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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇴 has downloaded:

When I say I’m Christmas shopping the “for myself” is silent.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has viewed:

We must all do our part for the planet. The other day I unplugged a row of electric cars nobody was using.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has bookmarked:

I’m at the age where drinking a cup of coffee now makes me feel like Popeye scarfing down a can of spinach.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has shared:

Stupid cow blocking the road. HOW DAIRY!

Someone from 🇲🇼 has shared:

Not to brag, but I’ve done nothing for several hours.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has viewed:

Facebook is like a never-ending high school reunion.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has bookmarked:

When I finally snap it’ll be because I had to type my email address in on the TV.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has viewed:

I like when games that have no need for a jump button have a jump button.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has viewed:

On the whole, people are getting smarter. I remember when they had to put “The End” on the screen, so people would know the movie was over.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has bookmarked:

I delete posts cause I be getting mature over the hours.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,568

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on LinkedIn:

I nearly broke my toe because the coffee table didn’t look where it was going.

Going bananas on WeChat:

People be like “I love your energy” – then drain it.

Trending via Slack:

I hate to break it to you, guys, but my husband says you’re not real. He just called you my imaginary friends.

Freshly posted on Slack:

I want the dreams to chase me for once.

Spotted on Pinterest:

My boss told me “It’s not rocket science.” Yeah, almost everything that exists is not rocket science.

Just shared via Messenger:

God created childbirth so women could know how men feel when we have a cold.

Trending via Facebook:

Once you find humor in any situation, you have nothing to fear.

Just shared via Twitch:

The older I get, the earlier it gets late.

Going bananas on Messenger:

You don’t have to be crazy to hang out with me. I’ll train you.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Wonder if I should do something with my life, or kind of just continue to hang out.

It’s called the Summer Olympics so one of the events should be running in flip flops to catch the ice cream man.

Funny quote about summer Olympics and chasing ice cream in flip flops with playful humor.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Who needs a marathon when you can sprint in flip flops after that elusive ice cream truck? 🍦🏃‍♂️ The Summer Olympics just got a new event inspiration! #CatchMeIfYouCan"

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Keep the laugh going 😂

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

68 shares on X this month:

Can’t wait for this AI bubble to pop so we can all go back to normal, just like how the internet completely disappeared after the dot-com bubble popped.

29 shares on YouTube this month:

To everyone I’ve wronged this year. Next year same time, same place.

84 shares on Threads this month:

They should invent a political party that doesn’t suck.

58 shares on Messenger this month:

My neighbor said he heard me having sex today but it was just me standing in front of my air conditioner.

69 shares on Facebook this month:

I’m not into casual sex. Send me a résumé.

38 shares on Telegram this month:

Sex is cool but have you ever had your bed all to yourself.

29 shares on Facebook this month:

One day you’re 18 eating pizza for every lunch, then suddenly you’re 30 and eating salad with celery and kale juice.

99 shares on WeChat this month:

Them: OMG, I haven’t seen you in so long. Me: Yeah, that was on purpose.

66 shares on Snapchat this month:

I want someone who will look at me the same way I look at chocolate cake.

87 shares on Messenger this month:

Wild how we don’t get a public holiday for Wrestlemania, but okay.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I love being home and doing absolutely nothing and never contributing to society.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

The only thing I don’t miss about the 90s is people smelling like cigarettes.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I just agree with people so that they stop talking.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Taking off my house pajamas to put on my errands pajamas.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m very strong, but not in a get a jar open kinda way.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I want to have a penguin that just waddles up to me whenever I’m sad.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I need a long hot meteor shower.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Going to the beach as a feet guy must be insane.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Looks fade but dark, twisted, inappropriate humor is forever.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

All quiet on the frontal lobe.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,494

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇨 has copied:

Just got some minutes of cardio trying to pick up an ice cube from the kitchen floor.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has viewed:

Internet strangers offer the best advice.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has bookmarked:

I don’t carry my wallet to work because I’m afraid someone will steal it while I’m sleeping.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has viewed:

I don’t drink and drive, but some people drive me to drink.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has copied:

There are people on TV who are not ruined by fame, but who ruin fame.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has copied:

I talk to myself mostly because I am an excellent listener.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has bookmarked:

Do you ever think back about all the crazy stuff you did when you were younger, and wonder how you’re still alive?

Someone from 🇩🇴 has copied:

I’d stalk me too, I get it.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has copied:

You’ll never be as lazy as the person who named the fireplace.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has bookmarked:

Spider-Man, but set in rural England so he just has to walk everywhere.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Discord:

Can you delete that photo of me? It looks exactly the way I look in real life.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

I think that McDonalds is putting an unhealthy amount of lettuce in the Big Macs these days.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

You know who else works in mysterious ways? Me.

Going viral on TikTok:

We all have that one coworker whose sole purpose is to reduce our life expectancy by ten years.

Making waves on YouTube:

I’m so old, I used to block people by simply holding the door shut.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Online dating is stupid because scent is such an important factor of attraction.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

I hate everyone in front of me at this checkout line, everyone behind me is cool.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Somebody needs to get my shit together.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Been acting really busy today because I can tell my coworker wants to talk about something in his personal life.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

If caterpillars are able to sleep for a long time and come out prettier, why cant I?

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