Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇹 has copied:

There is a giant spider on my dash so I’m going to have to buy a new car now.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has viewed:

I am not responsible for what my face does when you talk.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has bookmarked:

Netflix has every movie except the one you want to watch.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has shared:

Ever since I turned 20, someone is always in Japan or Italy. Is it like this forever?

Someone from 🇸🇿 has viewed:

I just hit the back arrow on a website, and it took me to a page that said, “Before you leave.” No. I already made the decision.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has viewed:

It’s like my therapist always says, that’ll be $175.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has viewed:

Australia is like someone’s still playing Jumanji.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has downloaded:

Right before rock bottom, you’ll have a city builder game on your phone.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has shared:

You’re either really good at wrapping presents or you’re really beautiful and funny. It’s one or the other.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has downloaded:

University is more like teaching yourself for a class you paid for.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,385

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Facebook:

Gatekeeping how insanely handsome I am by looking like total shit all the time.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

I swear, one more minor inconvenience and I’m running away to join the circus.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

At the beginning of a relationship, people call their partner’s odd behavior “cute little quirks”. Some years later, the police call it “motive”.

Just landed via Messenger:

I smile at all animals, just not the human ones.

Going viral on YouTube:

Showering & getting in bed is literally one of the best combos ever.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

At my age, a trail of clothes leading to the bedroom, means I dropped them on the way from the dryer.

Going viral on Pinterest:

I’m living in a parallel universe where I suck at parking.

Making waves on Telegram:

If you stand too close to me in the check out line, you may as well pay for my stuff while you’re breathing down my neck.

Trending via Discord:

You befriend a guy and a few days later he’s like “I wanna talk to you about something”. Please, God, let it be about the economy.

Just shared via Telegram:

Forget being the bigger person, I’m going to just start barking at people.

Men be like, “But I’m different.” Yeah, a different type of disappointment.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah yes, the rare and elusive 'Limited Edition Disappointment' 🦄🙄 #Collector'sItem"

, , , , , ,

Keep the laugh going 😂

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Funny Quotes Collections
✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

17 shares on Pinterest this month:

My husband said it would be easier if we had a Christmas house that we moved into in December, instead of taking all these decorations out.

34 shares on Reddit this month:

All the stops on the bus are pointless, except the one I’m getting off at.

23 shares on Discord this month:

I took the road less traveled. Where am I?

80 shares on YouTube this month:

I’m so toxic, I can fight for a relationship I don’t even want.

95 shares on Reddit this month:

I don’t understand how I can remember every word of a song from 1984, but I can’t remember why I walked into the kitchen.

59 shares on X this month:

The way I see it, eating chips while I wait for my pizza to arrive is no different than ordering a starter in a restaurant.

72 shares on WeChat this month:

Doing taxes for an ant who inherited a teaspoon of sugar.

10 shares on Snapchat this month:

You’re a “haha” girl, and I’m an “lol” guy. It just wouldn’t work.

35 shares on Slack this month:

Relationship status: I’m the only one wearing my hoodies.

91 shares on Threads this month:

I want to live in a world where TV sitcoms have catchy theme songs again.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

23 folks are currently checking 👀

The first thing you learn to draw in art school is money from your parents bank account.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Yes, liquor store clerk, I do need help. But I decided to come here instead.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Things went well until the evil supermarket people hid my favorite products in new places.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I woke up alive again.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s okay to embarrass yourself a little in the pursuit of human connection.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m just so lazy because I’m still recovering from the fact that I used to be the fastest sperm.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

The only problem I have with chocolate is that one minute it’s there and the next it’s not.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I wish British people had subtitles so I knew what they are on about.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m so introverted, I only listen to house music.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Somebody somewhere today don’t know it’s their last day with all 10 fingers.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,392

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇶🇦 has viewed:

I want to be in Metallica, and they will not let me.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has downloaded:

Wanna go back to my place and meow at each other?

Someone from 🇲🇷 has shared:

Females be cheating in healthy relationships, but are faithful in toxic ones.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has shared:

Tattoos: because being an adult is hard, and I deserve to have stickers.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has bookmarked:

I love the idea of a fruitarian, just morally affronted that anyone could eat a baby spinach.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has copied:

I love that cats slap the shit out of everything they can’t understand.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has downloaded:

I’ve learned the best way to find something that I’ve lost is to buy a replacement one, to make the lost one spontaneously appear.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has copied:

Nobody warns you of the devastation two days of stuffing will bring upon your digestive system.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has shared:

Seeing a grown man stumble when the train moves is disgusting. How will you provide for anyone?

Someone from 🇨🇱 has viewed:

There’s just one legitimate synonym for Friday: boom shakalaka.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Being an adult is mumbling ‘this is stupid’ as you reluctantly slide out of bed.

Spotted on Reddit:

I don’t need coffee, misanthropy fuels me.

Going viral on WeChat:

Once I see a vein on your forehead while we arguing, I’ll let you be.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Not being able to fall asleep is so embarrassing. All I’m asking my brain to do is nothing and it can’t even do that?

Just landed via Reddit:

Sorry I’m late. I was scraping the clearance tag off your Christmas present.

Shared recently on Discord:

Nothing really prepares you for when your favorite sweatpants begin to fall apart.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

No we can’t hangout, you’ll end up falling in love with me and I don’t have time for that.

Live now on Instagram:

A peaceful transition of power happening between me and this cigarette just now.

Making waves on Telegram:

Another Netflix price increase? Guess we’re only chilling now.

Just shared via YouTube:

I love cute tiny purses, but I’m sad to say I can never be a cute tiny purse girl. I need to haul my hoard of objects everywhere I go, because what if….

© 2026. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴