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"Life is like a rollercoaster that ends with a really abrupt drop-off 🎢😂. So buckle up, enjoy the ride, and try not to spill your popcorn! 🍿😄"

die, existential, humor, irony, life, reality, weird

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“Easy like Sunday morning” is something people with no kids say.

1 month ago
easy, family, family life, humor, kids, life, morning, parenting, people, relaxation, say, sleep, something, Sunday, Sunday morning
In honor of the fall equinox, I will also be cold, distant and filled with darkness.

1 month ago
autumn, change, cold, darkness, distant, equinox, fall, fall equinox, filled, honor, humor, i, seasonal, seasonal change, wit
Beavers are also just otters that have learned carpentry.

1 month ago
animal, animal humor, beaver, carpentry, comparison, funny comparison, humor, just, nature, otter, woodworking
I think I’m closer to retirement than to a relationship.

1 month ago
age, closer, commitment, dating, humor, i, life, life stage, relationship, retirement, single, stage, think
Lately, when I meet new people, I ask them what their hobbies are instead of what they do for work, and let me tell you, the conversations have been absolutely top tier!

1 month ago
absolutely, ask, conversation, conversations, hobby, humor, i, interaction, let, me, meet, new, new people, people, skill, small, small talk, social, social interaction, social skill, talk, tell, tier, top, top tier, work
I’m just here trying to spread a little joy while the world burns. Is that so wrong?

1 month ago
attitude, dark, dark humor, here, humor, irony, joy, just, little, mood, optimism, positivity, resilience, spread, trying, while, world, wrong

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Someone from 🇲🇪 has downloaded:

You look like you can go as yourself for Halloween.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has bookmarked:

I’m sorry for inventing the universe.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has shared:

I want the dreams to chase me for once.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has copied:

Why do chefs always have to cut everything so fast? It’s just an onion man, why don’t you relax?

Someone from 🇧🇦 has bookmarked:

I’m trying to quit making sexual innuendos but it’s so hard.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has copied:

I don’t drink alcohol. I like suffering raw.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has copied:

I want the job where I push scared skydivers out of planes.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Discord:

You just can’t live a full life on an empty stomach.

Making waves on Threads:

Quality women really do attract everyone. A bright light always attracts all types of bugs.

Shared recently on Instagram:

This could have been an email. Me, while attending a wedding ceremony.

Live now on LinkedIn:

I welcome change as long as nothing is altered or different than before.

Going viral on X:

Just saw two identical twins out in public together. No disrespect to that lifestyle but please keep it private.

Breaking via Messenger:

Not trying to brag but this cop says my rear end is smoking.

Shared recently on Messenger:

They say the best things take time. That’s why I’m always late.

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Life is weird and then you die.

“Easy like Sunday morning” is something people with no kids say.

In honor of the fall equinox, I will also be cold, distant and filled with darkness.

Beavers are also just otters that have learned carpentry.

I think I’m closer to retirement than to a relationship.

I’m just here trying to spread a little joy while the world burns. Is that so wrong?

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

How dare my boss set up a meeting for the time I sneak off early?

When they dress up really nice, but all you can think about is the thrill of taking it off.

With great power comes a great electricity bill.

Welcome to middle age, where you wake up hungover whether you’ve had a drink or not.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

The sexual tension between me and buying more books.

Getting the ick because he put the windshield wipers on at a higher rate than was needed.

It’s a fabulous time to be alive if you love: verification codes, verifying your email, yelling ‘REAL PERSON’ into a phone at a robot, reading nightmarish news all day, every day, hot.

A fabric tomato filled with needles. Don’t see that much anymore.

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Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

The hottest thing a man can be is boring in his 30s.

He was only called Mr. Pepper until he published his groundbreaking research on fizzics.

Unfortunately, free coffee in the office will never hit like a $9 iced latte will.

As a retiree, I have two pairs of pajamas. Bedtime and daytime. Sometimes I get them confused.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

The first thing you learn to draw in art school is money from your parents bank account.

Went jogging and came back after five minutes because I forgot something. Forgot I’m out of shape.

You know that tingly little feeling you get when you like someone? That’s common sense leaving your body.

There’s a word in modern Hungarian slang, egérmozi, which describes watching films (or shows) on your phone. It means “mouse cinema”.

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Life is weird and then you die.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

“Easy like Sunday morning” is something people with no kids say.

In honor of the fall equinox, I will also be cold, distant and filled with darkness.

Beavers are also just otters that have learned carpentry.

I think I’m closer to retirement than to a relationship.

Lately, when I meet new people, I ask them what their hobbies are instead of what they do for work, and let me tell you, the conversations have been absolutely top tier!

I’m just here trying to spread a little joy while the world burns. Is that so wrong?

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Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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