Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • If you show her you care, she will keep you as a spare.
  • I was born to be wild, but only until around 9pm or so.
  • I’m so old, I used to block people by simply holding the door shut.
  • Texting my boss from the job I got laid off from 5 months ago and telling him I have diarrhea.
  • I’m super lazy today. It’s like normal lazy but I’m wearing a cape.
  • You look like you take lavender bubble baths with rose petals, surrounded by candles, bro.