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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡· has viewed:

Just found out about confirmation bias, and now every article I read totally proves I was right to be worried about it.

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡² has bookmarked:

My New Year’s resolution is to procrastinate. I’Il start tomorrow.

Someone from πŸ‡¦πŸ‡¬ has shared:

Get in loser. We’re going on a guilt trip.

Someone from πŸ‡©πŸ‡° has viewed:

My life changed when I learned some house spiders can’t survive outside, so now I just catch them and release them in a friend’s home.

Someone from πŸ‡»πŸ‡ͺ has viewed:

Looks fade but dark, twisted, inappropriate humor is forever.

Someone from πŸ‡ͺπŸ‡Ή has copied:

Airbnb should have an option if you just want to use someone’s bathroom for a few minutes.

Someone from πŸ‡ͺπŸ‡¬ has viewed:

Warning: People who need to leave their homes today are advised that it is extremely Monday outside this morning.

Someone from πŸ‡«πŸ‡― has bookmarked:

Taking the day off to brush up on conspiracy theories and really get this family party started.

Someone from πŸ‡·πŸ‡Έ has copied:

The economy’s so tough, people out here eating grass β€” matcha.

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡Ή has shared:

Release that sexual frustration, get a burger.

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

2249 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,411

Funny Quotes Topics

15,118

Funny Quotes Images

12,411

Updated

38 minutes ago

Users Online

3,434

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Reported on Slack:

I need to go to jail for a while to catch up on all my reading.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Potatoes make French fries, chips and vodka. It’s like the other vegetables aren’t even trying.

Making waves on Instagram:

The cost of living has gotten so high, I’m thinking about having a nap for dinner.

Just shared via Facebook:

The world is my ostrich, or whatever.

Just shared via Threads:

Old age is like a glorious, extended long weekend, but you always know Monday’s coming.

Trending via Slack:

After a month away and enough pasta to scare an Italian grandma, I can confirm: too much Parmesan? Never heard of her.

Live now on WeChat:

The goose: Canada’s most violent saxophone.

Making waves on Slack:

Relationship status: he escaped.

Just landed via Reddit:

Breaking up is fine, but logging me out of your Netflix is crazy.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Wondering when these skinny jeans are gonna kick in.

Men invented pool tables so they could watch each other bend over.

Men invented pool tables so they could watch each other bend over.
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"Ah, the secret behind man’s obsession with pool revealed! πŸŽ±πŸ‘€πŸ‘"

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

2249 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,411

Funny Quotes Topics

15,118

Funny Quotes Images

12,411

Updated

38 minutes ago

Users Online

3,436

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡¦ has bookmarked:

I wish I could throw tomatoes at comments.

Someone from πŸ‡¦πŸ‡² has viewed:

I don’t like talking to people with an IQ lower than the room temperature.

Someone from πŸ‡ΉπŸ‡΄ has bookmarked:

I think my soulmate might be carbs.

Someone from πŸ‡­πŸ‡Ή has downloaded:

Robots eating a bowl of cereal that’s actually a bunch of nuts and bolts, you don’t see that as much anymore.

Someone from πŸ‡¦πŸ‡© has downloaded:

A guy in the parking lot saw me trip over my own feet so I yelled to him β€œI just quantum leaped into this body!”

Someone from πŸ‡ΉπŸ‡³ has downloaded:

Why did they have to bleep out everything R2D2 said?

Someone from πŸ‡±πŸ‡° has bookmarked:

I’m not even a 2nd choice, I’m like an 8th choice, sometimes a 10th.

Someone from πŸ‡ΉπŸ‡­ has bookmarked:

Mike is short for Micycle.

Someone from πŸ‡°πŸ‡Ό has bookmarked:

Life is short. Make sure you spend as much time as possible on the web arguing with strangers.

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡± has shared:

Sounds like you are suffering from a lack of vitamin Me.

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Just shared via WeChat:

Me drinking green tea: this is going to fix everything.

Breaking via WeChat:

I asked myself if I was the problem and we said no.

Just landed via WeChat:

Procrastination isn’t a horrible thing. I mean, you always have something to do tomorrow… plus you have nothing to do today.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

Hello 911? Yes, my wife is forcing me to walk over to meet the neighbors.

Just shared via Telegram:

How quickly family vacations go from “Omg, we only have 4 days left” to “Omg, we still have 4 days left”

Live now on Pinterest:

I’ve never met a problem I couldn’t turn into a disaster.

Trending via YouTube:

I bought a little notebook to keep track of who’s above the law.

Breaking via WeChat:

It should be illegal to take a nap and still have a headache when you wake up. Like, I shut it off and back on again, why are you still here?

Breaking via Twitch:

I used to have a great future in my past.

Spotted on Instagram:

I don’t need a fancy watch to tell me I’m not fit one bit.

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