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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡» has bookmarked:

If you inject Botox into a raisin, does it turn back into a grape?

Someone from πŸ‡ΉπŸ‡³ has shared:

I’m an optimist and i understand how annoying that is.

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡Ώ has viewed:

I think I may need professional help. A chef, a butler and a maid should do it!

Someone from πŸ‡¦πŸ‡· has downloaded:

The season is back when women are 80% scarf.

Someone from πŸ‡¦πŸ‡¬ has bookmarked:

Folding laundry is like packing to stay home.

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡³ has copied:

Watering plants qualifies as a hobby.

Someone from πŸ‡ΏπŸ‡Ό has viewed:

Can’t wait to overuse the “My husband said,” “Let me phone my husband,” “I’ll ask my husband.”

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡³ has bookmarked:

Men call us β€œgold diggers” when we expect them to pay for a meal. Honey, a gold digger goes after yachts, not a piece of chicken.

Someone from πŸ‡±πŸ‡» has viewed:

Kinda miss when crushes were butterflies instead of complex emotional calculations about compatibility and red flags.

Someone from πŸ‡¦πŸ‡« has downloaded:

Cleaning your kid’s room will piss you off, cause why is my Airfryer in here?

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

243 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,512

Funny Quotes Topics

17,578

Funny Quotes Images

15,512

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,680

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Going viral on Discord:

I feel like people just come to the airport to cough.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Every weekend has two days: Saturday and It’s Monday Tomorrow.

Seen just now on Reddit:

There’s a fat man inside me dying to get out.

Trending via Telegram:

Body: Okay, sleepy time. Brain: Okay, thinky time.

Going bananas on TikTok:

If you need time alone, just announce that you need help cleaning the cats litter box.

Just shared via Instagram:

I know it’s true because the people on the internet said so.

Trending via TikTok:

I tried to scream into the abyss today but got a busy signal.

Making waves on WeChat:

Men have nice skin because they stress out everyone but themselves.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Life is a highway: Too many cars, not enough bathrooms.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Should I ever be mean and insulting, then it comes from the bottom of my heart.

It must be hard having an erectile dysfunction.

0
It must be hard having an erectile dysfunction.
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Commentary:
"Must be tough not being able to stand up to the occasion πŸ˜πŸ† #gettingtotherootoftheproblem"

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Welcome to Wordgag! πŸ˜‰βœŒοΈ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. πŸ˜‚πŸ’₯

Social Media Stars ⭐

30 shares on X this month:

I love when men remind me I’m evil because sometimes I be thinking I’m losing my spark.

31 shares on Snapchat this month:

I hope we’re good friends until we die, then I hope we can stay ghost friends, walk through walls and scare people.

87 shares on YouTube this month:

It’s important to set an alarm the first day of school, so you remember to pick up the kids.

19 shares on Threads this month:

Online shopping gives me a reason to live for another 3-5 business days.

80 shares on Facebook this month:

The most I’ve ever spent on a bottle of wine is about 45 minutes.

58 shares on Threads this month:

I’ve reached that age where I don’t have to drink to forget because it just happens naturally now.

96 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I’m always a little mean to men because, if you treat them like humans, they think you wanna sleep with them.

61 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Never in the history of calming down has anyone calmed down after being told to calm down.

91 shares on Snapchat this month:

I wish I could lose weight as easily as I lose my keys, phone, temper, and my mind.

72 shares on Discord this month:

I had too much to think last night.

Trending Topics πŸ“

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes πŸ’₯

25 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Facebook is extremely over-engineered for a birthday reminder app.

22 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Even at my most evil, I’m considerate.

5 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

I’m not lazy, I’m on energy-saving mode.

22 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Relationship status: you’d think something called a Roomba would be a better dancer.

16 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

I came home to find my boyfriend mopping the floor and my first thought was, β€œwho’d he kill?”

8 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Floppy disks are like Jesus. They died to become the icon of saving.

14 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

ASAP can also mean as slow as possible.

14 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

They’re making me do work at work.

18 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Whoever named frogs got it 100% right. Those things are frogs.

18 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Still hard to believe that access to infinite information made us dumber.

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

243 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,512

Funny Quotes Topics

17,578

Funny Quotes Images

15,512

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,277

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡ΉπŸ‡΄ has shared:

I’m sorry I bit your hand when you reached for my popcorn.

Someone from πŸ‡―πŸ‡΅ has shared:

Why is Saturday over in 7 minutes and Sunday in 4 minutes, but Monday is 84 months long?

Someone from πŸ‡ΉπŸ‡© has viewed:

Diet day #1: All the unhealthy food has been removed from the house. It was delicious.

Someone from πŸ‡©πŸ‡Ώ has copied:

Don’t worry. There is still hope for the summer: the rain should get warmer soon.

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡± has shared:

When I say I love the ocean, I mean I love the surface. Whatever goes on beneath has my respect, but it’s none of my business.

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡« has viewed:

Twitter is just a diary I choose to show to strangers.

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡Ό has downloaded:

I miss when my biggest problem was whether my Happy Meal toy matched the one from the commercial.

Someone from πŸ‡¬πŸ‡³ has copied:

You’ll be fighting for your life financially and that’s when all your toiletries finish at the same time.

Someone from πŸ‡ͺπŸ‡¨ has downloaded:

How long do you actually have to wear a muscle shirt until you get muscles?

Someone from πŸ‡·πŸ‡Ί has shared:

Why is being alive so expensive? I’m not even having a good time.

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Spotted on WeChat:

I used to think that the older you get, the wiser and more self-confident you become. I now know that you just get tired more quickly.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Whoever named the grapefruit when there was already a fruit named grape. Incompetent legend. I wish we could hang out.

Trending via Twitch:

Bruce Lee had a faster older brother named Sudden Lee.

Going bananas on Discord:

I think it’s time we acknowledged how incredibly stupid most super wealthy people are.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

Silk is a crazy material. β€œI like your shirt,” thanks. It came out of a bug.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

Opening the web before 9am is crazy. Like, did you even try to have a good day?

Spotted on X:

Adulthood is about being able to eat cookies for breakfast, but not doing it because you already ate all the cookies.

Making waves on Facebook:

I woke up from a deep sleep in a panic thinking I was late for work. Thankfully, I was already there.

Spotted on X:

In a room full of art, I’d still stare at you.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

You don’t do laundry once a week. You do it constantly, endlessly, foreverβ€”until you die.

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