Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇳 has downloaded:

Common sense is so rare these days that it should be considered a superpower.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has shared:

We’re in the middle of a snowstorm with no cake in the house. I never expected to perish like this.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has shared:

Told my boss I was going to the bathroom but didn’t say which one. Now I’m at home.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has downloaded:

Does everyone have that one colleague at work who puts you in a bad mood just by looking at them?

Someone from 🇲🇪 has shared:

By 30, you should have settled down with an addiction that works for your lifestyle, no second guessing. You go to work, come home, and [addiction].

Someone from 🇲🇭 has downloaded:

Adding “but that’s just me” after giving the absolute worst advice to a coworker.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has viewed:

There is too much money in the world for me to be broke.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has shared:

I will improve my life after I doom scroll a little more. Yes.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has shared:

The secret to a good marriage is that it’s all about give and take. Giving each other frequent back rubs and ordering lots of takeout.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has downloaded:

This bouncer’s lucky I’m with my lady and physically frightened of him or he’d be in a world of pain.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,634

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Telegram:

I smile at all animals, just not the human ones.

Going bananas on Facebook:

Missed garbage day today, if you’re looking for a bad boy that doesn’t play by the rules.

Going viral on Messenger:

Good morning to the wind beneath my wings only.

Spotted on Discord:

“Well, at least tomorrow is Friday.” -Me, having a bad Wednesday that’s about to get even worse.

Going viral on Instagram:

Obviously, I’m gonna upload pictures with filters and in my best angles. If you wanna see the ugly side of me, come to my house, but bring ice cream.

Seen just now on X:

I overthink, therefore I am.

Just shared via Telegram:

Problems are like balls. Everyone thinks they have bigger ones than you.

Seen just now on YouTube:

People should come with warning labels.

Spotted on Facebook:

Unfortunately, if you want to end your single life, you have to do something. So that’s not for me.

Seen just now on Discord:

Your fingers have fingertips, but your toes don’t have toetips. Yet, you can tiptoe but not tipfinger.

Men invented pool tables so they could watch each other bend over.

5 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, the secret behind man’s obsession with pool revealed! 🎱👀🍑"

bend, bending, bending over, humor, invention, men, over, pool, pool table, table, tables, watch

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I was raised to be humble which I excel at cause I excel at everything.

0

2 months ago

cause, confidence, everything, excel, humble, humor, i, irony, raised, self-deprecation
Going to hack Kanye’s account and make him post something normal.

0

2 months ago

account, celebrity, going, hack, humor, joke, Kanye, media, normal, post, social, social media, something
Oh, I didn’t tell you? Must have been none of your business, then.

0

5 months ago

attitude, business, communication, humor, i, none, oh, privacy, sarcasm, secret, tell
The tag on my jeans says “Relaxed” so it obviously doesn’t have children.

0

2 months ago

children, fashion, humor, irony, jeans, parenting, relaxed, tag
Enemies to lovers is only good if they’re gay. If I wanted to see a man and a woman yell at each other, I’d just go downstairs and eat with my parents.

0

2 months ago

dinner, downstairs, eat, enemies, enemies to lovers, family, family dinner, gay, good, humor, i, ID, just, lovers, man, only, parents, relationship, stereotype, wanted, woman, yell
Twitter is like a mental hospital where everyone thinks they are the only sane person and everyone else is crazy.

0

2 months ago

crazy, else, everyone, hospital, humor, irony, madness, media, mental, mental hospital, only, perception, person, reality, sane, sane person, social, social media, Twitter, where

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

80 shares on YouTube this month:

Pinterest algorithm is like a loving dad who fills the whole fridge with oranges after seeing you enjoy one.

85 shares on Telegram this month:

Every time my neighbors start moaning, I pause my music to rate the performance.

50 shares on Telegram this month:

Don’t let me drive if you’re gonna scream every time we almost die.

74 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Sitting in an antique chair is weird, like this thing has seen so many butts.

50 shares on X this month:

Therapists are like, “You don’t owe anyone anything. Except me. You owe me 250 dollars for this session.”

50 shares on Facebook this month:

Every family needs a delusional daughter who is ambitious about relieving all her family’s struggles solely by winning the lottery one day.

29 shares on Reddit this month:

Watching 2+ movies a day to prevent a thought from happening.

64 shares on X this month:

The closest thing I’ve had to a personal trainer is the ice cream truck that drove past my house.

11 shares on Threads this month:

Y’all screenshot payment confirmations to make sure they don’t play with y’all too?

30 shares on Twitch this month:

Hear me out: agenda reveal parties for people we don’t trust.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇩 has viewed:

When I’m drafting a legal document, I’ll sprinkle the word “herein” all over that thing like it’s paprika.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has copied:

I got called “pretty” today! Well, the full sentence was “You’re pretty annoying,” but I only focus on the positive things.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has shared:

“God has a plan for you.” OK, is God open to a little feedback?

Someone from 🇹🇬 has shared:

There’s someone in our team who behaves horribly to me and whenever I have to type his name, I’ve taken to using a slightly smaller font size than for everyone else’s.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has downloaded:

When I was a kid, there were two ways to die, natural causes and talking back to your parents.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has bookmarked:

I love ketchup from my head to-ma-toes.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has shared:

Before you try to save someone, make sure you’re not interrupting their karma.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has viewed:

It must be hard for a vampire to floss their fangs when they can’t see their reflection in a mirror.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has shared:

Is it just my dad, or do all fathers watch videos on their phones with the volume full blast, with no concern for anyone else in the house?

Someone from 🇩🇯 has downloaded:

Only a couple more days until I come home and pretend I forgot about Valentine’s Day.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on TikTok:

If a zombie and vampire bite each other, who turns who?

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

Psychiatry is crazy because they’re just like… Oh, you’re really depressed? Would being on a pill that makes you fat help?

Seen just now on Reddit:

After a month away and enough pasta to scare an Italian grandma, I can confirm: too much Parmesan? Never heard of her.

Live now on Instagram:

Discovering the Spice Girls broke up not over money and fame but lesbianism.

Seen just now on Discord:

I can now tell the hour of the day by which part of my body needs a heating pad.

Seen just now on Messenger:

My tattoo means that I can’t be trusted with $200.

Trending via Messenger:

It’s so embarrassing when attention seekers feel the need to tell everybody it’s their birthday in, like, every conversation, which, for me, would be today, by the way.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

Catching me in person is rare. I move like a ghost.

Just shared via Instagram:

Sometimes I’m just so exhausted I have to go to bed and scroll my phone for the next 2-3 hours.

Shared recently on Instagram:

I’m kind of excited about the apocalypse. I would love to eat a basement full of food.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Men invented pool tables so they could watch each other bend over.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I was raised to be humble which I excel at cause I excel at everything.

Going to hack Kanye’s account and make him post something normal.

Oh, I didn’t tell you? Must have been none of your business, then.

The tag on my jeans says “Relaxed” so it obviously doesn’t have children.

Enemies to lovers is only good if they’re gay. If I wanted to see a man and a woman yell at each other, I’d just go downstairs and eat with my parents.

Twitter is like a mental hospital where everyone thinks they are the only sane person and everyone else is crazy.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨