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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇲 has downloaded:

The world is my ostrich, or whatever.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has viewed:

I don’t know what i’m going to be for Halloween, so I’m probably just going to put in a tampon and go as a sexy kite.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has shared:

Really miss the drama of being able to angrily shut a flip phone.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has downloaded:

Where can one find a sugar daddy? Asking for a friend.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has bookmarked:

The fact that someone looked straight at a purple onion and named it red onion really bothers me.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has copied:

I’ve finally found a book that speaks to me. I believe it’s called an “audiobook”.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has viewed:

What song lyric resonates with you the most? Mine is “we’re tiny, we’re toony, we’re all a little loony”

Someone from 🇮🇳 has copied:

Doing nothing is hard. You never know when you are done.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has copied:

Saying “sounds good to me” in a meeting then quickly realizing a lot more was expected from you.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has downloaded:

Me to HR: Okay, but you have to admit that was funny.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Jan 2, 2026

3,434

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via LinkedIn:

My spirit animal is a sloth on its fourth nap of the day!

Trending via Slack:

I need a vacation, but the kind where everyone else leaves, and I have my house to myself for a few days.

Just landed via TikTok:

My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Here’s what I’ve learned since I’ve been on social media: I’m not nearly as disturbed as I thought I was.

Going bananas on Facebook:

AI won’t replace me because I’m already useless to society.

Shared recently on Messenger:

You’ll be fighting for your life financially and that’s when all your toiletries finish at the same time.

Going bananas on WeChat:

When you have finished reading this funny quote, you will be a little closer to death than before.

Breaking via YouTube:

Why can’t the house clean itself? It seems to get dirty by itself.

Spotted on Slack:

The best part about being married is having a permanent person to debrief with immediately after any social event.

Trending via Discord:

Ever since I turned 20, someone is always in Japan or Italy. Is it like this forever?

It sucks when a woman realizes that her knight in shining armor was actually just a moron wrapped in tinfoil.

2 months ago

0

It sucks when a woman realizes that her knight in shining armor was actually just a moron wrapped in tinfoil.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"🤣 Oh, what a plot twist! Turns out her knight wasn't shining but was just a dull 'tin' man in disguise! 🤪 That's like ordering a gourmet meal and getting a fast-food flop instead! 🍔 Lesson learned: always check under the armor for any hidden tinfoil! 🔍😂"

armor, disappointment, expectation, humor, just, knight, moron, relationship, shining, sucks, tinfoil, woman

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Home is where the Wi-Fi connects automatically and no one chews loud.

0

2 months ago

chewing, comfort, family, home, humor, loud, loud chewing, technology, where, Wi-Fi, wifi
What a bleak life it must be if you’ve never had a drink shoot through your nose when you laugh.

0

2 months ago

bleak, bleak life, drink, experience, funny experience, humor, joy, laugh, laughter, life, mishap, never, nose, shoot
Pouring Diet Coke directly into my gunshot wound.

1

5 months ago

beverage, coke, diet, Diet Coke, gunshot, gunshot wound, humor, injury, ironic, ironic remedy, pain, pain relief, relief, remedy, wound
But if i put my laundry away, the laundry chair will be out of a job.

0

2 months ago

away, chair, clean, clean clothes, clothes, household, humor, i, job, laundry, procrastination, put, satire
Why are fish the only thing you can monger? Let me monger some other stuff.

0

2 months ago

absurdity, fish, food, humor, joke, let, me, monger, only, seafood, stuff, thing, why, wordplay
Marriage is so scary. What do you mean I can’t have my own room?

0

6 days ago

commitment, fear, humor, i, marriage, mean, own, relationship, room, scary

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

25 shares on Discord this month:

I tried to scream into the abyss today but got a busy signal.

31 shares on LinkedIn this month:

The sun really clocks out for the day before I do. That’s insane.

92 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Stop rushing in the morning. You’re starting your day in panic mode.

45 shares on Slack this month:

‘I love reading!’ says the woman who loves owning books.

97 shares on Instagram this month:

Just once I’d like to read a medication label that says: Warning, may cause permanent weight loss, increased energy and wrinkle removal.

27 shares on Messenger this month:

Thank God for headphones and day dreaming.

72 shares on Messenger this month:

So I just googled my symptoms, turns out I’m addicted to you.

82 shares on LinkedIn this month:

The word synergy sounds like a mix of the words sin and energy. Like, to be debauched but to do it with flair and zest.

30 shares on Facebook this month:

I just sneezed next to my computer and the anti-virus popped up.

58 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Who needs a period calendar when I know I’ll have it when I’m crying over nonsense things.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Missionary, so I can look him in the eyes and ask him why Ashley from work is texting him with heart eyes.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Mice after a breakup be like “we are not on squeaking terms”.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Remember when we were kids and did everything we could to grow up? We were so stupid!

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Is it healthier to drink tap water and let the fluoride calcify my pineal gland or drink bottled spring water and let micro plastics settle in my balls?

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Who you are before you have your coffee is the real you.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I rode around the block on my bike for the first time in years and now I understand why Lance Armstrong took performance enhancing drugs.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I never had a year with this much thinking. I’ve been thinking since the 1st.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Uninstalling Instagram can increase your IQ by 10%.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Adulthood is just saying “it is what it is,” and then crying in your car to a song from 2012.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Unfortunately for things, they have no choice but to work out for me.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,305

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇱 has copied:

I have a drawer in my kitchen that I can’t open anymore because of that one time I decided to put a spatula in it.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has copied:

I get ignored so much, my name should be “terms and conditions”.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has downloaded:

What age will I grow out of not answering the door when I’m home and sneaking around the house to find out who’s knocking?

Someone from 🇲🇰 has shared:

I just wanna be rich enough to not have to run onstage after concerts to get my bra back.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has bookmarked:

I walked into a holiday party, saw someone else already playing with the dog, and realized they’d stolen my entire social strategy.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has viewed:

My mind not only wanders, sometimes it leaves completely!

Someone from 🇱🇸 has shared:

I’m going to be a printer today and just not work.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has downloaded:

Pretty sure I need to go back to bed and sleep for 3 days.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has bookmarked:

The way my phone’s facial recognition pretends not to recognize me, you’d think I dated it.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has bookmarked:

The difference between me and Superman is that he has super vision, and I need supervision.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Instagram:

Cars should come with a secondary smaller “sorry” horn for when you do something a lil silly by accident.

Live now on Pinterest:

I said it was my favorite show, I didn’t say it was good.

Shared recently on Reddit:

I told all my neighbors that I have a twin, so that when I see them in public I don’t have to talk to them.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

Hey there, Delilah, what’s it like in new orc city?

Making waves on Instagram:

Journaling was the most useless thing l ever attempted. Not only am I still suffering but now there’s evidence.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

If you see this, straighten your back, you banana-shaped mess.

Live now on LinkedIn:

Songs discovered from movies are usually a masterpiece.

Live now on Messenger:

No, babe, I love your prefrontal cortex. The fully developed ones scare me.

Making waves on Reddit:

Age is just a number… that now takes a really long time to scroll to.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

I am thick and tired.

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