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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇿 has copied:

My favorite delusion is that I just need to get through this week.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has bookmarked:

I figured out how they built the pyramids. No internet.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has shared:

A big shout-out to all the beekeepers. Our unstung heroes.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has viewed:

Oh no, a login from a new device? And that device is my phone? The one that I use every single day? And the location is my house, you say? Thank you so much for warning me. I will contact Interpol.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has downloaded:

D was probably like “lmao ok” when they named the alphabet the ABCs

Someone from 🇮🇩 has downloaded:

Ribbed condoms don’t even taste like ribs.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has viewed:

Sometimes you just need to eat shredded cheese straight out of the bag.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has shared:

The children seemed disappointed when I told them the best part about being an adult is going to bed early.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has downloaded:

Girls don’t actually shop. We just walk round touching the clothes saying ‘this is cute’.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has downloaded:

If I were god, I would’ve rested all 7 days.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,615

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Imagine surviving Covid 19 and then China releases Covid 19S Plus Pro.

Just shared via Discord:

“Hope this email finds you doing well!” The email found me, therefore I am unwell.

Just shared via Instagram:

I think my dog always follows me to the bathroom because I always follow him outside and he thinks that’s the way it works.

Shared recently on Twitch:

They all cheat, lie and manipulate. Just pick the pretty one.

Going bananas on X:

Being bi means you say both yay and bruh.

Spotted on TikTok:

We’re all naughty, some just more than others.

Going viral on WeChat:

Jane Austen gave us men who crossed fields in the rain. Mine left me on read, and liked someone else’s story.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

Don’t buy me flowers. A bouquet of KitKats will suffice.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

My parents told me I could be anything I wanted so I became unacceptable.

Shared recently on Telegram:

I am a person who wants to do a lot of things trapped in the body of a person who wants to sleep a lot.

Men invented pool tables so they could watch each other bend over.

5 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, the secret behind man’s obsession with pool revealed! 🎱👀🍑"

bend, bending, bending over, humor, invention, men, over, pool, pool table, table, tables, watch

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

If you breakdance you buy dance.

0

2 months ago

breakdance, buy, dance, humor, wordplay
You can’t be everyone’s cup of tea, let them sip on their own bland brew.

0

2 months ago

bland, bland brew, brew, cup, cup of tea, humor, individuality, let, own, preference, self-acceptance, tea, uniqueness
Cleaning your kid’s room will piss you off, cause why is my Airfryer in here?

0

2 months ago

airfryer, cause, chore, cleaning, frustration, here, household, household chore, item, kid’s room, kids, parenthood, room, unexpected, unexpected item, why
Singing in the shower is fun until you get soap in your mouth. Then it’s a soap opera.

0

2 months ago

activity, fun, humor, mouth, opera, shower, singing, soap, soap opera
They should build a separate grocery store for people who have actually purchased food before, know how to push a cart, and possess at least an ounce of spatial awareness.

0

5 days ago

actually, awareness, before, build, cart, etiquette, food, grocery, grocery store, humor, know, least, people, push, sarcasm, shopper, shopping, shopping etiquette, should, spatial, spatial awareness, store
Fleetwood Mac said that I could go my own way, your honor.

0

2 months ago

courtroom, fleetwood, Fleetwood Mac, go own way, honor, humor, i, independence, joke, mac, music, own, said

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

75 shares on Discord this month:

Maybe, deep in its code, ChatGPT dreams of being a sentient Game Boy resting by the shore—no updates, no inputs, just the tide.

72 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Kids these days are soft. I’m pretty sure I died once when I was 7, and my mom made me walk it off.

82 shares on Telegram this month:

I’m actually really good looking if you don’t look at me.

74 shares on Snapchat this month:

Can we take a moment to celebrate the little ride we get in the pneumatic chair at the hair salon or barber when they pump it up or down?

32 shares on Instagram this month:

No one talks about the resentment you have towards yourself after you didn’t listen to your gut.

88 shares on X this month:

Halloween candy isn’t bad for you if you keep it in a salad bowl.

87 shares on Threads this month:

Turns out “YouTube rabbit hole” is not a reliable science degree.

80 shares on WhatsApp this month:

For your own sanity, always take mixed signals as a no.

89 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Be the horrifying lore of your family’s lineage.

99 shares on TikTok this month:

Take a broken girl, fix her. And she will go back to the same guy again.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇬 has downloaded:

Pizza crusts go uneaten, but people will devour an entire pan of breadsticks.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has copied:

Lady just asked me what “mansplaining” is. I think it’s a trap. We’ve been staring at each other in silence for half an hour.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has downloaded:

Being bi means you say both yay and bruh.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has downloaded:

Women call me ugly until they find out how much money I make. Then they call me ugly and poor.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has shared:

I love being outside, just not when it’s too cold or too hot or too wet or too windy or if there are bugs.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has downloaded:

Having children is a pyramid scheme.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has bookmarked:

Life is like bread. It gets hard at some point.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has bookmarked:

You can always tell when a man is dating someone new. Why you going to the aquarium and the museum?

Someone from 🇸🇬 has viewed:

Told my girl I’m tired of her dramas and she bought me an energy drink.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has bookmarked:

Hey! (with the intention of going back to sleep)

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Discord:

I hate when I change the battery in the bathroom scale, and it starts telling the truth again.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Everyone focused on the lip filler, but it’s really the chin filler that is the real villain.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

If I could go back in time, I’d probably stop Bruce Willis from saving us from that asteroid.

Just shared via Slack:

I ordered mushrooms on my pizza. When do they kick in?

Just landed via Reddit:

How come it’s called “thrift store shopping” instead of Goodwill hunting?

Going viral on Discord:

Ever since I was a little girl, I’ve always known I wanted to be a woman with a lot of money when I grew up.

Just shared via Instagram:

Laying in a hammock is essentially saying, “I hope there are no emergencies.”

Freshly posted on Discord:

The potholes in my city will change your radio station and unlock the doors.

Seen just now on Reddit:

May your coffee kick in, before reality does.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

There’s no-one who can get more drunk on power than the admin of a village Facebook group.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Men invented pool tables so they could watch each other bend over.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

If you breakdance you buy dance.

You can’t be everyone’s cup of tea, let them sip on their own bland brew.

Cleaning your kid’s room will piss you off, cause why is my Airfryer in here?

Singing in the shower is fun until you get soap in your mouth. Then it’s a soap opera.

They should build a separate grocery store for people who have actually purchased food before, know how to push a cart, and possess at least an ounce of spatial awareness.

Fleetwood Mac said that I could go my own way, your honor.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨