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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇲 has copied:

If you ever have a crush on someone and want it to end, listen to a podcast they are on.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has downloaded:

I think I’ma end the year with a plot twist, everyone hold on tight.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has copied:

When someone loses something, I like to ask helpful questions like ‘Where did you last see it?’ and ‘Where did you put it?’ and ‘Where is it?’

Someone from 🇳🇵 has downloaded:

Starting a new show sucks. Who are these people?

Someone from 🇦🇸 has viewed:

I would rather walk directly into the ocean than tell people a fun fact about myself.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has bookmarked:

Any day now, there will be a child born and named Labubu.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has copied:

Why spend like $300 Dollars on a pair of shoes? Do you know how many chicken nuggets you can buy with that money?

Someone from 🇦🇱 has bookmarked:

Have you ever wanted to grab somebody by the shoulders, give them a good shake and whisper “Nobody cares!”

Someone from 🇹🇴 has shared:

Tried to be a responsible adult today. Won’t be doing that again.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has viewed:

Picking up the hem of my baggy pants to walk up the stairs like it’s a ballgown.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

234 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,503

Funny Quotes Topics

17,569

Funny Quotes Images

15,503

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,726

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Facebook:

I just come here for the free life advice and inspirational quotes from people who’s lives are complete train wrecks.

Trending via YouTube:

For my next trick, I’ll watch a two-hour movie in four.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

Duolingo does everything except actually teach you the language.

Just landed via WeChat:

Sorry I missed your call, I was staring in horror at the screen, wondering why on earth you couldn’t just text me.

Spreading quickly via X:

Career? Never heard of her. I’m majoring in sunshine and snacks.

Making waves on Telegram:

In the 80s, you could literally shrink your kids with a shrink-ray, and your wife wouldn’t divorce you. I’m pretty sure I saw a documentary film about it.

Spotted on WeChat:

So does everybody have a collection of grocery bags that you keep inside of a grocery bag?

Going viral on Discord:

Have you ever just restarted the dryer because you didn’t feel like folding the clothes yet?

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Turns out the honeymoon phase lasts forever when you pick the right partner.

Making waves on Discord:

My husband sure has a lot of opinions on which movie he’s gonna sleep through.

Men be like, “But I’m different.” Yeah, a different type of disappointment.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah yes, the rare and elusive 'Limited Edition Disappointment' 🦄🙄 #Collector'sItem"

different, disappointment, gender, humor, men, stereotype, type

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

If you watch Home Alone backwards it’s a loving story about a boy that heals two men that were savagely beaten.

0

2 months ago

alone, backwards, boy, healing, home, home alone, humor, loving, men, perspective, story, watch
My husband saw a rabbit in our yard eating grass and said “That would be like sitting in a field of french fries.”

0

2 months ago

comparison, eating, field, food, food comparison, french, french fry, fry, grass, humor, husband, rabbit, saw, sitting, yard
I say “long story short,” and suddenly we’re in Act III with an intermission.

0

7 days ago

act, conversation, exaggeration, humor, i, intermission, joke, long story, say, short, story, storytelling, theater
I’ve never met a cake I didn’t want to fork.

0

2 months ago

cake, craving, dessert, food, fork, humor, i, joke, never, sweet, sweet tooth, tooth, want
Your nose is in the middle of your face because it is the scenter.

0

2 months ago

face, humor, joke, middle, nose, pun, scenter, wordplay
The world is my ostrich, or whatever.

0

2 months ago

absurdity, humor, playful, randomness, sarcasm, whatever, whimsical, world

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

48 shares on Messenger this month:

They should make the last foot of dental floss red so you know when you’re about to run out.

22 shares on Threads this month:

Ever think vampires just lied about hating garlic, now we’re just out here seasoning ourselves for them?

91 shares on Telegram this month:

All I’m saying is that at first I am shy and then I become a podcast.

13 shares on WeChat this month:

Be the nonsense you wish to see in the world.

36 shares on Threads this month:

Wine must breathe. I always hear that wine needs to breathe. I want to drink it and not revive it.

78 shares on Instagram this month:

Meeting Beyoncé and telling her I loved her in Goldmember and mentioning nothing about her music career, just to see if it throws her off.

70 shares on Messenger this month:

Do beavers even know what they’re doing, or do they just see water flowing down a river and think, “Absolutely not”?

68 shares on YouTube this month:

What does international law say about a third Margarita?

73 shares on Reddit this month:

I wish that reading books in the park were my job, and I got paid six figures for it.

52 shares on Threads this month:

“What fresh hell is this?“ It’s actually the same hell as yesterday. Not fresh at all, really.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇲 has bookmarked:

“Your password is too weak!” Just wait until you see my impulse control.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has copied:

There’s no post-breakup healing process for girls. You just wake up one day and be like, “Ew,” and you’re free.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has downloaded:

My dog sure does give a lot of side eye for someone without a job.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has copied:

Everybody looks like a criminal on the self-checkout camera.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has shared:

Studies show that sleepwalking has decreased among Americans over the last 10 years. Typical lazy Americans.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has copied:

I love how women can go from obsessed to not interested at all when a man makes that one wrong move.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has bookmarked:

Twitter needs a button that’s “bring back that tweet I was just starting to read before you automatically refreshed.”

Someone from 🇦🇫 has downloaded:

You can talk about any topic for 30 mins if you’re a confident liar.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has bookmarked:

“Well, this is no good. How do I turn it off?” – The first primate to experience consciousness.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has viewed:

Never wrestle with a pig. You get dirty, and besides, the pig likes it.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Threads:

I think God’s next test for me should be, “Can he handle a ridiculous amount of money.”

Making waves on YouTube:

I have read that there are imaginary pregnancies. The belly gets bigger and bigger, but there is no baby inside. Finally a diagnosis.

Just shared via Messenger:

We do it every night. Annoy each other.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

You have 8 hours remaining to create shareholder value.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Never say never. Unless someone asks you when you want to go camping. Then the right answer is always “Never.”

Broadcasted on Threads:

Laying in bed with the nervous system of someone going to war.

Trending via Pinterest:

Maybe this is the Windows software update that changes everything for me.

Going bananas on TikTok:

I’ll kill the vibe, so you don’t have to.

Shared recently on X:

Why do babies cry when they are tired? Like, just go to sleep, bro, no one is stopping you.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Nobody’s more stubborn than an Android person that won’t switch to iPhone.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Men be like, “But I’m different.” Yeah, a different type of disappointment.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

If you watch Home Alone backwards it’s a loving story about a boy that heals two men that were savagely beaten.

My husband saw a rabbit in our yard eating grass and said “That would be like sitting in a field of french fries.”

I say “long story short,” and suddenly we’re in Act III with an intermission.

I’ve never met a cake I didn’t want to fork.

Your nose is in the middle of your face because it is the scenter.

The world is my ostrich, or whatever.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨