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Commentary:
"Being the mayor of a small town is like running a country where everyone knows your embarrassing high school stories! 🏛️🌾 #LocalCelebrity #BigFishSmallPond"

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Trending Funny Quotes 👇

“Why don’t you tell us anything anymore?” I’ve updated my privacy policy.

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2 months ago

anything, communication, humor, policy, privacy, privacy policy, sarcasm, technology, tell, update, us, why
The second cup of coffee does for me what a can of spinach does for Popeye.

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2 months ago

caffeine, coffee, comparison, cup, energy, humor, me, motivation, Popeye, second, spinach
Nothing bad can happen while you’re under a blanket. Just remember that.

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1 month ago

bad, blanket, comfort, cozy, happen, humor, just, nothing, protection, remember, safety, under, while
Holding it together with duct tape and sarcasm.

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2 months ago

coping, duct, duct tape, holding, humor, laughter, life, life struggles, resilience, sarcasm, struggles, tape, together, wit
Sorry, I can’t hang out. I don’t know enough words.

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2 months ago

apology, communication, enough, excuse, hang, humor, i, know, socializing, sorry, vocabulary, words
Isolation, the most goated coping mechanism. I love talking to no one and losing my mind alone.

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5 months ago

alone, coping, coping mechanism, goated, health, humor, i, isolation, losing, losing mind, love, mechanism, mental, mental health, mind, most, solitude, talking, talking to no one

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

45 shares on Telegram this month:

Why would I finish my thought when I could have a new, more exciting one?

30 shares on Pinterest this month:

If you live in the same hemisphere as me, you’ve probably already heard me sneeze.

62 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Typing in your email address on the TV is a different type of irritation.

79 shares on YouTube this month:

Some should judge a little less and look at their lives a little more.

51 shares on WeChat this month:

Breakfast is the most important beer of the day.

75 shares on Telegram this month:

Sorry, can’t. The pears I bought a couple days ago have ripened.

53 shares on Twitch this month:

Beginning of August is always wild because it’s peak summertime, but the veil is so thin, like it’s Halloween.

33 shares on Telegram this month:

Too shy for influencing. Too dumb for crypto. Too honest for a scam. Too lazy for 9-5. How can I make money?

48 shares on Twitch this month:

God, on inventing the tiger: “Okay, so this is going to be some kind of cat that likes to eat Frosted Flakes.”

62 shares on X this month:

The only sunscreen that’s 100% effective is abstinence.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇴 has bookmarked:

In a parallel universe, Mariah Carey is doing her shopping and is sick of hearing me on every store’s speaker system.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has viewed:

Reading a book is nice, but reading a book in the middle of the night when everyone is asleep is even better, it’s therapeutic.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has bookmarked:

Guy smoking weed daily: “I think smoking weed in moderation is fine.”

Someone from 🇮🇶 has viewed:

Social media needs to crash for like a year so everybody can snap back into reality.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has copied:

I’ve already sent Santa a short letter this week to say hello. Not that he thinks I only get in touch if I want something.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has viewed:

The way turkeys feel about November is probably how treadmills feel about January.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has copied:

Can you delete that photo of me? It looks exactly the way I look in real life.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has copied:

To save money, you really just gotta stay at home.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has shared:

I have a lot to offer! Most of it’s bad, but it’s still a lot.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has shared:

Diarrhea. Having it. Spelling it. Everything about it is shit.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Reddit:

My favorite dance move is trying to get out of my own way.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Crazy how every smart person recommends going for walks.

Making waves on WeChat:

An Amish party in the desert called churning man.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Stop blaming everyone for all your problems. Pick one person you hate and blame them for everything.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

What’s a good career for people with no motivation or talent?

Making waves on Reddit:

You should be able to mute someone in real life. Annoying coworker? Silence them for 24 hours by booping them on the nose!

Going viral on X:

If you can’t look back at your younger self and realize that you were an idiot, you are probably still an idiot.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

My worst fear is looking out my window at night, and someone looking right at me.

Live now on Threads:

Tuesday is just another Monday, but reheated.

Shared recently on Slack:

If my neighbors would just talk a little louder I could follow along with their conversation, but no. Rude.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Mayor of a small town is such a wild job. It’s like being the president of a country where you went to high school with the whole population.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

“Why don’t you tell us anything anymore?” I’ve updated my privacy policy.

The second cup of coffee does for me what a can of spinach does for Popeye.

Nothing bad can happen while you’re under a blanket. Just remember that.

Holding it together with duct tape and sarcasm.

Sorry, I can’t hang out. I don’t know enough words.

Isolation, the most goated coping mechanism. I love talking to no one and losing my mind alone.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨