Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • Please help my husband and I decide on dinner. We’ve narrowed it down to “It doesn’t matter” and “It’s your turn to choose”.
  • They get real weird at the gun store if you walk in crying and asking for “the biggest one”.
  • I admire the audacity of beavers, they just move to a new area and say “screw the neighbors, imma put a lake here”.
  • Not smiling until Friday; nothing is funny this week.
  • Sleep when the baby sleeps, eat when the baby eats, work when the baby works.
  • Keeping my mouth shut is usually not enough to avoid an argument with my husband. I also have to deactivate the subtitle function on my face.