Wordgag 🎅

Commentary:
"Who needs a marathon when you can sprint in flip flops after that elusive ice cream truck? 🍦🏃‍♂️ The Summer Olympics just got a new event inspiration! #CatchMeIfYouCan"

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Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Women only want one thing, and it’s the power to cast men who tell us to smile right into a pit of giant venomous serpents.

0

1 month ago

cast, empowerment, gender, giant, humor, man, men, only, pit, power, right, sarcasm, serpent, smile, tell, thing, us, venomous, venomous serpent, want, woman, women
I read somewhere that playing white noise helps you sleep better, but I didn’t find country music helpful at all.

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1 month ago

better, country, country music, helpful, humor, i, music, noise, playing, read, relaxation, sleep, somewhere, sound, white, white noise
Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.

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1 month ago

dying, fitness, health, health nut, hospital, humor, irony, lifestyle, lying, mortality, nothing, nut, sarcasm, someday, stupid
I told my daughter to check her attitude, and she responded, “For complaints about attitude, please contact the manufacturer.”

0

7 days ago

attitude, check, complaint, complaints, contact, daughter, humor, i, manufacturer, parent-child, please, response, told, witty, witty response
Foolproof? Yeah, well we’ll see about that.

0

2 months ago

confidence, doubt, foolproof, humor, irony, skepticism, well
Haircuts should be covered by insurance.

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2 months ago

expense, haircut, humor, insurance, necessity, self-care, should

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

88 shares on Slack this month:

Pool rules: You’re not allowed to do anything that begins with the words ‘Hey everyone watch this!’

50 shares on Reddit this month:

Dating apps never work for me because I need at least two years of friendship charged with weird sexual tension to even consider falling in love.

99 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Don’t wait until you’re on your death bed to let them know how you feel. You may be too weak to raise your middle finger.

95 shares on TikTok this month:

No matter how early you get up, fate always gets up half an hour earlier.

15 shares on TikTok this month:

What song lyric resonates with you the most? Mine is “we’re tiny, we’re toony, we’re all a little loony”

86 shares on Messenger this month:

I’m convinced the washing machine is a portal to another dimension for socks.

18 shares on TikTok this month:

If you steal enough FitBits, they’ll just give you one for your ankle.

46 shares on Instagram this month:

Turns out strange women lying in ponds distributing swords was a better basis for a system of government actually.

96 shares on Messenger this month:

Nothing makes me feel more powerful than when I write ‘furthermore’ in an email.

64 shares on Instagram this month:

Calling me ugly isn’t even an insult, because I know already.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇪 has shared:

Maybe I prefer my ducks scattered about.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has shared:

Opening a Star Wars pub called Bar Bar Binks.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has viewed:

My wallet is like an onion; opening it makes me cry.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has bookmarked:

There are more bots on here than in Star Wars.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has shared:

If you compliment me, my glasses fog up.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has viewed:

Proverbs are so mean. Like, I don’t deserve any worm because I woke up at 11am? Like, no worm at all?

Someone from 🇭🇺 has copied:

Lord of the Rings is wild cause Gandalf told Frodo he had to go on a super dangerous journey and Frodo was like “Ok, can I bring my gardener?”

Someone from 🇷🇴 has viewed:

Sex in the snow is wintercourse.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has viewed:

Having a loose stool means two completely different things depending on if you are a nurse or a bartender.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has shared:

The term “bisexual” is so confusing. Are you sexual twice a week or once every other week?

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Telegram:

Typing in your email address on the TV is a different type of irritation.

Making waves on WeChat:

This post ain’t gonna like itself, damn.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

You ever meet an all-male friend group that is less a group of friends than it is “one guy and his henchmen”?

Going viral on WeChat:

Why can’t you just be happy for me and then go home and talk behind my back later like a normal person?

Seen just now on Threads:

Toddlers be like, we can do this the hard way or the harder way.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Restaurants: put your phone down, live in the moment. Also, scan our QR code and browse our menu.

Just shared via Slack:

Not to brag, but no one has ever accused me of trying too hard.

Spotted on Threads:

I am on a diet where you just speak Italian: “Pasta,” “Pizza,” and “I’m leaving Rooma for dessert.”

Going viral on Telegram:

They should invent a situationship that turns into something beautiful.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Who really needs jetpacks, I want to be able to start over from my last save point.

Wordgag 🎅

Activity Log ✨

It’s called the Summer Olympics so one of the events should be running in flip flops to catch the ice cream man.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Women only want one thing, and it’s the power to cast men who tell us to smile right into a pit of giant venomous serpents.

I read somewhere that playing white noise helps you sleep better, but I didn’t find country music helpful at all.

Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.

I told my daughter to check her attitude, and she responded, “For complaints about attitude, please contact the manufacturer.”

Foolproof? Yeah, well we’ll see about that.

Haircuts should be covered by insurance.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨