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Commentary:
"Life is like a rollercoaster that ends with a really abrupt drop-off 🎢😂. So buckle up, enjoy the ride, and try not to spill your popcorn! 🍿😄"

die, existential, humor, irony, life, reality, weird

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Elections make you feel like we’re all in divorce court waiting to see who gets custody of us.

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2 months ago

court, custody, divorce, elections, feel, humor, politics, society, us, waiting
I keep my eyes in great shape by rolling them constantly.

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2 months ago

eyes, fitness, great, great shape, humor, i, joke, keep, rolling, self-care, shape
Who the hell keeps letting it be Monday again?

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5 months ago

again, complaint, day, frustration, hell, humor, keeps, letting, Monday, time, week, workday
The only traditional costume people around me wear is sweatpants.

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2 months ago

around, casual, casual wear, comfort, costume, fashion, humor, lifestyle, me, only, people, sweatpants, traditional, traditional costume, wear
Somebody needs to get my shit together.

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2 months ago

humor, motivation, need, needs, procrastination, self-improvement, shit, somebody, together
Once again, I have fallen for life’s biggest scam: being two hours early for a flight only for security to take roughly seven minutes.

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2 months ago

again, airport, arrival, being, early, early arrival, flight, frustration, hours, humor, i, management, minutes, once, only, scam, security, take, time, time management, travel

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

52 shares on WeChat this month:

Dear diary, sorry for only ever talking about myself. How are you? Do you have any hobbies?

59 shares on WeChat this month:

If you start liking someone, just block them. Follow me for more relationship advice.

91 shares on Facebook this month:

If people continue to behave so badly, I will donate my organs to an animal shelter.

63 shares on Snapchat this month:

I’ve taken a long, hard look at myself. I won’t be doing that again.

17 shares on Telegram this month:

Randomly hearing your favorite song is more satisfying than putting it on yourself.

58 shares on Pinterest this month:

Today I broke my personal record for most consecutive days lived.

49 shares on LinkedIn this month:

All I care about is being financially stable and getting sexier.

12 shares on Twitch this month:

They should invent a situationship that turns into something beautiful.

75 shares on Instagram this month:

The first bowl of cereal makes you want a second, but the second makes you wish you stopped at the first.

53 shares on Messenger this month:

I could own a thousand summer dresses, and it still wouldn’t be enough.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇳 has shared:

Remember before social media you would have to pick up the phone and call someone to tell them how much you love bacon?

Someone from 🇳🇮 has copied:

There should be a day between Sunday and Monday called Hang on a Second.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has downloaded:

Things I hate about group work: The group.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has downloaded:

If liars’ pants really did catch on fire, watching the news would be a lot more fun.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has shared:

The belief that software engineers are uniquely intelligent has done unimaginable damage on society.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has bookmarked:

Your honor, when I said I wanted to be held, I didn’t mean in contempt.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has shared:

If you think my heart is cold, you should feel my feet.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has bookmarked:

They monitor me harder than Britney Spears around here.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has bookmarked:

Adulting is difficult. One minute you’re proud of yourself, the next minute you feel like you’re not doing enough.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has shared:

Remember: if nobody hates you, you’re not trying hard enough.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on TikTok:

Anyone who thinks things have got so bad that they can only get better is showing a remarkable lack of imagination.

Shared recently on WeChat:

You look like something I drew with my left hand.

Going viral on Reddit:

There is a giant spider on my dash so I’m going to have to buy a new car now.

Just shared via Snapchat:

The true horror genre: my old Facebook statuses.

Just landed via Twitch:

I can always tell what part of my cycle I’m in by how concerned my friends are over my Tweets.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

I never had a year with this much thinking. I’ve been thinking since the 1st.

Live now on Messenger:

If I’m ever in a coma, please put chapstick on my lips.

Trending via YouTube:

Calm yourself, Lucifer. You did the right thing coming to me for advice.

Live now on YouTube:

I have no beef with vegetarians.

Shared recently on Discord:

I love reaching into my messy bag looking for something and everyone around me hears like glass breaking and bombs going off and a cat meowing from inside there.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Life is weird and then you die.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Elections make you feel like we’re all in divorce court waiting to see who gets custody of us.

I keep my eyes in great shape by rolling them constantly.

Who the hell keeps letting it be Monday again?

The only traditional costume people around me wear is sweatpants.

Somebody needs to get my shit together.

Once again, I have fallen for life’s biggest scam: being two hours early for a flight only for security to take roughly seven minutes.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨