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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇮 has shared:

Everyone’s a gangster until they turn a spoon the wrong way under running water.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has downloaded:

It’s easy to keep me happy: feed me sunshine in summer — and keep me warm in winter.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has shared:

Your secrets are safe with me. I wasn’t even listening.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has downloaded:

I need the youth to start reading. Even if it’s the tag on your underwear. Read it.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has bookmarked:

Sorry I can’t come today. My sister’s friend’s mother’s grandpa’s brother’s grandson’s uncle’s fish died, and it was tragic.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has downloaded:

When I say someone is a good doctor, it’s entirely based on the strength of their waiting room Wi-Fi.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has bookmarked:

When you really want to slap someone, do it and say, “Mosquito!

Someone from 🇲🇺 has bookmarked:

I’m an adult, but not the ‘makes positive life choices’ kind.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has downloaded:

So does everybody have a collection of grocery bags that you keep inside of a grocery bag?

Someone from 🇧🇳 has shared:

My soulmate is chocolate cake.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

243 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,512

Funny Quotes Topics

17,578

Funny Quotes Images

15,512

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,323

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Telegram:

Giving people access to the internet was a massive mistake.

Trending via YouTube:

I’m not addicted to Twitter. I’m just a really good listener so I want to know what everyone has to say.

Live now on Reddit:

People who sound like fonts: Ariana Grande. Roman Roy. Jim Courier. Lydia West. Bon Iver. Suella Braverman. Jesse Ventura.

Going bananas on Reddit:

I know sacrifice. I’m willing to pluck a few extra hairs to get to the white ones.

Trending via Discord:

Girls really only want one simple thing; and that one thing is all of your attention.

Just shared via WeChat:

Mornings would be fine if they started later.

Making waves on Messenger:

It’s so hot out, I just hydroplaned off the toilet seat at work.

Trending via Snapchat:

The next man who speaks to me will be sacrificed to the gods for a bountiful harvest.

Making waves on Pinterest:

I hate when someone you love says mean things like, “It’s time to wake up.”

Just landed via YouTube:

Neurodivergents will be like, ‘I’m so tired,’ and then refuse to sleep because they haven’t had enough me time after surviving the day.

Is he trying to pronounce “charcuterie” or is he having a stroke?

0
Is he trying to pronounce “charcuterie” or is he having a stroke?
Download image ↓

Commentary:
Oh, dear, it seems like we have a culinary conundrum! 🤔🍖 Is it a case of mispronunciation or a dramatic dining disaster in the making? 🙈🍴 Let's hope it's just a linguistic slip-up and not a medical emergency! 😅🚑 #CharcuterieConfusion

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

12 shares on Reddit this month:

Do you mind if I wear my black T-shirt covered in pet hair to your fine dining establishment?

69 shares on WeChat this month:

It’s not that I want more shoes, it’s just that they keep making them in my size.

10 shares on TikTok this month:

If my house is clean, just know I yelled at everyone for two hours first.

28 shares on Facebook this month:

I’m sorry you had a bad experience at our restaurant. To make it up to you, here is a coupon for more of our terrible, terrible food.

81 shares on Facebook this month:

I don’t drink blood to stay young. I do it mainly for the lifestyle.

32 shares on Snapchat this month:

People always love to claim that a celebrity’s death is “unexpected”, but they never actually release the data on which celebrities they expected to die that day.

33 shares on Messenger this month:

What are some beginner pieces of information for somebody just getting into knowledge?

63 shares on WeChat this month:

Not gonna lie, to this day, I don’t know the difference between gray and grey, I just wing it.

97 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Ending my thesis paper with “but who cares what I think?”

56 shares on Twitch this month:

Men will ruin your whole life then come back and like your story.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m running out of people I like.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

You seem really unhinged, we should grab coffee sometime.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Through repetition and sheer will I’ve mastered gracefully falling on my head.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Who’s going to run in movies when Tom Cruise retires?

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Breaking a heart is considered bad, but melting a heart is somehow good.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Beds are always the coziest when it’s time to get up and you don’t want to.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

The clitoris has 8,000 nerves, if you gonna get on my nerves, get on one of those.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

“OMG I love your personality,” thanks, it’s a disorder.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

The goal is to make your therapist cry.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I need someone to convince me into or out of buying a jetski. I can’t keep living in this purgatory.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

243 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,512

Funny Quotes Topics

17,578

Funny Quotes Images

15,512

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,506

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇻 has shared:

Just bought 4 pounds of cherries like I’m in some math problem.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has downloaded:

I think the bowl of ice cream I ate earlier gave me a stomach ache, so I ate a another bowl to make sure.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has copied:

An adult is a person that keeps Ibuprofen in more than one place.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has downloaded:

Don’t talk to me about regrets if you’ve never had someone’s name tattooed on you.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has viewed:

If she says “you are my world” remember there are other planets. Stay alert, kings!

Someone from 🇪🇷 has viewed:

The problem with expensive things is that you tend to want them.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has viewed:

I received a bank alert text for suspicious activity. I was buying fruit.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has bookmarked:

If you’re soft, don’t come to my house, cause my kids will roast you.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has downloaded:

Don’t come to my house unannounced. I will stare at you from my window.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has copied:

“Love is in the air.” Wrong. Microplastics.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Facebook:

In my defense, Your Honor, I grossly misunderstood the meaning of Boxing Day.

Trending via X:

Well, like I said to my television the other day, “How can these people be so stupid?!?”

Shared recently on Twitch:

I’m still tired from yesterday’s tired.

Spotted on Threads:

I didn’t ghost you, I saved you from me.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

Booked an escape room but just to get away from everyone. No plans of escaping.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

I don’t care about life on other planets. I don’t even have a life on this one.

Shared recently on Slack:

I bought my antidepressants off of Temu and now I glow in the dark.

Trending via Instagram:

Babe, are you OK? You’ve barely touched your unread books.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Welcome to adulthood: you’re always sleepy unless you’re trying to get to sleep.

Just landed via Messenger:

People should be able to call in healthy: “Look, I’m not coming into the office today. I feel really good and I don’t want to waste it on being at work.“

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