Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇩 has shared:

I see WWIII is about to kick off again. I’d best cancel the milk and get the cat in.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has shared:

If my wife doesn’t win anything on this $2 scratch ticket, it’s going to go down as one of the worst birthday presents ever.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has copied:

The concept of hot water showers feeling so good but not actually being good for your hair or skin is disgusting.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has downloaded:

Men look so amazing for people who use the same product for their teeth, hair, floor and car washing.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has copied:

Okay, fall, I see you showing a lil’ leg.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has viewed:

The fatigue is reaching levels that shouldn’t even be possible.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has bookmarked:

The older I get, the more I realize being in a hurry is a terrible way to live your life.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has bookmarked:

A degree in international law is about as real as a degree in Dothraki.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has copied:

Chip bags should be clear, show me what you want me to pay $6 for, cowards.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has downloaded:

Running from your problems is cardio.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

237 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,506

Funny Quotes Topics

17,571

Funny Quotes Images

15,506

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,305

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Instagram:

The secret to my success is everywhere I go I wear a shirt that says STAFF on the back.

Just shared via Facebook:

For Valentine’s Day, I’m gift-wrapping a shirt my husband hasn’t worn in years. It’s the thought that counts—and technically, I thought of it twice.

Breaking via Instagram:

(pausing the TV and turning to my kids) Now I want to talk to you guys for a second about what Bart just told that man to do.

Trending via TikTok:

Not the sharpest cheddar on the charcuterie board.

Spotted on Threads:

Love Island is fun, but when is Job Island on?

Just shared via Reddit:

Without freedom of speech we wouldn’t know who the idiots are.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Half princess, half menace.

Breaking via Twitch:

What is that job called where you put the little stickers on fruit? I think I would be good at that.

Making waves on Telegram:

I never argue, I just explain why I’m right.

Making waves on Telegram:

Dear God, thank you for the job I have. But if you have a lottery win planned for me, I’m ready! Thank you.

Money enters like Beyoncé and exits like Britney.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Guess my wallet's ready to hit 'Baby One More Time'! 💸👛😂"

Beyoncé, britney, celebrity, expense, financial, humor, income, money

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Some days you just feel like a hotel microwave. You’re here, but you don’t have enough power to actually do anything.

0

2 months ago

days, do nothing, energy, feel, feeling, here, hotel, humor, just, lazy, microwave, nothing, power, relatable
Applied for an internship to gain experience and got rejected because I didn’t have relevant experience.

0

2 months ago

application, experience, gain, got, humor, i, internship, irony, job, job application, paradox, rejection
If elves make shoes, cookies, and toys, why don’t we put them in charge of more stuff?

0

2 months ago

charge, cooky, elf, holiday, humor, imagination, leadership, put, responsibility, sh, stuff, toys, why
Being friends with introverts is hard sometimes. Did they die? Are they just recharging? Are they Batman now? The suspense is killing me.

0

2 months ago

Batman, being, die, friends, hard, humor, interaction, introvert, just, me, recharging, social, social interaction, suspense
Never underestimate the healing power of a cheeseburger.

0

4 months ago

cheeseburger, comfort, comfort food, food, healing, healing power, humor, never, power, underestimate
As long as you’re still fishing fruit flies out of your drink, you’re not drunk.

0

2 months ago

alcohol, drink, drunk, fishing, fly, fruit, fruit fly, humor, party, perspective, still

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

11 shares on Facebook this month:

Apparently, when you treat someone the same way they treat you, they get offended!

23 shares on Pinterest this month:

In a room full of art, I’d still stare at you.

66 shares on Messenger this month:

Is ChatGPT my father-in-law because it keeps making stuff up and passing it off as fact?

88 shares on YouTube this month:

How dare this person in traffic hold me up for seconds on the way to a place that doesn’t require my immediate presence?

24 shares on WeChat this month:

“You look tired!” Bro, I want to stop existing.

62 shares on Telegram this month:

I wish pets lived longer, and life wasn’t so expensive, and cake didn’t make you fat, and people weren’t twats.

35 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Traveling back in time to proudly inform Benjamin Franklin that my stove has wifi.

67 shares on TikTok this month:

It’s my birthday, but I’m not gonna post about it for attention like some kind of loser.

84 shares on Pinterest this month:

I love canceling plans. I didn’t want to go in the first place. I just wanted to be invited.

50 shares on Snapchat this month:

I put the dance in “Good riddance!”

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇴 has copied:

Unfortunately for things, they have no choice but to work out for me.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has shared:

How inappropriate is it to ask a stranger to scratch your back? Need to know ten minutes ago.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has copied:

Not to brag, but I can shake your hand and forget your name simultaneously.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has shared:

Be nice today, the world is on fire.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has copied:

If you don’t believe aliens walk amongst us, who else could write such unnatural dialogue in pharmaceutical commercials?

Someone from 🇰🇬 has shared:

I will never stop being a quitter!

Someone from 🇪🇪 has copied:

I wasn’t planning on moving, but I was just invited to the neighborhood fall potluck, so I guess now I have no choice.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has bookmarked:

I suck at flirting, I end up arguing with them instead.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has shared:

Fleetwood Mac said that I could go my own way, your honor.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has bookmarked:

Caught my husband staring at me again. He’s probably weighing his pros and cons.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Messenger:

Sex is cool, but have you ever found an academic article that fits your research topic perfectly and supports all of your claims?

Seen just now on Slack:

I really want to be nice, but annoying people just won’t let me.

Trending via Slack:

The feminine urge to say “ouch” when I bump into things that doesn’t even hurt.

Seen just now on Facebook:

The problem with expensive things is that you tend to want them.

Breaking via Telegram:

I miss the old days back in 1955, when I didn’t exist.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

Fundamentally, I understand chess, because I too would never let my king feel unsafe.

Going viral on Telegram:

Most people have 32 teeth. Some have 10. Simple meth.

Breaking via Facebook:

Sexting is hilarious, when you think about it. Like, this email truly should’ve been a meeting.

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

Hey girl, are you a burger? Because I love you.

Spotted on Pinterest:

I tried meowing back at the cat to show him I was making an effort, but he just switched to English.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Money enters like Beyoncé and exits like Britney.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Some days you just feel like a hotel microwave. You’re here, but you don’t have enough power to actually do anything.

Applied for an internship to gain experience and got rejected because I didn’t have relevant experience.

If elves make shoes, cookies, and toys, why don’t we put them in charge of more stuff?

Being friends with introverts is hard sometimes. Did they die? Are they just recharging? Are they Batman now? The suspense is killing me.

Never underestimate the healing power of a cheeseburger.

As long as you’re still fishing fruit flies out of your drink, you’re not drunk.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨