Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇴 has copied:

I would describe my personal style as whatever is on top of the pile of clothes on the floor.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has downloaded:

I don’t freak out until I see the Buddhists freaking out.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has shared:

Before I work on myself, does anyone like me unhinged?

Someone from 🇨🇫 has copied:

You should be able to donate somebody else’s body to science.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has shared:

I like listening to music in languages I don’t speak because sometimes I just don’t wanna know what anybody is talking about.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has downloaded:

Why do birds love going apeshit first thing in the morning?

Someone from 🇰🇬 has bookmarked:

I’m either at work, going to work, coming home from work, sleeping for work, getting ready for work, or thinking about work.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has downloaded:

You’re not a knight in shining armor, you’re just a knob in Under Armour.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has bookmarked:

Ask your girlfriend for her ring size and then give her a personalized bowling ball.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has downloaded:

I’ll never salute you, General Settings.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Jan 2, 2026

3,542

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Messenger:

Sorry for texting you back instantly. My phone was in my hand, and I’m mature and actually like you.

Making waves on Snapchat:

I try not to laugh at my own jokes, but we all know I’m hilarious.

Just landed via Twitch:

I don’t need to learn something new, I need to remember something old, like why did I come into this room?

Trending via YouTube:

I tell it like it is: Sometimes I watch the calls on my cell phone and just wait for it to stop ringing.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

I wish my hair had as much volume as my mouth.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Computers used to scream out in pain when we connected to the internet. This was a warning and we did not heed it.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

I tried selling my soul to the devil, and he said no.

Going viral on TikTok:

Congratulations to the sweater, another year of being the most disgustingly named piece of clothing.

Trending via Threads:

Since I tolerate gluten and lactose well, I can afford a few intolerances in the interpersonal area.

Spotted on Reddit:

Maturing is realizing you’re not stable enough to do mushrooms.

Laundry has to be the most sinister chore. Always waiting, always lurking.

2 months ago

0

Laundry has to be the most sinister chore. Always waiting, always lurking.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, yes, the dark and devious laundry – the ultimate ninja of household tasks! 🧺⚔️ Never underestimate its stealthy ways as it waits in the shadows, ready to strike when you least expect it! Beware the menacing piles of socks and the cunning conspiracy of missing socks! 😂 #LaundryNinja"

always, chore, household, humor, laundry, lurking, most, relatable, sinister, tasks, waiting

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Nothing guarantees running into someone you know in public better than looking like a feral animal on two hours of sleep.

0

2 months ago

animal, better, encounter, feral, feral animal, funny observation, hours, know, looking, nothing, observation, public, running, running into someone, sleep, social, social encounter, someone
Oligarchy sounds like something you dip your breadstick in at the olive garden.

0

2 months ago

breadstick, comparison, dip, food, food humor, funny comparison, garden, humor, joke, oligarchy, olive, olive garden, restaurant, restaurant joke, something, sounds
Another day of waking up cute instead of wealthy, so I guess I have to go to work.

0

4 months ago

another, cute, daily, daily life, day, guess, humor, i, life, morning, motivation, waking, waking up, wealthy, work
Arkansas is just Kansas for pirates.

0

2 months ago

Arkansas, comparison, funny comparison, geography, humor, just, Kansas, pirates, wordplay
People be like “I love your energy” – then drain it.

0

2 months ago

drain, energy, humor, i, interaction, love, people, personality, sarcasm, social, social interaction, vibe
Gonna waterboard my houseplants so they know who’s the boss.

0

2 months ago

authority, boss, care, gardening, houseplant, humor, joke, plant, plant care, waterboard, waterboarding

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

55 shares on Threads this month:

It’s crazy how genuinely entertaining it is to stare into an open fire. That’s some real epigenetic memory shit.

98 shares on Pinterest this month:

Life is basically avoiding people who have seen you naked, whilst trying to find new people to see you naked.

71 shares on Snapchat this month:

I know which nation I like best. Hibernation.

49 shares on WeChat this month:

I miss the old days back in 1955, when I didn’t exist.

54 shares on Pinterest this month:

A Southerner dies every time you people type “ya’ll” instead of “y’all,” btw.

52 shares on Discord this month:

Monday morning looks like Jack Nicholson breaking through the door in The Shining.

87 shares on Twitch this month:

The Cranberries. Great band name. You pick a fruit and you get to work.

64 shares on LinkedIn this month:

God created childbirth so women could know how men feel when we have a cold.

52 shares on Threads this month:

Just let your girlfriend be crazy, like who cares, bro.

67 shares on Instagram this month:

The billionaires have decided that the people with nothing have too much.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I talk to myself in the same condescending tone, so you’re not special.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Tried to sleep by reading a boring book and now it’s suddenly the most interesting book.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

The meeting of the Anonymous Pessimists was canceled. It wouldn’t have helped anyway.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

“Who does she think she is?” Well, it appears she is someone living her life unconcerned with who you think she is.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I lied, there’s no sex. Stand over there and tell me if this painting I’m hanging is straight.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

The real me comes out at midnight (it’s just me spending money online).

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Santa punched a hole in my wall because I left him soy milk.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

If I ever experience an earthquake, my first thought will probably be it’s Godzilla.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

If snails are so slow, why don’t we ever see them coming? It’s just BAM, there’s a snail.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Every house is a dream house when you can’t afford one.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,426

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇵 has copied:

Dear Black Friday… We all have big TVs now, put the groceries on sale.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has bookmarked:

Blocking anyone who tries to motivate me.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has downloaded:

I do not care how bad the relationship is, I am NOT calling a radio station for advice.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has shared:

I hate it when I gain 20 pounds for a role and then realize I’m not an actor.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has downloaded:

Iced coffee and crying, the most Californian afternoon.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has copied:

I wish I loved anything as much as people love to say they are “thrilled” on LinkedIn.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has viewed:

Slipping into something a little more comfortable (psychosis).

Someone from 🇫🇲 has bookmarked:

If anyone wants to sponsor me, I’ll be running a 0.002K this weekend to raise awareness for laziness.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has downloaded:

I accidentally hit a parked car, so I left them a note that said “next time it will be you”.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has downloaded:

My problem is I always think I can get ready in 15 minutes when I have repeatedly proven that I can’t.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via LinkedIn:

It’s like no one in my family appreciates that I stayed up all night overthinking for them.

Trending via Instagram:

On the next episode of Hoarders, they visit my subconscious.

Spotted on Discord:

Girlhood is taking hundreds of pictures only to post one or none at all.

Just landed via Messenger:

People who play golf don’t concern me nearly as much as the people who watch it.

Going viral on Twitch:

Wanted to report a YouTube video, but there is no option for “Cringe”, so I just picked “Terrorism”.

Live now on Discord:

Stop being so boyfriendable if you can’t be my boyfriend.

Going viral on Slack:

I signed up to the gym a few months ago and still don’t see any results. I’ll go by there this weekend and ask what’s going on.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

Getting mad when an app updates and changes their format is the new “rearranged grocery store” for me.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

If there was an award for staying at home, I’d win and then send someone else to pick it up for me.

Just shared via YouTube:

Single bells, single bells, single all the way. Oh, what fun it is to watch those couples fight all day, yay!

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