Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • I’m just here to make you wish I wasn’t.
  • Probably the most humiliating thing that can happen when you die is that you come back as a fitted-sheet ghost.
  • People who wear jeans for fun around their house have bodies buried in their backyard.
  • I’m so single. When they ask me for an emergency contact, I put the neighbor’s dog.
  • Do not EVER text while driving. Please use the giant iPad attached to your dashboard.
  • When I’m behind a slow car, I steer my car a little to the right so the people behind me can see that it isn’t my fault.