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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇸 has copied:

Who needs an alarm clock when you have a bladder.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has shared:

The only appointment I’m ever on time for is disappointment.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has downloaded:

“I asked Grok. I asked ChatGPT.” Yeah, well, I asked my mom. She said no.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has downloaded:

You know Santa isn’t real because no man over 40 is out past 9PM.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has copied:

I like my women like I like my glasses: thick, transparent, and uneven.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has downloaded:

I just want someone who will treat me like a lady and hold the refrigerator door open for me.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has shared:

A sperm bank implies the existence of sperm markets, which further implies the existence of high-frequency sperm trading.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has downloaded:

I feel like I should give my air conditioner a plaque for employee of the month.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has copied:

Yes, I’ve gained weight. Too many people wanted to have sex with me. It was annoying.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has downloaded:

First responders? You mean reply guys?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2536 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,698

Funny Quotes Topics

15,358

Funny Quotes Images

12,698

Updated

1 minute ago

Users Online

3,468

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Messenger:

Caught my son chewing on electrical wires. So, I grounded him. He’s doing better currently and conducting himself properly.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Leaving your house and returning back safely is such an underrated blessing.

Shared recently on Messenger:

I don’t even check my bank account no more. I just swipe my card and if it’s god’s will, money will be debited.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Could you even imagine the crime rate if no one drank coffee or ate bacon.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Your girlfriend needs two hours to get ready. But if you don’t have your shoes on when she’s ready, you’re the problem.

Seen just now on Threads:

I came. I saw. I made it awkward.

Trending via Reddit:

Planking is the only time we appreciate time.

Breaking via Facebook:

I caught your husband cheating on you at an Alanis concert, and thought you, you, you oughta know.

Trending via LinkedIn:

A girl was coming over till she wasn’t—that’s what happened.

Just shared via Reddit:

“Huh” is 94% of my vocabulary.

It sucks when a woman realizes that her knight in shining armor was actually just a moron wrapped in tinfoil.

It sucks when a woman realizes that her knight in shining armor was actually just a moron wrapped in tinfoil.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"🤣 Oh, what a plot twist! Turns out her knight wasn't shining but was just a dull 'tin' man in disguise! 🤪 That's like ordering a gourmet meal and getting a fast-food flop instead! 🍔 Lesson learned: always check under the armor for any hidden tinfoil! 🔍😂"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2536 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,698

Funny Quotes Topics

15,358

Funny Quotes Images

12,698

Updated

1 minute ago

Users Online

3,454

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇭 has downloaded:

I hope this is the year my teen learns how to turn off a light when she leaves a room.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has downloaded:

The note on this boxed wine says ‘Fresh up to 6 weeks after opening’. 6 weeks. Lol.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has copied:

My fridge has brought more light into my life than most people.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has copied:

Do married people watch Gen Z dating and feel like they caught the last chopper out of Nam?

Someone from 🇫🇮 has bookmarked:

Putting away the Christmas tree. Sad day for cats.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has bookmarked:

The dildo of consequences rarely arrives lubed.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has viewed:

My girlfriend wants us to try couples counseling and I said we should use my therapist because he already knows what’s wrong with her.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has downloaded:

I just can’t watch football, there’s too much “penetration in the backfield” for me to not giggle like an immature maniac.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has viewed:

Today in who needs an alarm: my kid woke me up early by scream-whispering WHAT IS DUST?

Someone from 🇦🇺 has bookmarked:

Short men store so much anger in their little body.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on WhatsApp:

I’m no expert, but I don’t think the United Kingdom is very united.

Spotted on Pinterest:

The toddler refers to every baby as Baby [Name], like Baby is their formal title.

Just landed via Telegram:

That fight could’ve been an email.

Just landed via Telegram:

Imagine she’s home alone, bored out of her mind, and she STILL won’t put that laundry away. She is me.

Making waves on X:

What’s wrong, babe? You hardly touched your own advice you give to others.

Seen just now on Threads:

If I was on Love Island, I would get wasted and drown in the pool, altering the course of every contestant’s life forever.

Trending via Threads:

That moment your alarm clock goes off in the morning and you don’t know whether to get dressed or fake an illness.

Spotted on Instagram:

If someone wants to spend time with you, they’ll let you know. Get rid of those people.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

I feel like a wildlife photographer when I spend hours trying to capture my teenager’s smile.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Girls expect handwritten letters from guys who copy birthday wishes from ChatGPT.

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