Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇼🇸 has downloaded:

What’s the opposite of FOMO? The feeling of knowing you made the right decision not going somewhere once you see or hear dispatches from it.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has shared:

It’s lowkey nothing else to do except become a better version of yourself, lol.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has downloaded:

Ok. I blinked 182 times. What happens now?

Someone from 🇪🇷 has bookmarked:

“New recipe” is code for “less content, but worse ingredients”.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has downloaded:

They should invent a small lifestyle change that has an instantaneous, huge payoff.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has downloaded:

You guys can continue with the week, I’ve stopped here.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has bookmarked:

Millennials are just 30-40-year-olds who look 20-30 years old and feel 80-90 years old.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has shared:

Maturing is realizing you’re not stable enough to do mushrooms.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has copied:

How did they get kids to pose for oil paintings? Mine won’t sit still for 4 seconds for a family photo.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has shared:

Don’t let me drive if you’re gonna scream every time we almost die.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

241 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,510

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,510

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,382

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

We interrupt coverage of one horrible story for breaking news of another horrible story.

Just shared via X:

Are you telling me these billionaires don’t have my best interests at heart?!

Just shared via Messenger:

Animals are so crazy because, why is your mom only one year older than you?

Just shared via Snapchat:

We live in a time where intelligent people are being silenced, so that stupid people won’t be offended.

Going viral on Telegram:

Have to write a note to my kid’s first grade teacher, and now I’m stressed out about my handwriting.

Seen just now on Threads:

My cat smells like cigarettes again and I’m sick of his excuses.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

I love saying “You’re welcome!” really loudly when someone hasn’t thanked me.

Live now on YouTube:

When one door closes, lock it securely, along with all your other doors and windows, before any inspirational quotes get in.

Breaking via X:

Social media needs to crash for like a year so everybody can snap back into reality.

Trending via Snapchat:

Never trust someone who can eat 24/7 but is still skinny.

I’m a red flag, but the material is quality.

6 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Sounds like a luxury car with a check engine light on 😂🚗✨

flag, humor, material, quality, red, red flag, relationship, sarcasm

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

If I text you an accordion emoji, it means you better start acting accordingly.

0

2 months ago

accordingly, accordion, act, acting, better, communication, emoji, expectation, humor, i, means, start, text
I am awake. Please respect my privacy during this difficult time.

0

2 months ago

am, awake, difficult, difficult time, humor, i, personal, personal space, please, privacy, respect, sarcasm, sleep, space, time
As I get older, I’m understanding why everything needs to be done before 12 p.m.

0

3 months ago

12, adulting, aging, before, done, everything, humor, i, management, morning, needs, older, productivity, routine, time, time management, understanding, why
You have 8 hours remaining to create shareholder value.

0

1 week ago

8, business, create, deadline, hours, humor, productivity, shareholder, time, value, work
Life tip: if nothing goes right, go to sleep.

0

4 months ago

advice, coping, coping mechanism, humor, life, life tip, mechanism, nothing, right, sleep, tip
I think I look pretty okay for my age. It’s just when I hold menus two feet from my face that I know the ruse is up.

0

2 months ago

age, appearance, eyesight, face, feet, hold, humor, i, just, know, menus, okay, pretty, reality, ruse, self-deprecation, think

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

68 shares on LinkedIn this month:

The Bible is 100% accurate when thrown at close range.

62 shares on WeChat this month:

I can always tell what part of my cycle I’m in by how concerned my friends are over my Tweets.

75 shares on YouTube this month:

It’s messed up that there are a million songs about love, but zero about hopping on a quick call with key stakeholders.

61 shares on Facebook this month:

Blink if you want me!

52 shares on Instagram this month:

People should come with warning labels.

93 shares on WhatsApp this month:

My girlfriend? You wouldn’t know her, she’s in a different data center.

22 shares on Reddit this month:

Good news: I set an all time high today! Bad news: It’s my cholesterol.

30 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Just seen the cost of funerals and no wonder people are living longer.

85 shares on Threads this month:

Everything is a sign from God if you’re schizophrenic enough.

59 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I love 12 a.m. to 5 a.m. The world is so quiet.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇸 has shared:

I hate when cashiers feel the need to check if my money is real. If I could make counterfeit money, I wouldn’t be at the Dollar Tree, Karen.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has shared:

Interpretive dance is the best way to answer stupid questions.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has bookmarked:

You know those lines you see painted on parking lots? I know this will come as a shock to some of you, but you’re supposed to park between them.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has downloaded:

I failed as a person; I’m a dinosaur now.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has shared:

I do not want to have a career. I want to sit on the porch.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has downloaded:

Amazing if accurate: bleeding money.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has downloaded:

Whoever salts the fries at McDonald’s needs to come do the roads.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has bookmarked:

Only at 27 do you become old, and then when you turn 30, you become younger than ever. That’s just how it goes.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has shared:

In six days God created heaven and earth. On the seventh day, in the interests of balance, the BBC interviewed Satan.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has downloaded:

Some people can’t sleep because they have insomnia. I can’t sleep because I have Internet.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Messenger:

A police lineup, but you have to recognize your dad’s sneeze.

Trending via Slack:

Babies sighing is so funny to me. My dear, the time to sigh has not come.

Trending via Facebook:

The first 120 hours after the weekend are always the worst.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

Have you ever pretended not to look at the biscuits or sweets being handed around the room, and acted surprised when you got offered one?

Broadcasted on YouTube:

Hate when people ask “why is it called Silence of the Lambs?” Like, did you hear any lambs during the movie? Use your head!

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Just another day of not being hot and rich.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Dogs naturally form packs, and if left undisturbed, will teach themselves how to play poker.

Seen just now on X:

People will make you sad but cheese will always make you happy. The choice is simple.

Just shared via Snapchat:

I’m so embarrassed by the paragraphs I used to send expressing my feelings.

Shared recently on Instagram:

I believe in Bigfoot because Bigfoot believes in me.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I’m a red flag, but the material is quality.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

If I text you an accordion emoji, it means you better start acting accordingly.

I am awake. Please respect my privacy during this difficult time.

As I get older, I’m understanding why everything needs to be done before 12 p.m.

You have 8 hours remaining to create shareholder value.

Life tip: if nothing goes right, go to sleep.

I think I look pretty okay for my age. It’s just when I hold menus two feet from my face that I know the ruse is up.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨