Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Ah, the ultimate test of laziness – lying next to your charger, embracing the inevitable demise of your phone's battery 😂🔋 #LazyGoals"

am, charger, die, humor, i, lazy, next, phone, procrastination, relatable, waiting

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Commenting “AI slop” on a high school acquaintance’s Instagram post of their newborn baby.

0

1 month ago

acquaintance, AI, awkward, awkward interaction, baby, comment, high, high school, humor, Instagram, interaction, media, newborn, post, school, social, social media
Shazam-ing a song in public feels the same as taking out a big hammer and bonking yourself on the head.

0

2 months ago

awkward, awkward moment, big, bonk, comparison, feels, funny comparison, hammer, head, moment, music, music recognition, public, recognition, same, Shazam, song, taking, yourself
Please help my husband and I decide on dinner. We’ve narrowed it down to “It doesn’t matter” and “It’s your turn to choose”.

0

2 months ago

choice, communication, couple, decision, dinner, food, help, humor, husband, i, relationship, turn
I’m like Pooh Bear. I just want to eat, hang with my homies, and go around pantsless.

0

2 months ago

around, bear, casual, eat, eating, friends, hang, hanging, hanging out, humor, i, just, pantsless, pooh, Pooh Bear, relaxed, want
Only after moving in together do you realize your girlfriend’s little quirks. Mine, for example, stores vegetables in the beer compartment.

0

2 months ago

beer, example, girlfriend, humor, little, mine, moving, moving in, quirks, realize, relationship, storage, stores, together, vegetables
I just paid my taxes. The roads should be fixed any day now.

0

2 months ago

day, expectation, fix, humor, i, irony, joke, just, paid, payment, road, should, ta, tax

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

47 shares on WeChat this month:

If I was polyamorous, I think Id date my girlfriend three times.

55 shares on Reddit this month:

Is he trying to pronounce “charcuterie” or is he having a stroke?

88 shares on Slack this month:

Don’t cry because it’s over. Cry because you have an extra hour to think about it.

87 shares on Threads this month:

It doesn’t matter how old you get, buying snacks for a road trip should always look like an unsupervised 9-year-old was given $100.

14 shares on X this month:

Old people get so mad when you’re young and tired.

39 shares on X this month:

Oh no, we don’t go in there. That room belongs to the spiders.

75 shares on Instagram this month:

I’m not feeling very worky today.

85 shares on TikTok this month:

My brain logged me out due to inactivity, and I can’t remember the password.

44 shares on Slack this month:

Every time a Taco Bell rings, an angel gets diarrhea.

24 shares on X this month:

Your email finds me deeply unwell. Teetering on the edge really.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇭 has downloaded:

My kid’s superpower is knowing he won’t like a food before he even tries it.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has bookmarked:

I will charge a 25% tariff on my steely gaze.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has viewed:

I’m planning to save money on Christmas gifts this year by wrapping up all the toys my toddler dropped behind the couch.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has shared:

Clothes too dirty for the closet, but too clean for laundry. Welcome to: the chair.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has downloaded:

Trying is the first step toward failure.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has downloaded:

Automated phone system: To speak to a representative, please enter the last twelve digits of Pi.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has viewed:

“I have an AI boyfriend.” No, you don’t. It’s Adam and Eve or Adam and Steve, not Adam and USB.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has downloaded:

When I say I love the ocean, I mean I love the surface. Whatever goes on beneath has my respect, but it’s none of my business.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has downloaded:

Politics top tip: Gain people’s trust by telling them that everyone is lying to them.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has bookmarked:

Opening this app is like lighting a cigarette.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Twitch:

I hate the saying: “Get up, the sun is shining!” What am I supposed to do? Photosynthesis?

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Very confusing that gross pay is before tax. I always find the number way grosser after tax.

Live now on YouTube:

If my wife doesn’t win anything on this $2 scratch ticket, it’s going to go down as one of the worst birthday presents ever.

Trending via Telegram:

Referring to my boss’s wife as my boss-in-law.

Live now on TikTok:

The voodoo magic of a tranquil night’s sleep

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Sorry I was late, I was disassociating in the shower.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Pretty sure I need to go back to bed and sleep for 3 days.

Trending via X:

Together, I can beat schizophrenia.

Live now on Telegram:

The adult version of “head, shoulders, knees and toes” is “wallet, glasses, keys and phone.”

Just shared via Facebook:

Sex without love is a meaningless experience, but as far as meaningless experiences go its pretty damn good.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Laying next to my charger waiting for my phone to die, that’s how lazy I am.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Commenting “AI slop” on a high school acquaintance’s Instagram post of their newborn baby.

Shazam-ing a song in public feels the same as taking out a big hammer and bonking yourself on the head.

Please help my husband and I decide on dinner. We’ve narrowed it down to “It doesn’t matter” and “It’s your turn to choose”.

I’m like Pooh Bear. I just want to eat, hang with my homies, and go around pantsless.

Only after moving in together do you realize your girlfriend’s little quirks. Mine, for example, stores vegetables in the beer compartment.

I just paid my taxes. The roads should be fixed any day now.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨