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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇮 has bookmarked:

The IRS needs special envelopes for when you’re not in trouble.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has downloaded:

Bold of you to assume I have the energy to even climb a hill to die on.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has downloaded:

Pornhub be like “Your phone got a virus,” bro, just play the bloody video.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has downloaded:

Babies invented being in a bad mood for no reason, and they continue to innovate in the field.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has shared:

Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves?

Someone from 🇸🇷 has shared:

You ever just see a tree and be like, “Bob Ross would’ve liked this one”?

Someone from 🇵🇱 has bookmarked:

Maybe I’ll quit so I can focus on summer.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has shared:

Sometimes I can’t believe people have had the honor of experiencing my love and chose to hurt me instead.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has copied:

I was the most patient parent and then I had kids.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has shared:

A middle finger hits different when your nails are done.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,576

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Threads:

The phrase “Treat yourself” has ruined my bank account and waistline.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

How many sit-ups do I have to do before I get a six-pack? Please say 5.

Spotted on Messenger:

I’d probably be a very chill werewolf, even during a full moon.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

My favorite machine at the gym is the one where you put change in, and snacks come out.

Just landed via WeChat:

“Are you seeing someone?” Like a hallucination, therapist, or a guy?

Broadcasted on Reddit:

Hey, wanna intertwine delusions and make them a reality or nah?

Shared recently on Reddit:

The only joke my mom ever made was me.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

I’m at the gym and I just saw someone put their water bottle in the Pringles holder on the treadmill.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

Once married, the woman takes over the entire closet and the man stores everything he owns in his left cargo pocket.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

You want fast replies from a female? Argue with her!

Letting the sun have its way with my freckles today.

5 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Trying to unlock the secret level of Connect-the-Dots on my face with solar power ☀️😆✨

freckle, humor, letting, outdoor, skin, summer, sun, sunbathing, today

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I hope your spoon slides into your soup.

0

2 months ago

food, hope, humor, i, kitchen, soup, spoon, wish
It’s funny how cats have ears on top of their head, but don’t use them.

0

2 months ago

animals, cat, cats, ears, head, humor, observation, pet, top
The biggest first-world problem is having your favorite makeup product be discontinued.

0

2 months ago

beauty, beauty product, cosmetics, discontinued, favorite, first-world, first-world problem, frustration, having, lover, makeup, makeup lover, problem, product
Double chins are better than double faces.

0

2 months ago

better, body, body positivity, chin, double, double chin, double face, face, faces, humor, positivity, self-image
“Do it scared!” Thanks, but I have done everything scared. When is it my turn to do it calm?

0

2 months ago

anxiety, bravery, calm, confidence, courage, done, everything, fear, humor, humor quote, i, motivation, relatable, scared, self-awareness, self-improvement, thanks, turn
Sure, sex is great, but have you ever closed a dozen tabs after finishing an academic paper?

0

1 month ago

academic, academic paper, after, browsing, closed, ever, frustration, great, humor, internet, internet browsing, life, multitasking, paper, productivity, sex, student, student life, sure, tabs

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

93 shares on X this month:

I’m pretty sure my husband’s favorite sound is the oven range fan turning on when I start making dinner.

38 shares on Instagram this month:

I wouldn’t trust a single one of you with a flying car.

23 shares on X this month:

Once you are able to find humor in any situation, you’ve either reached enlightenment or you’re just a little unhinged.

69 shares on YouTube this month:

Ginger ale is the champagne of soda.

45 shares on Reddit this month:

I wish I was a cat, because the fatter you are, the more people like you.

90 shares on Facebook this month:

If you’re partying with your cousin and you’re asked if you’re related, “Our parents are siblings” will cause a lot of confusion.

85 shares on Facebook this month:

Welcome to your 40s, the best part of your day is now the heated seats in your car after a long day.

79 shares on Discord this month:

Asking for a cigarette, then adding it to my own pack.

59 shares on Twitch this month:

I kind of can’t wait for my generation to be bumping 90’s hip hop, rap, and heavy metal at the old folks’ homes.

17 shares on Pinterest this month:

Trying to win an argument online is sociopathic. I would concede anything to get a stranger to leave me alone.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇹 has copied:

I love canceling plans. I didn’t want to go in the first place. I just wanted to be invited.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has downloaded:

Aliens are gonna be super confused when they show up threatening to overthrow our leaders and we’re all stoked and offer to help.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has copied:

A long time ago, being crazy meant something. Nowadays, everybody is crazy.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has shared:

Daniel Craig leaving Bond to become Benoit Blanc is one of the best things to ever happen.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has bookmarked:

Dear algorithm, please show this post only to people who have innate psionic abilities and would use their abilities for the betterment of humanity if given a chance.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has copied:

Welcome to adulthood. The weekend is your only time to catch up on everything, but also your only time to do absolutely nothing.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has viewed:

For whom the Fetty Waps.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has copied:

I really want a family… sized bag of peanut butter M&Ms.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has bookmarked:

I believe in Bigfoot because Bigfoot believes in me.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has viewed:

Really love how dancing alone in your room can literally save your life.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Reddit:

How dare you say I’m crazy on the eve of my cat’s wedding?

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

At my age, getting up early just means that I had to go pee, and I couldn’t hold it anymore.

Broadcasted on Threads:

You can’t truly refer to yourself as an adult until you catch yourself getting really angry when the grocery store changes their layout.

Freshly posted on Threads:

You don’t use a semicolons correctly; you use a semicolon confidently.

Making waves on Twitch:

Being Leonardo DiCaprio is like driving in a school zone. You don’t go above twenty-five.

Making waves on WeChat:

Is it smoky eye or were you wearing mascara and your eyes got itchy?

Spreading quickly via Threads:

You think you’re raising your kids right, and then one of them decides to be a fan of your football team’s arch rival.

Spotted on Facebook:

Bears and worms have almost nothing in common. But gummy bears and gummy worms? Very similar.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Everyone says “Do what makes you happy”, until you push them down the stairs.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Being abducted by aliens could be just the vacation I need right now.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Letting the sun have its way with my freckles today.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I hope your spoon slides into your soup.

It’s funny how cats have ears on top of their head, but don’t use them.

The biggest first-world problem is having your favorite makeup product be discontinued.

Double chins are better than double faces.

“Do it scared!” Thanks, but I have done everything scared. When is it my turn to do it calm?

Sure, sex is great, but have you ever closed a dozen tabs after finishing an academic paper?

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨