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Commentary:
When your therapist knows the cost of their advice is just as eye-watering as the epiphanies themselves 💸💡 #TherapyIsExpensiveButSoIsYourSanity

always, cost, humor, money, therapist, therapy

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I got a raise! On my meds dosage. But still.

2 months ago

dosage, health, humor, i, irony, meds, mental, mental health, positivity, raise, still
Referring to normal shoes as non-bowling shoes.

5 months ago

bowling, footwear, humor, normal, shoe, wordplay
I like listening to music in languages I don’t speak because sometimes I just don’t wanna know what anybody is talking about.

1 month ago

communication, entertainment, foreign, foreign language, humor, i, just, know, language, languages, listening, misunderstanding, music, sometimes, speak, talking
My children are very helpful. For example, when I ask them to do something, they suggest a different child that could do it instead.

2 months ago

ask, child, children, delegation, different, example, helpful, helpfulness, humor, i, parenting, something
Willem Dafoe gets to be in two different Nosferatu movies, whereas the average person doesn’t even get to be in one.

2 months ago

acting, average, average person, dafoe, different, even, film, film industry, industry, movie, Nosferatu, opportunity, person, uniqueness, willem, Willem Dafoe
How much longer do we have to keep pretending that Pilates isn’t a sex thing?

3 weeks ago

fitness, humor, joke, keep, longer, much, Pilates, pretend, pretending, sex, thing

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

21 shares on Messenger this month:

Let’s all be grateful for a moment that stupidity is not contagious.

48 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I’m so sick of TV shows and movies where there are no likable characters. I don’t need to spend an hour with people I hate, I already have my life.

19 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Ironically people who are good at giving advice find it difficult to follow their own.

50 shares on WeChat this month:

Some days you’re the shit and some days you’re the fan.

11 shares on Pinterest this month:

Running to the boarding gate is my favorite workout.

50 shares on TikTok this month:

In my defense, they burned my grilled cheese sandwich.

23 shares on Telegram this month:

I’m kind of excited about the apocalypse. I would love to eat a basement full of food.

37 shares on LinkedIn this month:

If you’re riding in my car, that little middle piece is for my elbow — not yours.

15 shares on Pinterest this month:

No one is excited to see me in shorts except mosquitoes.

13 shares on WeChat this month:

People pleasers aren’t kind. They’re afraid.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇾 has downloaded:

If she forgives you, then 30 minutes later comes back mad again: that means she told her friends in her group chat, and the board of directors did not agree.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has bookmarked:

The highlight of my weekends is slipping into something more comfortable and putting my feet up.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has bookmarked:

Shuffling into the kitchen in a robe Sunday morning to change the clock on the microwave is the lamest form of time travel ever.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has copied:

I hope some dyslexic people don’t mail Satan instead of Santa.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has shared:

First date idea: Couples Colonoscopies.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has downloaded:

As you get older, you suddenly realize that the Smurf who hates everything is the normal one.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has shared:

My cat, who has no job and pays no rent, is apparently unhappy with his fancy new cat food, and I, for some reason, am currently on my way back to the store to rectify the matter.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has viewed:

If the Beatles were just 4 lads from Liverpool, imagine what 400 lads from Liverpool would sound like. But y’all aren’t ready for that conversation.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has downloaded:

I’ve been doing Dry January, but it’s literally just been my lips and skin.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has viewed:

You can chill with someone a whole day at the university, and never see them again in your life, lol.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via WhatsApp:

In honor of the last eclipse, I will also get in the way of someone brighter than me.

Just landed via X:

I’m sorry I used air quotes when I said we were friends.

Seen just now on Twitch:

The angel and devil on my shoulders are both completely fed up with me.

Going bananas on Messenger:

So crazy to just be living every day through the slow-motion car crash of escalating fascism, and it’s still like, “Aww, man, I have to go to the dentist.”

Just landed via Instagram:

I’m at the age where the first thing I do when I get somewhere is look for a place to sit.

Broadcasted on Slack:

If you pass out in front of your kids they will either try to call an ambulance or use you as a trampoline. You just don’t know.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

The lion does not concern himself at all. The lion is depressed.

Making waves on Facebook:

I am not someone you have to host if you invite me, because I will have canceled.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

I’m no doctor but I’m pretty sure this Santa-shaped chocolate oughta settle my stomach.

Just shared via X:

Smart people are like huskies. If you don’t give them an interesting problem, they become an interesting problem.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

It’s like my therapist always says, that’ll be $175.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I got a raise! On my meds dosage. But still.

Referring to normal shoes as non-bowling shoes.

I like listening to music in languages I don’t speak because sometimes I just don’t wanna know what anybody is talking about.

My children are very helpful. For example, when I ask them to do something, they suggest a different child that could do it instead.

Willem Dafoe gets to be in two different Nosferatu movies, whereas the average person doesn’t even get to be in one.

How much longer do we have to keep pretending that Pilates isn’t a sex thing?

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨