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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇬 has viewed:

I’m just impressed by how ugly I’m willing to look in public these day.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has copied:

Hate when you’re trying to take a nap and the dentist is all “Please open your mouth.”

Someone from 🇻🇨 has downloaded:

For all those wondering, yes, I am retired. I was tired yesterday, and I am tired again today.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has viewed:

I used to eat my feelings but now it’s so expensive, I might as well go to therapy.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has shared:

I love how my brain is like, “We’re not going to think about that,” and then thinks about only that.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has copied:

Be a pineapple: stand tall, wear a crown, and be sweet on the inside.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has bookmarked:

Washing machine minutes are not the same as regular minutes.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has bookmarked:

It’s like winter is mad and keeps storming out, then coming back yelling ‘and another thing!’

Someone from 🇲🇳 has downloaded:

Water is a drink whose flavor is its temperature.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has downloaded:

Welcome to your 40s: it’s Saturday night so you know what that means, absolutely nothing, go to bed.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,724

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via WeChat:

Being a little older, I am very fortunate to have someone call and check on me every day. He’s from India, and he’s very concerned about my car warranty.

Going viral on Facebook:

I might look like I have my life together, but that’s only because the mess is out of the camera frame.

Breaking via Facebook:

When you’re over 40 and a part of your body starts hurting for no reason that is nature sending a “what ya doing?” text.

Spotted on WeChat:

Easiest way to ragebait a finance bro is to start the ‘why can’t we print more money’ conversation.

Just landed via X:

Once I matched with a guy and ended up finding out he lived in my neighborhood, so I told him to go outside and scream, and he did. And I heard it.

Just landed via TikTok:

Things can feel really overwhelming. Sometimes days or even weeks can get really hectic. Don’t forget that life is all about getting as much phone time as possible. Never lose sight of that.

Live now on Twitch:

Making art is making love to the world.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Thank god I played a lot of Tetris as a kid or I never would have been able to get everything into the freezer.

Just shared via Twitch:

As a woman, you need to forgive yourself for men you entertained when you had low self-esteem.

Seen just now on X:

I love talkative cats. Like, yeah, bro. Meow, meow! You’re so right.

Making a grown man kiss his camera on Facetime.

0
Making a grown man kiss his camera on Facetime.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah yes, the modern ritual of making grown men pucker up for a steamy smooch with their trusty camera on Facetime 📸💋. Who needs cupid's arrow when technology can make hearts flutter at the touch of a button? #CameraKisses"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

39 shares on TikTok this month:

I say “long story short,” and suddenly we’re in Act III with an intermission.

27 shares on WhatsApp this month:

First you’re cringe, then you’re the blueprint.

72 shares on Messenger this month:

The purpose of a meme is to disturb the humorless, and to humor the disturbed.

19 shares on Instagram this month:

Boss: Why do I have to always come and find you? Me: Because a good employee is hard to find.

36 shares on Telegram this month:

Amazon cart: Order now and it will arrive today. Amazon confirmation email: LOL, just kidding, it’ll be a week from tomorrow.

98 shares on X this month:

Me: Hello, darkness, my old friend. Darkness: I have a boyfriend.

59 shares on Slack this month:

Dear recipe websites. I don’t need your life story. Just give me the recipe.

77 shares on Discord this month:

I’m going to bed, everyone. Try to keep it down.

10 shares on Snapchat this month:

My greatest aspiration is to one day solve a murder on a train.

16 shares on Messenger this month:

Due to inflation, you can now eat food that has been on the floor for up to 7.3 seconds.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

21 folks are currently checking 👀

So proud of my ancestors for crawling out of the sea and evolving lungs. Pretty disappointed in them ever since though.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

What many call beauty can just be wiped off 90% of the time.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m glad nobody can see the face I make when I’ve just started the washing machine and then spot a sock on the floor.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Doggy style means I get a treat afterwards, right?

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Getting drunk was invented by Big Text to make you send more texts.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I get ignored so much, my name should be “terms and conditions”.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

My southern family thinks my daily routine in NYC is that I wake up, try really hard not to get stabbed by a knife, and then I go see a musical.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

No LinkedIn, I am not “open to work,” I am required to work.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

At my age, a trail of clothes leading to the bedroom, means I dropped them on the way from the dryer.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

“Huh” is 94% of my vocabulary.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,501

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇸 has copied:

I’m going to be a printer today and just not work.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has downloaded:

Welcome to Netflix. We have everything but what you want to watch.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has bookmarked:

The younger generation will never know the fear and anxiety of calling your friend’s house, and their parents answer the phone.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has bookmarked:

I had to quit my job because people kept falling in love with me there.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has downloaded:

Remind the demons under your bed that you’re the landlord, raise the rent.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has downloaded:

I need a horror movie where a kidnapper abducts a possessed child and finds out.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has copied:

Get in loser, we’re going overthinking.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has bookmarked:

“I asked Grok.” “I asked ChatGPT.” Well, I’ve sacrificed a sheep.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has viewed:

I prefer people who actually know what’s going on.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has bookmarked:

Why are “hemorrhoids” not called “assteroids”?

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

At my age I don’t sleep, I nap between pee breaks.

Spotted on Reddit:

A moth flies into your face out of nowhere. You could ask him why he does that, but what would you do with the information?

Just landed via X:

Kettlebells? I thought you said kettle chips.

Spotted on Twitch:

I would like to thank my arms for always being by my side. My legs for always supporting me. And my fingers because I can always count on them.

Shared recently on Slack:

Therapy isn’t enough. I need to run my brain through the dishwasher.

Going bananas on WeChat:

When Dr. Seuss wrote, “Oh, The Places You’ll Go,” he did not consider how comfortable my couch would be.

Making waves on WeChat:

The tarot lady on my TikTok said that you miss me.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Nothing bad can happen while you’re under a blanket. Just remember that.

Going viral on YouTube:

Tried counting sheep, but now I’m emotionally invested in their backstories and I think one might need therapy.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Adults chasing the popularity they missed out on as teenagers are the worst.

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