Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇴🇲 has viewed:

Got an email from my bank saying “is your 401k enough to retire on” and it’s like you are my bank, you know it’s not.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has bookmarked:

I was gonna get on the treadmill, but then the couch will get sad.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has downloaded:

Actually, men should take the pill. It makes more sense to unload the gun than to shoot at a bulletproof vest.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has bookmarked:

The most unrealistic part of cooking shows is when they have enough room in their fridge to fit an entire baking sheet.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has downloaded:

Hate when I view someone’s story, and it’s their birthday.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has shared:

Pets can’t talk but everyone loves them. This is not a coincidence.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has viewed:

The older I get, the more I don’t want to do things.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has downloaded:

Just saw my evil doppelganger speed away in a DeLorean. I’m sure it’s fine.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has bookmarked:

I was about to organise my closet, but I then I found what I was looking for.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has viewed:

I want a restraining order on everyone who doesn’t wear deodorant.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,425

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on TikTok:

I love being an adult and sitting absolutely still and suddenly I’ve hurt my neck somehow.

Seen just now on Slack:

Isolation, the most goated coping mechanism. I love talking to no one and losing my mind alone.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

If you live in the same hemisphere as me, you’ve probably already heard me sneeze.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

You can’t spell disappointment without me.

Spotted on Messenger:

Old people like to golf every day because they are so sick of everyone’s shit and just wanna repeatedly whack something.

Just shared via WeChat:

I’ll let you guys know if the psych ward has wifi.

Trending via Threads:

I did not spend years turning the faucet off while I brushed my teeth, so corporations could ruin the environment with festering AI slop.

Breaking via Snapchat:

I will always be hotter than everyone who hates me.

Going bananas on Reddit:

There should be a special rating system for movies that tells you how uncomfortable you’ll be if you watch them with your parents.

Trending via Threads:

Your 20s are for developing attachments to people who will haunt you for the rest of your life.

It’s like 10,000 yawns when all you need is a nap.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"When life gives you yawns, it’s time for a snore-tastic adventure! 😴💤"

exhaustion, fatigue, humor, nap, need, rest, sleep, yawn

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Sometimes the best thing about my job is that my chair turns.

0

2 months ago

best, chair, humor, job, perspective, thing, work, workplace
Strict parents raise good liars.

0

2 months ago

childhood, good, good liar, honesty, humor, irony, liar, parent, parenting, parents, strict, strict parent
If you ever see me running, it’s either away from my problems or towards an ice cream van.

0

2 months ago

activity, away, cream, escape, ever, fun, fun activity, humor, ice, ice cream, ice cream van, me, problems, running, treat, van
Back to work after the long holiday weekend, so you’re finally away from the relatives you don’t like, and back with the co-workers you don’t like.

0

2 months ago

after, away, back, back to work, co-workers, coworkers, family, holiday, humor, office, relatif, sarcasm, weekend, work
When people are telling me a story about their life it often reminds me of a much better story from my life.

0

2 months ago

better, experience, humor, life, me, much, people, personal, reminder, story, telling
If I was a mythical creature, I’d be a Sighclops.

0

2 months ago

creature, fantasy, humor, i, ID, imagination, joke, mythical, mythical creature, Sighclops, wordplay

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

73 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Every time I have to repeat myself, a new curse word gets added into the sentence.

72 shares on Snapchat this month:

Men make money to be with a woman, but women make money to not have to be with a man. Clock it!

20 shares on TikTok this month:

That second wave of sleep after waking up too early.

93 shares on Pinterest this month:

I’m glad I have boobs. The last thing I need is people making eye contact with me.

68 shares on TikTok this month:

I received my electricity bill. I think they billed me for sunlight, divine light, and the light at the end of the tunnel.

88 shares on X this month:

A cheat code to adulting is to always have something to look forward to, no matter how small or big.

36 shares on Telegram this month:

Can I be speaker? I’m pretty good at saying a lot without saying anything at all.

90 shares on Snapchat this month:

Welcome to adulthood. You have a favorite gas station now.

15 shares on X this month:

Don’t interrupt me while I’m embarrassing myself.

51 shares on Snapchat this month:

Whenever I feel like I hate my job, I remind myself that I could be a food taster for the emperor.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇿🇲 has bookmarked:

The whole “read before you go to bed to get sleepy” thing does not apply to me because I will be up till 5 a.m. if the book is worth it.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has downloaded:

On the one hand, I’d love to look sexy in a bikini. On the other hand, there’s cake.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has viewed:

Just got hired at Five Guys as the guy who punches the burger before they put it in the bag.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has copied:

The real morning people are the ones that wake up to call radio stations.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has viewed:

I have had songs stuck in my head and I have had people stuck in my head, I highly recommend songs.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has downloaded:

Starting your day with an early morning run is a great way to make sure your day can’t get any worse than it started.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has viewed:

Honestly, I don’t think I have any more new passwords left in me. You wanna steal my identity? Go ahead, I hope you enjoy debt and terrible posture.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has shared:

It’s difficult to play hard to get when I’m already hard to want.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has bookmarked:

Signed an Executive Order that you have to give me a little forehead kiss.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has viewed:

A collective orgasm would fix the world.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Oligarchy sounds like something you dip your breadstick in at the olive garden.

Making waves on Instagram:

A big shout-out to all the beekeepers. Our unstung heroes.

Just shared via Reddit:

Drinking through a straw is the opposite of snorkeling.

Making waves on Instagram:

Men with bibles names be the worst type of people.

Just landed via Slack:

“What’s love?” Grandma sliding money into my hand like a drug dealer. Yeah, man, that’s love.

Just landed via Discord:

Hell hath no fury like a sports bra being applied to a just showered but not 100% dry body.

Going bananas on Facebook:

I’ve done literally nothing all day, except feel guilty about doing nothing all day.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

I just wanna be rich enough to not have to run onstage after concerts to get my bra back.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

Don’t you hate it when you lose things? Like the motivation to do anything.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Hired a financial advisor, and his first piece of advice was that I don’t make nearly enough money to justify paying a financial advisor.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

It’s like 10,000 yawns when all you need is a nap.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Sometimes the best thing about my job is that my chair turns.

Strict parents raise good liars.

If you ever see me running, it’s either away from my problems or towards an ice cream van.

Back to work after the long holiday weekend, so you’re finally away from the relatives you don’t like, and back with the co-workers you don’t like.

When people are telling me a story about their life it often reminds me of a much better story from my life.

If I was a mythical creature, I’d be a Sighclops.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨