Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇿 has downloaded:

Be the reason someone smiles today. Or blocks you. Whatever.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has viewed:

That incredible ability of cats to only throw up on carpeted floors.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has copied:

I’ve finally found a book that speaks to me. I believe it’s called an “audiobook”.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has viewed:

Anyone who thinks things have got so bad that they can only get better is showing a remarkable lack of imagination.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has viewed:

The Epstein client list but to the tune of Mambo number 5.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has downloaded:

In these difficult times, it’s important to remember that cheese exists.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has copied:

Girls will be like, “This is my comfort song,” and it’s the howling of a wolf inside a dark forest.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has bookmarked:

Amazing how fast my addiction to my phone is cured the moment I get a phone call.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has shared:

1pm, the perfect time to start doing the work I woke up early to get a jump on.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has downloaded:

I hate that I’m so indecisive. Actually, I don’t know if hate is the right word.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,390

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Twitch:

Don’t come to my house unannounced. I will stare at you from my window.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Shit posting is cheaper than therapy.

Spreading quickly via X:

I’m not stubborn, my way is just better than yours.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

I’m as single as a one Dollar bill, and I don’t need any change.

Live now on LinkedIn:

I love when the plot thickens.

Trending via Threads:

Some of you aren’t reading the room. Not even listening to the room on audiobook.

Trending via Instagram:

My optimism doesn’t come out of thin air. A flask is involved.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Imagine you go bowling by yourself and you go sit down, but it’s your turn again.

Going bananas on Snapchat:

Got a scam email full of mistakes like they’re not even trying. It won’t be long before AI takes their jobs.

Just shared via Discord:

I smile at all animals, just not the human ones.

It’s crazy that you don’t really argue with a baby for the first year of its life and then you have to argue with the baby every day.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Parenting: where the first year is all about baby talks and giggles 🍼, only for the next year to be filled with negotiations and baby tantrums 🤯👶🤣"

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Keep the laugh going 😂

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

22 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Ordered a coffee, and the barista said, “Anything else?” and I almost said, “Stability.”

45 shares on Instagram this month:

People with air fryers really love to tell you what they air fry.

92 shares on Facebook this month:

If anyone wants to contact me, from now on I can only be reached via my bank account.

54 shares on Telegram this month:

That awkward moment when someone gets angry at you for clicking a pen, but you have to click it one more time to use it.

95 shares on WeChat this month:

You look like you suck at Mario Kart.

44 shares on Slack this month:

It’s so funny how every true crime documentary eventually devolves into a story about how the police botched the entire investigation.

97 shares on X this month:

The adult version of “head, shoulders, knees and toes” is “wallet, glasses, keys and phone.”

92 shares on X this month:

Euthanizing my Tamagotchi.

86 shares on Discord this month:

If the universe is continuing to expand then why does my rent keep going up?

23 shares on Slack this month:

If I’m ever on life support, unplug me, then plug me back in. See if that works.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I just can’t watch football, there’s too much “penetration in the backfield” for me to not giggle like an immature maniac.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Are you ever so happy to be in bed, you wish you could be even more in bed than you already are?

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Normalize responding to work emails with: “What the hell are you talking about?”

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Has someone told the whales that they can’t sing?

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m not totally useless. I can be used as a bad example.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Just in case you don’t know, it’s “piqued” your interest, not “peaked”.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

A college education is one of the few things a person is willing to pay for and not get.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

There is no bigger lie than “fun for the whole family”.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Do you ever feel like you’re a white shirt and life is a red wine?

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Don’t let anyone treat you like pond water. You are Fiji water, okay?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,273

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇼 has downloaded:

When I get tired of shopping, I sit down and try on shoes.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has downloaded:

Stop expecting people to be as cool as you, it’s a recipe for disappointment.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has viewed:

I sexually identify as a microwave dinner, because I am ready in 5 minutes, look nothing like my photos, and I’m just satisfying enough for you to want me again when you’re desperate.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has copied:

Maybe your dog is barking at my luggage because he doesn’t enjoy his job, officer.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has bookmarked:

If a vegetarian who eats fish is a pescatarian, is a vegetarian who eats chicken called a poultrygeist?

Someone from 🇵🇭 has bookmarked:

If you want to hang out with me, all you have to do is ask, and I’ll say no.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has downloaded:

The word Ohio looks like a tractor.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has bookmarked:

Some things are better left alone, like me, for instance.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has viewed:

I don’t wanna brag, but my posts are unpopular on all continents.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has shared:

The possibility of monsters residing underneath your bed is negated when the mattress is positioned on the floor.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Threads:

The word Ohio looks like a tractor.

Going bananas on YouTube:

UK rappers be like “I’ve got a posh flat and my bird is very comely, I own more motors than the marchioness of cholmondeley”

Just shared via Messenger:

If you find my upper lip mole sexy, wait till you see the dark spot on my MRI.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Wow, you have a very impressive collection of strange tendencies.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

Why is Subway asking me for a tip? Bro, we made this sandwich together.

Trending via Reddit:

Sausage might clog my arteries, but it lubricates my soul.

Trending via WeChat:

Forget carrying me to bed; carry me to the end of the workweek. Then we can talk.

Making waves on Reddit:

For security reasons, I highly recommend that you leave one of your children home during the holidays to set elaborate booby traps in case of intruders.

Seen just now on Facebook:

I voted for the candidate on the last yard sign I saw before pulling in. Slow children at play will lead us into the future.

Breaking via Messenger:

A peaceful transition of power happening between me and this red wine just now.

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