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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇭 has copied:

Stop blaming everyone for all your problems. Pick one person you hate and blame them for everything.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has downloaded:

Me to cat: quit looking at me like I’m an ingredient.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has downloaded:

I love when toddlers passionately talk to you about absolutely nothing.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has viewed:

Men who tell their woman she’s pretty, for no particular reason, keep that shit up.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has viewed:

When you are in your 20s, there is going to be an urge to binge The Sopranos. it is very important that you press play.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has copied:

She doesn’t want flowers, she wants to invoke an ancient curse.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has copied:

“Dating pool” is incredibly optimistic. More like dating drainage.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has copied:

I wish my wife’s sighs came with subtitles.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has viewed:

Snakes don’t hiss anymore, they call you babe, bro, or friend.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has bookmarked:

I love reaching into my messy bag looking for something and everyone around me hears like glass breaking and bombs going off and a cat meowing from inside there.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,518

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via X:

Good morning to everyone except the people who are missing the ability to read the room.

Shared recently on YouTube:

My husband loves when we fight, and I turn it into a limited series called And Another Thing.

Shared recently on Facebook:

If you’re in first class on a flight, sometimes they upgrade you to captain.

Trending via Threads:

Have kids so you can fully appreciate how well your dog listens.

Shared recently on Instagram:

I’d be really slim if it wasn’t for birthdays, anniversaries, Easter, Christmas, Mother’s Day, weekends and me.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Welcome to your 40s: that “teenager”over there is actually 27.

Spotted on X:

Gordon Ramsay is making us dinner. It’s a four curse meal.

Spotted on Reddit:

If camera lenses are round, why are the pictures square?

Breaking via X:

My husband has entered the “fun socks” years.

Just shared via Reddit:

Welcome to your 50s, there’s a wrong way to stretch now.

It’s normal that my retirement plan is 100% contingent on me finding buried treasure at some point, right?

0
It’s normal that my retirement plan is 100% contingent on me finding buried treasure at some point, right?
Download image ↓

Commentary:
Absolutely! 🏴‍☠️ That's the spirit! Who needs boring old 401(k) plans when you can have a treasure map and a trusty shovel instead, right? 💰 Just make sure you have a backup plan in case you encounter more "X marks the spot" than actual booty! 😉 #RetirementGoals

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

80 shares on Snapchat this month:

For years I thought an oncologist was just the doctor they kept on-call at all times.

21 shares on Snapchat this month:

Mambo No. 5, but it’s in a minor key, and I’m naming women who didn’t text me back.

10 shares on Threads this month:

You give a man your heart and he’s gonna put it under another girl’s picture.

36 shares on Slack this month:

The dumbest thing about YouTube ads is how they seem to think that I’m a moron.

28 shares on YouTube this month:

Imagine being all knowing and still putting a snake in charge of apples.

83 shares on TikTok this month:

Imagine hating me and I’m just over here doing an epic air-drum solo to ‘In The Air Tonight’.

60 shares on WeChat this month:

“I’m fluent in creating worst-case scenarios in my head.”

51 shares on Snapchat this month:

Women’s skincare is so confusing. Am I supposed to look shiny and sweaty, or matte like cement?

39 shares on Reddit this month:

Guys love being called “daddy” until the pregnancy test comes back positive.

43 shares on LinkedIn this month:

One week without chocolate. I can no longer hear anything in my left eye.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

22 folks are currently checking 👀

You’ll never be as lazy as the person who named the fireplace.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve realized about a third of my life is spent trying to ignore the fact that I have to pee.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Math is like Chinese to me.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I could tell by the way she was pouring gasoline on a pile of my clothes that the relationship had hit some turbulence.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Ironically, the Internet was invented to save time.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Life is so funny because you think you look good today and a year later you look even better.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Climbing Mount Everest looks super boring and dumb. You just walk uphill, are cold and at the brink of death. No thanks.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Whatever you ask the Universe for under this post, you will get next week.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Don’t wait until you’re on your death bed to let them know how you feel. You may be too weak to raise your middle finger.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Spongebob never let anyone dull his whimsical spirit.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,584

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇷 has copied:

I don’t have any rizz but I do have snacks in my purse.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has shared:

Felony Vandalism is a beautiful name for a girl.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has bookmarked:

Me, adding fuel to the fire: I’m just here to help.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has bookmarked:

When you see a squirrel, you’re bound to say, “Awww, a squirrel!”

Someone from 🇸🇴 has copied:

I am physically, mentally and emotionally ready to enter a new phase in my life…. hibernation.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has downloaded:

I noticed you haven’t posted in a few weeks, and just wanted to thank you.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has viewed:

If you think you’re going to be in a dangerous situation, dress accordingly. Don’t wear flip-flops to a bank robbery, for example.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has shared:

Just because I’m smiling doesn’t mean I like you, I might be picturing you on fire.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has bookmarked:

Flies are literally obsessed with flying into a room, then pretending they can’t get out. Grow up.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has copied:

I hate liars, but what I hate more is when they think I’m an idiot and won’t find out the truth.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Twitch:

Therapists are like, “You don’t owe anyone anything. Except me. You owe me 250 dollars for this session.”

Freshly posted on X:

I can’t decide if people who wear pajamas in public have given up on life, or they are living it to the fullest.

Making waves on Reddit:

We need a true crime show called Downtown Stabby.

Seen just now on TikTok:

If lying was a job some people would be billionaires.

Seen just now on Facebook:

According to my chocolate advent calendar, tomorrow is Christmas.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Whenever I’m sad, you’re there. Whenever I have problems, you’re there. Whenever I lose control, you’re there. Let’s face it, you are bad luck.

Spreading quickly via X:

I told myself I’d behave today. Then I saw my reflection and thought, maybe tomorrow.

Seen just now on X:

My soulmate probably seen my posts and deleted me.

Making waves on Facebook:

I didn’t believe in karma until I was scheduled to work at 6am on a holiday.

Trending via Discord:

Don’t buy roses for her, buy chicken nuggets. Show her you really care.

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