Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Ah, the classic 'healthy eating' logic at its finest! 🥕🍰 Who knew adding sugar and flour to a vegetable could make it so delicious? 😂 Time to balance those vitamins and calories like a true pro chef! Happy baking!"

cake, carrot, cooking, dessert, eat, eating, food, healthy, healthy eating, humor, i, irony, later, need, vegetable, vegetables

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Forget carrying me to bed; carry me to the end of the workweek. Then we can talk.

0

2 months ago

bed, carry, end, exhaustion, forget, humor, me, relaxation, talk, weekend, workweek
Therapy is cool but singing as loud as you can in your car is free.

0

2 months ago

activity, car, cool, free, fun, fun activity, humor, loud, relief, self-care, singing, stress, stress relief, therapy
Adulting’s a total scam. Bills, taxes, and a laundry pile that breeds in the dark, were not in the brochure!

0

2 months ago

adulthood, adulting, bill, bills, brochure, chore, complaint, dark, humor, laundry, life, life struggle, pile, responsibility, scam, struggle, tax
Slapping the TV remote on your knee extends the battery life. It’s science.

0

2 months ago

battery, hack, humor, knee, life, life hack, remote, science, slap, technology, TV
Turns out strange women lying in ponds distributing swords was a better basis for a system of government actually.

0

2 months ago

absurdity, actually, better, government, humor, lying, pond, strange, strange woman, sword, system, woman, women
Give yourself time to heal. A couple of decades should do it.

0

5 months ago

couple, decades, give, heal, healing, humor, long wait, patience, recovery, self-care, should, time, wait, yourself

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

65 shares on Pinterest this month:

I stopped understanding math when the alphabet decided to get involved.

57 shares on Twitch this month:

But are we sure that stomachs are meant to be flat?

22 shares on Discord this month:

Y’all made fun of Plankton on Spongebob for dating a computer, and look at y’all now.

12 shares on Twitch this month:

The next man who speaks to me will be sacrificed to the gods for a bountiful harvest.

24 shares on Discord this month:

Sorry to any bands who see me yawn during their show. It’s not you, it’s just past 10pm.

65 shares on Twitch this month:

If you ever need me, call me any time, day or night, and I’ll return your call when I get around to it.

98 shares on YouTube this month:

Me, when a 25-year-old talks to me: please be patient with me, I’m from the 1900s.

69 shares on Messenger this month:

Putting a hot frying pan into a sink running with cold water makes me feel like a blacksmith.

29 shares on LinkedIn this month:

When I like a song, I repeat it until the artist comes out and ask for water.

24 shares on Snapchat this month:

Home is where the tap water doesn’t taste funny.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇷 has bookmarked:

I be like, “Awwwww cows,” and then go and eat two double cheeseburgers, lol.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has bookmarked:

I have no beef with vegetarians.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has shared:

I thrive in a waiting room. You need me to sit in a chair and look at my phone? No worries, love, I do this at home.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has bookmarked:

My save-for-later cart on Amazon is up to about $1.5 million dollars.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has downloaded:

A bridesmaid, but to carry the end of my CVS receipt.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has shared:

Adults are always asking children what they want to be when they grow up because they’re looking for ideas.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has viewed:

I wonder if Van Halen realized they were writing music just to lift weights to.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has viewed:

Me in hell: “So did it hurt when you fell from heaven.” Lucifer: “Get out!”

Someone from 🇹🇴 has shared:

Blocking someone isn’t enough, I want them to get lice.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has copied:

I don’t understand why people have to “get ready for bed.” I am always ready for bed.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

In a relationship with my heated car seat.

Making waves on Facebook:

Some people graduate with honors, I am just honored to graduate.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Grandparents were right. Sitting in a chair, doing nothing, and staring at nature is incredible.

Just shared via Pinterest:

The one nice thing about your friends’ divorces is no one invites you to them.

Spotted on Twitch:

I don’t mind pulling your cart — I’ve been chasing the carrot anyway, and it’s in the same direction.

Live now on Twitch:

Snaccident: eating a whole bag of Doritos in one sitting.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Yes, I am super annoying, but don’t worry, it’s just permanent.

Just landed via Discord:

I am losing touch with reality and I couldn’t be happier.

Live now on Slack:

Until I open the wrapper and look inside it’s Schrödinger’s Kit Kat.

Seen just now on Telegram:

I only accept apologies in cash.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I’ve decided that I need to eat more vegetables, so I’m gonna make a carrot cake later.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Forget carrying me to bed; carry me to the end of the workweek. Then we can talk.

Therapy is cool but singing as loud as you can in your car is free.

Adulting’s a total scam. Bills, taxes, and a laundry pile that breeds in the dark, were not in the brochure!

Slapping the TV remote on your knee extends the battery life. It’s science.

Turns out strange women lying in ponds distributing swords was a better basis for a system of government actually.

Give yourself time to heal. A couple of decades should do it.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨