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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇼 has viewed:

Going to work has backfired on me so many times.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has viewed:

You can always tell it’s Monday because nobody’s smiling.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has bookmarked:

Don’t understand why electricians aren’t called power rangers, but okay.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has bookmarked:

Next time someone says “I’m a hugger” and tries to hug me, I’m gonna say “I’m a puncher” and see how it goes.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has bookmarked:

I really don’t care what happens to me romantically anymore.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has bookmarked:

I don’t think humans were put on this earth to know what Salesforce is. It’s unnatural.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has viewed:

In high school I was voted “most likely to hold a grudge” and I’m still mad about it.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has downloaded:

Life is short, unless you’re listening to a kid describing an episode of PAW Patrol.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has viewed:

Every time I watch “The Godfather”, I notice some new detail (they’re Italian???).

Someone from 🇳🇷 has viewed:

British people be like “It’s Chewsday, innit?”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,610

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

Gordon Ramsay is making us dinner. It’s a four curse meal.

Breaking via Facebook:

Just paid rent. Now I have a place to starve in.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Some days you’re the bat, some days you’re the ball.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

If I was a weather man, I’d leak the weather early to pretty women.

Men can be sorted into two camps: the ones who get haircuts way before they need them, and the ones who wait until people in their lives are complaining.

5 months ago

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Commentary:
Sounds like a hairy situation! I'm firmly in the procrastinate-until-someone-complains camp! ✂️🤣👨‍🦱

appearance, before, complaining, complaint, grooming, haircut, humor, men, need, ones, people, wait, waiting

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

The fact that someone looked straight at a purple onion and named it red onion really bothers me.

0

4 months ago

color, fact, food, humor, me, naming, observation, onion, purple, purple onion, red, red onion, someone, straight
Moose would have been a better name for a cow.

0

2 months ago

animal, better, cow, humor, moose, name
Life is short. Smile while you still have teeth.

0

2 months ago

advice, humor, laughter, life, positivity, short, short life, smile, still, teeth
Well, maybe grass should touch me for once. How about that?

0

2 months ago

grass, humor, maybe, me, nature, once, personification, sarcasm, should, touch, well, whimsy
With great power comes the absolute certainty that you’ll turn into a right douche.

0

2 months ago

caution, certainty, douche, great, humor, irony, power, responsibility, right, transformation, turn
No, they’re not “symptoms of depressions.” They’re Blue’s Clues.

0

2 months ago

Blue’s Clues, blues, clues, comedy, depression, health, humor, mental, mental health, symptoms, wordplay

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

97 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Alcohol and eye contact is a deadly combo.

30 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Who would have thought that eating a can of beans would backfire like this?

37 shares on X this month:

Me, in heaven: Can you take a photo of me sitting on that cloud?

74 shares on Messenger this month:

“I read 20 books this year!” That’s nothing. I read 50,000 tweets.

52 shares on Pinterest this month:

Naps are like gambling for the tired. You either wake up refreshed or too late to lots of angry texts.

94 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Remember when the most annoying thing about Twitter was trying to think of a shorter word.

84 shares on Twitch this month:

I withdraw my argument. I didn’t realize you had a meme to back you up.

56 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Feeling like a bug without his rug.

23 shares on Slack this month:

Walking on egg shells? In this economy?

49 shares on Reddit this month:

If GPT-5 will have ‘Ph.D.-level intelligence’, then GPT-6 will have the intelligence of someone who decided not to get a PhD.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇹 has downloaded:

Putting a hot frying pan into a sink running with cold water makes me feel like a blacksmith.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has downloaded:

I can’t do the splits. But so far there has never been a situation where I’ve thought, “I should do the splits now.”

Someone from 🇨🇫 has copied:

Sorry for levitating at the end of your bed all night, I just think you’re really cute.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has shared:

Sexting is hilarious, when you think about it. Like, this email truly should’ve been a meeting.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has copied:

Please text me back. I’m about to start making stuff up in my head, and the stuff is all bad.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has downloaded:

The 80s were wild, man. You had bands naming themselves after predatory cats with hearing problems.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has copied:

I’m having people over to stare at their phones later, if you want to come by.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has shared:

The single star on Texas’ flag is actually a review.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has bookmarked:

When you want to key his car, but he doesn’t have one, so you bend his bus pass.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has downloaded:

I don’t need therapy, I need a bagel with cream cheese.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Slack:

I have never seen a sad person sliding down a water slide.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Blackout curtains are dangerous, because it’s 1 p.m. outside and 1 a.m. in here.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Parenting a teenager is surreal because you’ll be sitting there, and some dude who is much taller than you will walk around the corner and ask you how to open a popcorn bag.

Live now on Pinterest:

I’m always sad when my sandwich is over.

Just shared via Slack:

Chuck Norris passed his driving test on foot.

Going viral on YouTube:

I can understand why chickens wake up and scream.

Making waves on Messenger:

If you are lonely, dim all the lights and put on a horror movie. You won’t feel like you are lonely any more.

Just landed via Discord:

My love life feels like when you finally spot an open space in a full parking lot — and then boom, it’s a motorcycle.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Perfume and jewelry are two things you can never go wrong with gifting me.

Spotted on WeChat:

UK rappers be like “I’ve got a posh flat and my bird is very comely, I own more motors than the marchioness of cholmondeley”

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Men can be sorted into two camps: the ones who get haircuts way before they need them, and the ones who wait until people in their lives are complaining.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

The fact that someone looked straight at a purple onion and named it red onion really bothers me.

Moose would have been a better name for a cow.

Life is short. Smile while you still have teeth.

Well, maybe grass should touch me for once. How about that?

With great power comes the absolute certainty that you’ll turn into a right douche.

No, they’re not “symptoms of depressions.” They’re Blue’s Clues.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨