal.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has bookmarked:

I’m not always a couch potato. For instance, right now I’m a chair potato, and later I’ll be a bed potato.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has shared:

Welcome to parenting! The only hobbies you have left are the ones you can do in the bathroom.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has shared:

College is literally just you, your laptop, and your water bottle against the world.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has bookmarked:

HR has told me to stop saying ‘How stupid can you be?’ to members of staff. They’re worried it’s being taken as a challenge.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has downloaded:

I couldn’t work at a zoo. I’d have a penguin in my car by the end of the shift.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has viewed:

Went to the hairdresser today and now I look much younger. I’m thinking about going back tomorrow.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has bookmarked:

Petition to make weekends longer. Two days isn’t enough.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has copied:

Are you just gonna go with the flow until you spiral down the drain?

Someone from 🇷🇼 has copied:

Unsolicited sandwich pics.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

216 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,485

Funny Quotes Topics

17,557

Funny Quotes Images

15,485

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,374

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Slack:

My exorcist thinks we should see other demons.

Going viral on Pinterest:

You don’t know a person until you’ve seen them eat popcorn.

Making waves on Messenger:

God: “I don’t regret the Flood, but I do regret the Ark.”

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Everyone is getting idioter.

Live now on TikTok:

Jobs be asking me for 3 references, and I think I might start doing the same. Like, let me talk to 3 happy employees, please.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

I like to be alone a lot; it’s nothing personal.

Live now on Pinterest:

Eating cookies left for Santa because the cowboy was a no show.

Making waves on Twitch:

Damn, how much daylight are they trying to save? It’s dark as hell.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

“Dairy Queen” is actually the perfect drag name.

Going viral on Instagram:

Making art is making love to the world.

In the coffee shop, booing everyone who orders decaf.

5 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When you order decaf, even the coffee beans start whispering "traitor" 😂☕

booing, coffee, coffee shop, decaf, everyone, humor, shop

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

“I asked Grok.” “I asked ChatGPT.” Well, I asked R2D2, and he said you’re a loser.

0

2 months ago

AI, asked, ChatGPT, grok, humor, i, joke, loser, R2D2, robot, said, sarcasm, sci-fi, technology, well
In my defense, Your Honor, I grossly misunderstood the meaning of Boxing Day.

0

2 months ago

boxing, Boxing Day, court, day, defense, holiday, honor, humor, joke, misunderstanding
I feel like a large portion of my adult life has been looking for an adult to do my adulting.

0

5 months ago

adult, adult life, adulthood, adulting, feel, humor, i, large, life, life struggle, looking, portion, procrastination, responsibility, struggle
Breaking news is really breaking me.

0

2 months ago

breaking, breaking news, exhaustion, humor, irony, me, media, news, stress
Once I see a vein on your forehead while we arguing, I’ll let you be.

0

2 months ago

arguing, forehead, humor, i, let, once, relationship, tension, vein
You have one week to ask me to be your Valentine. Requests must be in the form of poetic verse written in your blood.

0

2 months ago

ask, blood, deadline, form, humor, me, poetic, poetic verse, relationship, request, romance, Valentine, verse, week

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

40 shares on Snapchat this month:

Well, it took several decades, but I might have finally run out of things to say.

30 shares on Twitch this month:

When phones were tied with wires, people were free. Now that phones are wireless, people are tied.

13 shares on X this month:

Anyone else who tells their pets every time they leave the house that they’ll be back soon?

61 shares on YouTube this month:

Is it fall yet? I really can’t suck my stomach in much longer.

12 shares on Threads this month:

Only after moving in together do you realize your girlfriend’s little quirks. Mine, for example, stores vegetables in the beer compartment.

73 shares on Pinterest this month:

Being abducted by aliens could be just the vacation I need right now.

90 shares on Instagram this month:

I think social media is marvellous. You type your thoughts into it, and then insane people let you know if they like them or not.

53 shares on Threads this month:

My favorite thing to do is nothing, with no one.

73 shares on Slack this month:

Life is a highway: Too many cars, not enough bathrooms.

60 shares on YouTube this month:

My childhood led me to believe that as an adult I’d have to contend with truth serum, lava, quicksand, trap doors, and secret passageways. So far it’s mostly been weight gain and existential dread.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇩 has copied:

Do not take me to an escape room. I was a c-section. Someone is gonna have to come get me.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has copied:

I lost my appetite for doing work. If you find it, you can keep it.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has bookmarked:

Don’t think of it as losing followers, think of it as frustrating bots to the point they go away.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has bookmarked:

If I had a dollar for every time someone called me fat, I’d probably just spend it on more bacon.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has copied:

Good morning to everyone who doesn’t get on my nerves.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has copied:

Grocery shopping while hungry feels like online shopping while drunk.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has shared:

Sorry I’m late, I got here as soon as I wanted to.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has shared:

My favourite thing about waking up at ridiculous o’clock is the solitude.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has shared:

Lack of sex really gets you mad at every little thing for no reason.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has downloaded:

Having leftover pizza for breakfast is an actual blessing.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on X:

Yeah, sex is cool and all, but have you ever crawled out of the worst depression of your life and got your spark back?

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

I tried being the bigger person but all it got me was type 2 diabetes.

Shared recently on Telegram:

After my death, I’ll be very busy. The list of people to whom I want to appear as a ghost is getting longer every day.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

I put the hot in psychotic.

Going bananas on Slack:

The problem with expensive things is that you tend to want them.

Trending via Threads:

If I was a microplastic, I would simply not go in the ocean or anyone’s mouth.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Police officer: please step out of your vehicle. Me: after this song, hold on.

Spotted on Facebook:

Tired of my landlord depending on my rent. Bro, get a job.

Trending via Messenger:

I was not made for a 9 to 5; I was made to eat pasta and lay in the sun like a lizard.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

In the coffee shop, booing everyone who orders decaf.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

“I asked Grok.” “I asked ChatGPT.” Well, I asked R2D2, and he said you’re a loser.

In my defense, Your Honor, I grossly misunderstood the meaning of Boxing Day.

I feel like a large portion of my adult life has been looking for an adult to do my adulting.

Breaking news is really breaking me.

Once I see a vein on your forehead while we arguing, I’ll let you be.

You have one week to ask me to be your Valentine. Requests must be in the form of poetic verse written in your blood.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨