Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇾 has shared:

Normalize asking if this is an intervention whenever someone invites you over.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has bookmarked:

Do men know they don’t have to date if they’re not over their ex?

Someone from 🇸🇩 has copied:

If I was a Spice Girl I would be Mild to Medium Spice.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has downloaded:

I am on a diet where you just speak Italian: “Pasta,” “Pizza,” and “I’m leaving Rooma for dessert.”

Someone from 🇸🇪 has copied:

Every time I see a dog with its head out a window, I know it’s having a better day than I am.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has copied:

One of my biggest fears during a zombie apocalypse is having to sleep without a fan.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has viewed:

I miss my kids the most when they go to bed and the mosquitoes go after me because they have no other options.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has downloaded:

I like to keep my wife guessing by walking around the backyard carrying a ladder and a chainsaw.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has copied:

Grant me the serenity to supernaturally change the things I cannot accept.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has bookmarked:

One of the biggest struggles of being an adult is deciding what to make for supper. Every. Single. Night.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

239 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,508

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,508

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,573

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Telegram:

I’m on a spinning rock in outer space, and I have to answer work emails.

Trending via Instagram:

If you’re feeling lonely, start a small business. Then you’ll have a little company.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

I love surprising my metabolism. It never knows what’s coming—either absolute starvation or 1,000+ calories all at once.

Just landed via Discord:

I lied, there’s no sex. I just needed help getting out of my skinny jeans.

Making waves on Pinterest:

I am dressing for the job I want. I want to be a sweatpants model.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Airbnb should have an option if you just want to use someone’s bathroom for a few minutes.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

Beds are always the coziest when it’s time to get up and you don’t want to.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

When I like a woman, I start to gather gifts for her like a squirrel hoarding nuts.

Trending via Messenger:

Guy who normally applauds when the plane lands right before the pilot crashes it: “Boo!”

Making waves on Twitch:

Welcome to adulthood. You have a favorite gas station now.

I’ve decided that I’m going to underthink today.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
What a brilliant plan! Time to let my brain go on a mini-vacation! 🌴🧠😅

decision, going, humor, mindset, procrastination, today, underthink

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

So tonight me and my phone are playing hide and seek. So far my phone is winning.

0

2 months ago

activity, game, hide, hide and seek, me, night, phone, seek, winning
The neighbor girl told my kids she wouldn’t come over until they cleaned their rooms, so I guess I do have a favorite child.

0

2 months ago

child, chore, clean, clean room, cleaned, excuse, family, favorite, favorite child, girl, guess, humor, i, kids, neighbor, over, parenting, room, rooms, told
Adult life sucks. Friends don’t even ask to see how fast you can run in your new shoes anymore.

0

2 months ago

activity, adult, adult life, ask, childhood, even, fast, friends, fun, fun activity, growing, growing up, life, new, new sh, nostalgia, run, running, sh, sucks
I love doing research. I will look up some stuff in a minute.

0

2 days ago

doing, humor, i, joke, laziness, love, minute, procrastination, research, science, study, stuff
The feelings I have for Tom Cruise are the closest approximation I have to what patriotism must feel like.

0

2 months ago

admiration, celebrity, cruise, feel, feelings, humor, i, patriotism, tom, Tom Cruise
My wife and I always eat dinner as fast as possible so we can have a popsicle.

0

2 months ago

activity, couple, dinner, eat, eating, fast, fast eating, food, fun, fun activity, humor, popsicle, wife

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

29 shares on WeChat this month:

My girlfriend treats me like a god. She ignores my existence and only talks to me when she needs something.

44 shares on Instagram this month:

Maybe the real American dream is the debt we collected along the way.

13 shares on Reddit this month:

Can’t. Inventing new things to worry about.

98 shares on Discord this month:

I don’t understand my wardrobe. It’s full, but I don’t have clothes.

95 shares on Threads this month:

We decided to have money instead of children.

33 shares on X this month:

I’m actually quite nice. If I had friends, they’d all confirm that.

65 shares on WeChat this month:

I am in favor of equal pay for men on OnlyFans.

41 shares on TikTok this month:

Dear algorithm, only show this post to the most attractive and successful people.

13 shares on Messenger this month:

But are we sure that stomachs are meant to be flat?

82 shares on Instagram this month:

If you think I’m annoying, give it some time. You’ll know for sure pretty soon.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇲 has downloaded:

A Southerner dies every time you people type “ya’ll” instead of “y’all,” btw.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has viewed:

You want me to pay attention to the details? The thing the devil is in?

Someone from 🇸🇧 has viewed:

How does one stop eating ice cream when there’s still some in the container?

Someone from 🇵🇭 has viewed:

I believe in you. I also believe in Bigfoot so don’t get too excited.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has shared:

We all need to put the phone down, or it’s over for civilization.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has copied:

I am at my Thanksgiving table observing personality disorders that have not been identified yet.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has shared:

I actually think my version of the lyrics makes more sense.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has downloaded:

In America we have marijuana. In France they have oui’d.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has copied:

You don’t scare me, you’re not my ID photo.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has viewed:

There are a 100 billions nerves in the human body, and there are people who have the ability to irritate all of them.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Facebook:

Coworker: Hey, circling back on that thing we talked about in December. Me: Stop living in the past!

Seen just now on Pinterest:

The sluttiest thing a man can do is have an ethical dilemma over his lust for you.

Spotted on Slack:

Selling porn is gross, but selling food and small household items is grocer.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

The tarot lady on my TikTok said that you miss me.

Just landed via Twitch:

Sorry, I wasn’t really listening but that’s awesome, unless it isn’t of course.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

I kind of enjoy living in a world where I can end a conversation by simply not texting back.

Seen just now on X:

I have a sundress and no man to bend me over in it, sad day.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

I’m not crazy, I’m just mentally spicy.

Trending via Discord:

The devil couldn’t reach me so he made sure my love life was bullshit.

Seen just now on Slack:

My signature move is always learning my lessons the hard way.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I’ve decided that I’m going to underthink today.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

So tonight me and my phone are playing hide and seek. So far my phone is winning.

The neighbor girl told my kids she wouldn’t come over until they cleaned their rooms, so I guess I do have a favorite child.

Adult life sucks. Friends don’t even ask to see how fast you can run in your new shoes anymore.

I love doing research. I will look up some stuff in a minute.

The feelings I have for Tom Cruise are the closest approximation I have to what patriotism must feel like.

My wife and I always eat dinner as fast as possible so we can have a popsicle.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨