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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇷 has shared:

Mr. Mixed Signals decided he likes me today.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has downloaded:

It’s a paradox that your nose is running and your feet smell.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has bookmarked:

I got my superpowers when I was bitten by a radioactive idiot.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has viewed:

I have poor night vision so I upgraded to LED headlights because it’s important to me to ensure nobody else can see either.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has copied:

We can put a man on the moon but we can’t find a good way to drink wine from a lying down position.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has shared:

I’m at the age where I see a huge, beautiful mansion in a movie and think, “How much does it cost to heat that house in the winter?”

Someone from 🇩🇰 has copied:

Having an exorcism, but only because the demon requested it.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has bookmarked:

Hate it when my mouth says something my brain was trying to keep quiet.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has viewed:

Adulting is realizing you can’t skip work like you skipped class.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has viewed:

I can do a lot of things, but listening to someone chew is not one of them.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

233 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,502

Funny Quotes Topics

17,569

Funny Quotes Images

15,502

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,579

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Facebook:

I’m so thankful I live on the planet that has pizza.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Be nice today, the world is on fire.

Breaking via Twitch:

They should invent a body that doesn’t keep the score.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

Ever since I was a little girl, I knew I wanted to skirt the issue.

Making waves on TikTok:

Being drunk and liking every tweet without reading it.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Like an advent calendar, you make me want to open up more every day.

Going viral on Telegram:

If you ever get a chance to date a cute person for one day, where will you take me?

Trending via Twitch:

Forget Spotify Wrapped. How many minutes did you spend listening to your girlfriend this year?

Seen just now on Twitch:

Receipts are like: Take this tiny piece of paper home with you and throw it away.

It’s okay to admit you want my lips on yours.

3 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
I'm flattered, but those lips better have a chocolate coating! 🍫😘

admission, admit, flirt, humor, kiss, lips, okay, want, yours

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Warning: not watching the news may lead to a heightened sense of joy, security, and optimism.

0

2 months ago

health, humor, joy, lead, media, mental, mental health, news, optimism, positivity, relief, security, sense, stress, stress relief, warning, watching
I’m officially at the age where I’m not upgrading my phone until it stops working.

0

2 months ago

age, humor, life, phone, technology, upgrade, where, working
If I had a boyfriend, I’d put him in a snow globe and shake it really hard.

0

2 months ago

boyfriend, globe, hard, humor, i, ID, imagination, playful, put, relationship, shake, snow, snow globe
“Hope this email finds you doing well!” The email found me, therefore I am unwell.

0

2 months ago

am, communication, doing, email, finds, found, hope, humor, i, irony, me, sarcasm, unwell, well, workplace
If I text you an accordion emoji, it means you better start acting accordingly.

0

2 months ago

accordingly, accordion, act, acting, better, communication, emoji, expectation, humor, i, means, start, text
Only time I believe a man is when he tells me that I’m pretty.

0

2 months ago

believe, compliment, confidence, flirting, honesty, humor, i, man, me, only, pretty, self-esteem, time, vanity

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

77 shares on Slack this month:

Some people find it strange when you talk to your pet. I find conversations with some people much stranger.

75 shares on WhatsApp this month:

If you’re gonna spend so much time in my head, would it kill you to tidy up a bit?

41 shares on Reddit this month:

I used to eat my feelings but now it’s so expensive, I might as well go to therapy.

88 shares on YouTube this month:

I’m at the age where living in the woods and arguing with a raccoon sounds like a peaceful retirement plan.

69 shares on Snapchat this month:

This coffee isn’t working. Think I need holy water.

72 shares on Facebook this month:

If politicians can text my cell phone asking for money, I should be able to text them directly with policy suggestions.

27 shares on WhatsApp this month:

46 shares on WeChat this month:

Never signed up for a 401k cause there’s no way in hell I can run that far.

81 shares on Pinterest this month:

I’m not mad, I just hope your socks slide off in your shoe all day.

93 shares on WeChat this month:

No one my age is single because they’re all unhappily married.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇿🇲 has viewed:

If you can reach enlightenment, can you also reach endarkenment?

Someone from 🇭🇺 has copied:

69 but we both just farting.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has viewed:

I’m trying to cut back on how much sense I make.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has bookmarked:

There’s a famous ancient Chinese proverb, but it’s written in Chinese so I have no idea what it says.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has viewed:

You can have kids or you can always know where your scissors are. You can’t have both.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has downloaded:

Life hack: You can turn your ordinary sofa into a sofa bed by simply forgetting your wife’s birthday.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has bookmarked:

You can always tell when a man is dating someone new. Why you going to the aquarium and the museum?

Someone from 🇬🇭 has copied:

I don’t mean to disrupt the hotel industry, but how about checkout is 24 hours after you check in?

Someone from 🇬🇭 has copied:

If a portal opened up in front of me, I’d go in—no questions asked.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has viewed:

Imagine playing Truth or Dare and they dare you to go home.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Reddit:

Toddlers: I’ve licked everything so everything is mine now.

Live now on TikTok:

I want time to sit and read, take a nap and snack. Basically, I want to be in Kindergarten.

Just landed via Instagram:

‘Sex with your ex’ is so stupid. If you want to dwell on the past, you can just buy a history book.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

It’s okay to admit you want my lips on yours.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Warning: not watching the news may lead to a heightened sense of joy, security, and optimism.

I’m officially at the age where I’m not upgrading my phone until it stops working.

If I had a boyfriend, I’d put him in a snow globe and shake it really hard.

“Hope this email finds you doing well!” The email found me, therefore I am unwell.

If I text you an accordion emoji, it means you better start acting accordingly.

Only time I believe a man is when he tells me that I’m pretty.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨