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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇹 has shared:

Life’s too short to remove the USB drive safely.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has shared:

This is about the time of year where my enthusiasm about shoveling snow turns into “it will probably melt on it’s own”.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has bookmarked:

Stay an extra hour in the office and no one cares. Arrive a few minutes late and everyone loses their minds.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has viewed:

Online shopping gives me a reason to live for another 3-5 business days.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has viewed:

Sometimes I can’t believe people have had the honor of experiencing my love and chose to hurt me instead.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has viewed:

Being abducted by aliens could be just the vacation I need right now.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has shared:

If Dracula had a cat, she’d be the one sleeping in the coffin.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has shared:

We have now entered the void (25th December to 31st December).

Someone from 🇨🇾 has copied:

Eating healthy requires a second job.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has viewed:

Before you call me an idiot consider this: I know!

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

244 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,513

Funny Quotes Topics

17,581

Funny Quotes Images

15,513

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,346

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on WhatsApp:

Hi. I didn’t mean to “like” your tweet. I was scraping dried jelly off my phone.

Going viral on TikTok:

My age is news to me every single time I remember.

Broadcasted on X:

My DMs are always open if you want to talk to yourself.

Making waves on Telegram:

Soccer: I love when they hold up the sign and a brand new, beautiful boy takes the place of a dirty, sweaty, ruined one.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Only after moving in together do you realize your girlfriend’s little quirks. Mine, for example, stores vegetables in the beer compartment.

Live now on Snapchat:

Headless mannequins are great because they let you see how you’ll look wearing a new shirt after you’ve been decapitated.

Live now on WhatsApp:

Let’s tell the truth cell phone. I don’t have six missed calls. I have six ignored calls.

Spotted on Reddit:

Doctors are always giving me Ibuprofen. Man, give me something I can sell.

Trending via YouTube:

Ugh, sometimes I just wish there was a song about liking to move it, move it.

Seen just now on Facebook:

I just found out it takes 5 sheep to make one wool sweater. I didn’t even know they knew how to knit.

It’s okay to admit you want my lips on yours.

0
It’s okay to admit you want my lips on yours.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
I'm flattered, but those lips better have a chocolate coating! 🍫😘

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

10 shares on WeChat this month:

I was going to go for a run, then realized I could just run my mouth on here.

46 shares on Twitch this month:

I’m tired of being an adult. Therefore, I will be stepping down. Thank you!

36 shares on Pinterest this month:

I have been nothing but creepy and aggressive to you. Please respond.

52 shares on YouTube this month:

I can relate to God because it also takes me a full week to finish something that still kind of sucks.

43 shares on YouTube this month:

One day I will start learning from my mistakes. Today is not that day. Tomorrow isn’t looking so good either.

94 shares on WeChat this month:

There must be an invisible mechanism on my book. Every time I open it, my husband starts trying to talk to me.

32 shares on Reddit this month:

Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.

39 shares on Telegram this month:

My main career goal at the moment is to find a big bag of money in the woods.

17 shares on Telegram this month:

Moms be like, “I needed this,” and it’s really just a break from being the one who holds it all together every single day.

10 shares on Slack this month:

Getting tipsy at a dimly lit restaurant with good conversation would heal me right now.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

11 folks are currently checking 👀

You ran a half marathon? That’s really cool, I’ve almost finished a bunch of things, too.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

You are born, you lie about how you are and then you die.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

When they dress up really nice, but all you can think about is the thrill of taking it off.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

All income is disposable if you’re brave enough.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

AirBnB is fun for when you want to be financially abused by a stranger with a binder filled with rules.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

If you wish me a happy Thanksgiving, don’t be surprised if I whip out a ziplock bag and ask you to bring me home some leftovers.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Social media may have been a mistake.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

If you have children, you can experience all human emotions before 9 a.m. on Sundays.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

One thing I love about the internet is seeing some of the most hateful people posting inspirational quotes.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I wish I loved exercise as much as I love napping 3 times a day and eating 5 times the suggested serving size.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

244 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,513

Funny Quotes Topics

17,581

Funny Quotes Images

15,513

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,485

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇹 has viewed:

“I need a movie where the villain actually won!” Have you tried watching the news?

Someone from 🇲🇦 has bookmarked:

Starting is the hardest part. Unless it’s eating chocolate. Then stopping is the hardest part.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has downloaded:

Back then, my parents were afraid of what I would do on the Internet. Today, I’m afraid of what my parents do on the Internet.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has shared:

Wisdom of the day: Don’t do anything you don’t want to explain to the paramedic.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has downloaded:

Dear recipe websites. I don’t need your life story. Just give me the recipe.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has bookmarked:

Why are there people outside at the same time as me? It’s my turn.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has copied:

You are not in a situationship. You are texting a man who doesn’t like you.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has copied:

I followed my heart, and it led me to the fridge.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has downloaded:

Money will not leave you on read for 9 hours.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has copied:

I get it, credit cards, I’ve reached my limit too.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Slack:

Nurse: “This may hurt.” Me: “My life hasn’t been much fun either.”

Spotted on Slack:

Put my height in bio. Hope it lands me a girlfriend.

Breaking via X:

It’s fun getting room service. I just love eating a $19 hamburger at a desk in front of a mirror.

Trending via Facebook:

My Native American name would be Smokes Cigarettes.

Making waves on Messenger:

Imagine how loud a centipede would be if they wore tiny little flip flops.

Making waves on Instagram:

They need to increase life expectancy so I can squeeze in another mid-life crisis.

Just shared via Telegram:

Remember, when a package says “sharing size”, that’s just a guideline. They have no enforcement mechanism.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

How many calories does an audible sigh burn? Because I don’t think my Apple Watch is giving me credit for them.

Trending via TikTok:

Relationship status: We have changed from “I love you” to “I love YouTube”.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

I can’t wait for the “international law” crowd to discover that “human rights” aren’t real, either.

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